Emotional
by Bittersweet Romanticide
Summary: Ash just wishes that Misty would be nicer, or maybe more sarcastic, or maybe a cheerleader or a genius, anyone other than who she is. The Legendaries have no problem arranging that, but, in the end, is it really what he wants? AAML
1. Game Start

**Game Start**

Pallet was a town for starting things.

Yes, this simple town hidden in the trees, surrounded by crashing ocean waves was quite the interesting place. This was where people started their journeys, trainers and coordinators alike. This was the place where half the people in Kanto came to get married, where many fell in love. This was the first town ever built in their region. This was the first town to have a computer, the first town to have a pokeball. It was the first town to have an Ash Ketchum that stumbled in late, got a Pikachu, and ran off to fantastic friends and wonderful adventure.

This was also the first time in a long time that Legendaries had ventured out of their region. Intrigued by the thought of the hero, the Chosen One, that each had briefly met, they followed him back to his region at the close of the Sinnoh League. Mespirit, Uxie and Azelf weren't normally curious about the affairs of humans, they had done their job in delivering will, knowledge and emotion and were much keener on hiding far from view and waiting in case Arceus deemed their powers necessary once again. However, as most Legendaries and people alike often did, they made an exception for the ever interesting Ash Ketchum.

What many people don't realize is that Chosen Ones are not randomly picked. No, at the beginning of the human race one was chosen, and from that point on each Chosen One was unknowingly groomed and cropped without their knowledge to marry a certain man or woman so the bloodline would continue in the proper manner. All Chosen Ones had a destined mate, though it wasn't as pleasant as one would like to think. The Chosen Ones do not have a choice in the matter, and are, in fact, unwitting pawns in every step and action they take in their life. They truly can do no wrong, because their lives, the ups and downs, are all plotted.

But, then again, as the Legendary of Time Dialga would say, "No, stupid, you've got free will, but you can't change the future. The future _is _the past. You're not gonna do it, you already did. I _saw _you. So, go ahead, eat the doughnut, lady, you're already going to get fat." This isn't very nice, but _she_ isn't very nice. It suits her. She's very blunt and very sensible, but knowing absolutely everything, both past and future, can be very blunt making. The point is that Dialga was correct in her statement, and Ash was an unwilling pawn in the Legendaries' game of chess.

With the insistence and prodding of several other legends who could "use a good giggle", Mesprit had darted off to Cerulean and given Misty a good tap during the middle of an argument with her sister, which provided a valid, yet surprisingly reasonable explanation for the often irrational angry Misty to dart off to the town for starting things. Perhaps the being of will, Azelf, could have merely given her the uncontrollable drive, but that wouldn't have been nearly as easily as explainable, and they weren't there to cause chaos. Just give fate a push.

"What do you know about it?" the redhead snarled. "You _hire _people to clean the pool, Daisy! I nearly died in that filter today! If it hadn't been for Psyduck freaking out, because you didn't bother to check inside the filter _you _used to shove me in, I would have drowned because you _turned it on_. You don't do that! You can't just not think!"

"Why?" she retorted dryly. "You don't think all the time! You, like, ran away and then off with Ash for all those years and, like, the only reason you came back was because I _called _you back. You totally wouldn't have come otherwise. So, like, why don't you shut up about it? I said I was sorry and that I, like, wouldn't ever do it again. That should be enough but it never is! You know what? I'm _glad _you almost drowned."

"Well, I'm _sorry _you were born."

Daisy grinned. "You know why your room _sucks _and is way smaller than ours? You weren't on purpose. You were a mistake."

That one hurt a bit, actually. She was pretty sure Daisy was joking, she generally was, but it was pretty rare that she used that insult, and it was the only one she had very, very good proof for. A smaller room, only hand-me-downs, a name that seemed to be thought up on the spot rather than her parents taking the time to search for a flower name all pointed in one direction, one she had concluded the second she saw a show on TV explain what a mistake was, and a few weeks later when the insult popped out of her sisters' mouths.

She balled her hands into fists and spread her feet into a fighting stance, knowing her face was flushing with anger. "Daisy, I swear to Mew I-" She blinked slowly at the calm suddenly falling on her head, dropping her hands to the side. She suddenly missed Pallet…not for Ash, but Mrs. Ketchum. Even if she was a mistake, she was sure that Mrs. Ketchum would love her all the same, and she loved Mrs. Ketchum like she would a real mother, if her mother hadn't died when she was younger. "I'm going to go to Pallet."

"Pallet?" she scoffed, looking a little tense. "You, like, know that Ash isn't in Pallet, right?"

"Yeah, but Mrs. Ketchum is." Misty blinked gently. "She is. She's a nice woman, Daisy. She's like that mother I never got the chance to have. You should have stepped up to the plate and been that mother, Daisy. It's a real disappointment you didn't. I'm sure if Mom and Dad were here now, they'd be just as upset about me being a mistake as you being a really bad replacement mother. You're only good to sign the forms."

In her daze, she didn't notice the blonde close her eyes, push her hair away from her face. She didn't hear the slight quiver in her voice when she muttered a contrary, "Whatever," and didn't see her walk to the pool a little tighter than normal, a little quicker than normal, with a hand that could have been pushing hair away seemed to be rubbing something on her face, most likely her eyes. It was most likely that she was crying, which some part of Misty's brain _did _register, but her conscious was much too preoccupied at the moment with getting to Pallet Town.

She would arrive one day before Ash.

That night Mrs. Ketchum would be overcome with the urge, the will to keep Misty in her house no matter what. There was no appealing to her feelings, as Misty was suddenly feeling like she needed to get back to her sisters. The woman smiled, a bit empty in her eyes, and continued to insist that Misty spend the night, that she had to see Ash. Misty was a tad nervous that if she showed up each time Ash came home he would think she was stalking him.

"Stalking him?" chortled the brunette. "What would give him that idea, sweetheart? It's not like you've stalked anyone before."

"I kinda did," Misty admitted guiltily, tracing shapes on the brown wooden table. "You know, that whole…bike thing that I followed him around Kanto and Johto and the Orange Islands and…yeah. I sorta did. So, it wouldn't be that far of a stretch if I showed up at his house. I hope I don't accidently blurt about the bike again. He owes with interest. Mmm-hmm. Yup. Hope I don't do that. I did that a few too many times last time I came here. Remember that? Last time they all split up to take a quick break and I accidentally managed to show up at the same time as him again and when he asked me why I was here I went on a bike rant."

"I don't recall," she said distantly. "You're staying here, aren't you?"

Misty looked up at her slowly, then nodded. "I will. Mostly because you have this weird look, Mrs. K, like you're going to chain me to something if I try to leave."

"Ah, chains," the woman said fondly. "Would you like to hear about the last time I was chained up?"

She arched an eyebrow. "Were you naked?"

"Yes," she said after a guilty pause.

"Then no." Misty resumed her slightly OCD way of stacking her plateful of fries into a pyramid. "Definitely not."

Mrs. Ketchum watched her do this for only a moment, then returned to her kitchen. It was a lovely room, albeit a bit small. It had yellow and white tiles, cabinets stapled to the wall above and below, a sink and a stove relatively close to each other, and a microwave and refrigerator, scraping against one another in a fight to fit in the tiny place. The table didn't help, large enough to seat six and taking up what little space there was. It was amazing how Delia could work through it all, and yet she did.

But something bothered her, a mother's instinct that made her look at the girl, who was, perhaps, a little more controlling than normal with the length she was going to with her fries: first they had been lined up according to height, then stacked into a perfect pyramid (with quite a bit of munching to make the pieces fit), and was now eating them, sure to go in a spiral to the left, smallest to largest, and careful not to disturb the fries below. The redhead did seem to get a bit twitchy when everything wasn't going her way, fits of anger whenever something went beyond her control that led to her doing the tiny things to get the feeling of power back.

"Darling," she said slowly, beginning to rinse a dish in the sink. "You mentioned something about your sisters, earlier, about Daisy. Is there something bothering you about that?"

"No. Why do you ask?" Her head dropped low to the counter and she began to pat and poke her half eaten fry pyramid into its appropriate shape. "And if there was, I don't really want to talk about it. I guess I sort of did, when I first came over, but I don't want to talk about it anymore." She froze and sat up abruptly. "Mrs. Ketchum, do you know what I just did? I built my pyramid with an odd number of fries. I just counted, and, with the ones I ate I had an odd number of fries. Do you have more fries, ma'am?"

Fighting back a laugh, she shook her head, "No, Misty, I don't have any fries. I can't imagine why I thought you had some kind of problem."

Misty sat back and glared, feeling a little off because she really couldn't eat an odd number of fries, then decided: "I'll just rebuild and break one fry in half." She then set about her work, and when Mrs. Ketchum finished, she watched, fascinated, as Misty did all sorts of strange, compulsive things until late at night, when she told Mrs. Ketchum that not only did she have to go to bed at exactly ten, but Delia must be in her bed by that time as well. She agreed, and they did so.

Meanwhile, the three Legendaries began to argue outside the window. After all, craziness like that had to be someone's fault. After much deduction, they decided it was not about willpower, because the girl wasn't forcing herself to sit there and do those things, nor did she seem to be forcing herself to stop. They knew for sure it wasn't about emotions, because Mespirit thought long and hard but simply couldn't think of an emotion that would involve the stacking of fries or the repeated standing up and sitting back down in a chair (because Misty believed she hadn't gotten it right the first eight times). They finally blamed Uxie, partly because they always blamed Uxie because the mind was always the perfect thing to blame. Uxie did admit that there was a little something about a disorder that made people have an uncontrollable need for things to be absolutely perfect, and would repeat a thing until they had gotten it right.

Uxie was then given a major thumbs down for messing up the bride of the Chosen One.

Whereas Uxie argued (and was clobbered for) that he had done great and, within a few repetitive tries, the girl _would _be perfect.

They did take time to notice that the habit was stress related, and she seemed much less prone to these antics when not under an immense amount of pressure. However, once reviewing her memories (because Uxie was good for breaking into people's minds) they learned a very important piece of information: it wasn't merely stress, but emotional distress. After her parent's death, a particularly painful insult, a missing friend or argument she regretted, instead of crying like most she would drown in inane tasks. Again and again she would go through the motions of something that didn't matter because it would get her mind off the topic.

"So," Mespirit chirped. "She in love yet or are we forcing that too? Oh, I could _definitely _do that. That would be fun! Make her fall all over him. It's been a long time since I've done that."

"Hush," Uxie muttered. "Yes, she is in love already. You cannot force her. Yes, I know, don't say it, you _can _force her, but it will not make a good point. She is in a very severe denial of it, and I believe the boy is too. Love…this language needs more words for it. I cannot say love, but more of a crush, per se. Eventually she will fall in love, it is her destiny to continue the line, but at the moment they are young. The affection is just budding. Throwing herself at him would ruin it, Mespirit, it will be much longer before they are ready to mate."

"Hmph. They used to do it early. 'Member Romeo and Juliet? I did that with _so _many couples. You wouldn't believe it! Teens are so easy to manipulate."

Azelf sighed. "What do we do? Will her to express herself? Mess with her brain so she thinks she already did? It all seems so…uncreative."

"I propose we wait," Uxie said, pulling away. "From what I can tell, something will happen. Something always happens to liven things up. Ash might say something stupid. Misty might say something stupid. Stupidity will flow all around and we will have our idea. We merely have to be patient. I am sure whatever comes out of rage from these two crazy children will be much better than anything we might brain storm, and much more appropriate and ironic."

"Irony _is_ funny when it doesn't involve you," Azelf agreed. "But you don't really think something will just…pop up and screw them over, right? How often does that really happen?"

It snorted. "You cannot even begin to ponder. It is simply unfathomable, the irony in this boy's life."

As the clock ticked over to twelve, it was officially the day Ash Ketchum would appear. And, he did appear, much to the Legendaries' delight. He arrived at seven in the morning, waking his mother up while the mentally and physically exhausted girl snored away in his bed, clutching her red bag to her like it was a teddy bear. Dawn and Brock were set up in the guest bedroom (Delia had the strangest urge to keep Misty out of there), Ash wandered into his bedroom, and was about to climb into bed when he spotted the girl, and stumbled back screaming.

The sound jolted her awake as well, and she screamed, sitting up in bed abruptly then freezing, mouth hanging open but sound dying in her throat, just as it had died in Ash's. They gawked for a moment, and Dawn and Brock had thundered down the hall to see what was wrong. Delia was wrapped up in Sir David and his pursuit of Lady Rachel as they began to make love in the enchanted river (she thought it to be quite a lovely romance novel), and honestly didn't care at this point. She was starting to get the feeling her son could not die. Besides, she knew this would be the reaction when her son found a pretty girl in his bed. He never was quite good with his hormones.

"Stalker!" Ash finally managed to gasp.

"No!" Misty defended, shaking her head. "Ash, I swear, I _swear _to you I'm not stalking you! Ooh, I knew this would happen! I came to talk to your mom, right? But she wouldn't let me leave! I would be on my way home right now but your mom insisted I stayed and she wouldn't let me go into the guest room. Man, this probably looks creepy but I'm not a creeper. It's not like I was in here smelling your pillows, which wouldn't work anyway because you haven't been here in forever. I wouldn't ever sniff your pillows though."

She trailed off awkwardly, feeling the blush rise on her face. Brock was smirking in the doorway, and Dawn had put her face into the doorway, unable to hide the shake of her shoulders or the mad giggles trailing out of her mouth. Ash glared, a good natured gleam hiding in the corner of his eye, holding out his hand. "Misty, give me back my pillow."

"I wasn't smelling it!" she protested pathetically, throwing him the pillow anyway and rolling out of his bed. Her face was a dark red by now. "I…I just…dammit, Ash, ask your mother! She'll tell you that I came by because of…because I wanted to talk to her and I said a million times I didn't want to stay because I knew, I _knew _you would think I was stalking you! I'm just going to go back home. I don't know why I didn't in the first place."

She tried to storm past Brock but he caught her up in a hug and twisted her to face Ash. She didn't put up much of a protest, as there was no way she could get to Cerulean at this point. A midnight bus was not the way to keep safe. Instead, she crossed her arms, leaned against the broad rock of a boy behind her, and raised an eyebrow. One leg went over the other. Ash sighed and wondered how to make the moment less awkward.

"Well, Misty, you can't really go home. So you can stay and smell my pillows all you want." Ash shrugged.

Dawn gave another snort of laughter that she attempted to hide, unsuccessfully of course. Misty shrugged off Brock, wildly embarrassed, and toppled into the bottom of the two bunk beds, leaving Ash to use the top. He turned this down, mostly because the glare Misty gave him made him feel like being in a room with her all night would probably lead to him an untimely demise. This was to be avoided at all costs, and everyone managed to avoid the topic the next morning at breakfast. That is, all except Dawn who was left hopelessly giggling into her pancakes.

Every once in a while, Brock or Ash would mutter "pillow" under her breath to really set her off. And Misty, in typical Misty fashion, would stab her food a little harder than necessary and glare at Ash. After the forth "pillow" mutter, she smacked him, hard, and stormed off. Dawn managed to stop giggling after that, and she glared at Ash too, delivering a well deserved kick under the table and returning to her meal.

"What was that for?" he demanded.

"Oh, Ash," she sighed, shaking her head. "It's bad enough that you were making fun of her, but did you have to bring me into it? She was really embarrassed, and there has to be something going on if she doesn't want to be here that badly. You heard your mom this morning. Mrs. Ketchum practically had to throw her into your room to keep her here. She wanted to leave. She wanted to avoid you, and she didn't want you to think she was all creepy and stalking. She feels really bad about it."

He glared at his hashbrowns, pushing them all around his plate. "Well…she does it to me all the time. I don't see why I can't do it back to her."

"She doesn't make fun of you for serious stuff," Brock argued.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Oh, and what do you call her pulling off my hat and searching for the scar where my mother must have dropped my on my head after I lost _six _trainer matches in a row and was feeling really depressed about it?"

The blue haired girl shrugged. "You're a boy, you can handle it."

"Sexist snorlax."

"Mrs. Ketchum!" Dawn complained. "Ash called me a snorlax!"

"Dear, don't call your friends fat," Delia scolded her son. A hand fell to Dawn's shoulder, and the older woman smiled down at her. "Don't worry, sweetheart, you're absolutely beautiful, not fat in the least. Don't go anorexic on me now, or bulimic, one of the few good things I can do in this world is make food for you young travelers, and you better not ruin that by not eating it or throwing it up. I might get so depressed I kill myself, and you wouldn't want me to kill myself, would you?"

She wiggled in her seat. "Uh, no, Mrs. Ketchum, I don't really want you to die."

"That's nice, sweetie." She patted her head and wandered off to do something…something Delia-ish. No one was ever quite sure where she darted off to, it could only be assumed as something motherly or housewife-like, in Brock's fantasies there were occasional lap dances involved, but those were never seriously considered. Odds were that she spent her life in the garden, growing things, because growing things is a very good, safe hobby.

"You should talk to Misty, Ash," Dawn encouraged. "You need to find out what's bothering her. I think there's something wrong between you two, why else would she be so deadest against seeing you again? Wanting to avoid being a burden on your mom, I get, but I don't see why she would try to get out of seeing someone that should be her friend. I would never do that to a friend. But, then again, I would never embarrass one of my friends by making my other friend laugh at the first friend's embarrassment, so maybe the definition of friend is a lot different here."

Ash stared, head cocked to the side, mouth partially open like someone had asked him the square root of four. "Are you trying to imply I'm a bad friend?"

"_No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you but I do bite my thumb,_" she quoted.

"Mom! Dawn's using references nobody understands again!"

"For the love of Mew, Ash," Brock replied hotly, "it's Shakespeare! _Shakespeare_! It's not like we're quoting _youtube_!"

Misty heard all this, and merely continued to flip through the channels. Buy perfume. Flip. Buy fast food. Flip. Buy sexy condoms. Flip. Girls will do you if you wear cologne. Flip. Girls Gone Crazy. Flip. Girls Gone Crazy. Flip. Buy fast food. Flip. Girls Gone Crazy at fast food joint. Flip. And on and on it went, being that glorious time when no show was playing, and there were only commercials to jam the station, crawl into the subliminal part of her mind and most likely make her spend the rest of her day thinking about naked girls and fast food, though she had interest in neither.

"I'm supposed to talk to you," Ash mumbled. "Dawn kept ranting about swearing my love by the moon or something."

"_O, swear not by the moon, the inconstant moon, that monthly changes in her circle orb, lest that thy prove likewise varia._"

He scowled. "Really? _Really_? Do you think I understand what _any _of that means? I heard monthly changes and now all I can think about is you being on your period, which probably explains why you're so touchy. That's why I keep getting new girls, the old ones get their periods and get touchy. You were always kinda touchy, though. You're a really angry person, Mist. Did you start your period before we met, because that would explain an awful lot, because you were pretty constantly mad at me throughout the journey, I don't think it got worse each week or month or whatever, I think you were just always ticked."

She flicked her eyes to him. "Jump off a bridge and die."

"What?" he said indignantly. "I'm just trying to help!"

"You're not trying to help. You're just making joke and being a jerk about it. Y'know, if you don't want to be nice about it, fine. Do whatever you want. Just get away from me. Do you want me to go? Because if you want me to go, I've got no problem going home. I'll punch your mother in the face to get out the door, even though I really like her, because I have to do whatever the Great Ketchum wants, oh yes, the Great Ketchum must have his wishes respected and we must all bow down to him in all his awesomeness."

"I didn't mean it like that." He scowled. "But maybe, y'know, if you weren't so emotional and weren't such a jerk all the time, we wouldn't have this problem, and I'd like having you around instead of fearing that you'll show up at my house again."

She leapt to her feet, thundering, "Plenty of men would be jealous to have a strong, confident woman around! If you don't like that, you don't know how lucky you are! I've gotten so sick of your whining and complaining, Ash! You don't know how good you've got it! If you knew _half _the things I've gone through, that _any _of your friends have gone through because we're stuck with _you _as a friend, you would understand how good you've got it."

"You know what? I wish you were someone different!" he cried. "_Completely._ I wish you were someone different _every day_, because putting up with any side of you for more than twenty four hours just drives me insane! Putting up for four years with a whiny, spoiled brat was bad enough!"

"I…_you_…you little…" she spluttered, balling up her fists. "Me? _I'm _the brat? What about you? If there's _anyone _here who's spoiled, it's _you_. _You're _the only child! I was the youngest of _four_. _Nothing _I own is mine! Not a thing! I've got nothing but hand-me-downs! I've got nothing but pokémon! Even that bike you wrecked was Lily's before it was ever mine! I don't share because I had to fight to get _anything _in that home! I had to fight for _everything _and you say I'm _spoiled._ You don't understand the meaning of the word! If you want the definition, you need to take a step back and look in a mirror for a little while!"

He glared. "I wish you were nice instead…instead of being such a bitch!"

It was the first time he had ever swore. She slapped him for it, probably making it the last time in a long time he would ever do so. She slapped him, and she slapped him hard. That was the only sound in the silent room. The two stood. Misty glared. Ash stared at the floor with a hand to the cheek she had slapped. He wanted to yell at her, wanted to hit her back or call her something worse or do anything to make sure she hurt. Make sure she cried. But he couldn't do it. In fact, contrary to everything he wanted to feel and do, he wanted to cry.

She turned on her heel and left, leaving him staring at the floor, whispering desperately, "I just want you to be _nice_. I don't want you to yell at me. I want you to be _nice._"

And, just outside the window, invisible in their psychic prowess, the three Legendaries cheered for their victory.

"I told you!" Mespirit cried, even though it was a terrible lie. "What did I tell you? They always walk themselves into a trap! They practically set themselves up for it! The stage is ready for its actors! Each day that passes she'll get a new personality, whatever he wants her to be, until he figures out that what he really wants is the original girl, even if she is kinda a bitch. We're going to need to screw with emotions and memories for this one!"

"Can't we just fill 'em with hormones and see what comes from it? You know how funny humans are with hormones."

"No. This is better."

"If by better you mean more elaborate and stupid, then yes. It is better."

"No, it's better as in it's cool awesome, _great _idea that teaches a message."

"At least it'll be funny even if it doesn't work."

"But it _will _work," Mespirit pressed. The other two stared, looking almost amused. "It will! It freaking will!"

And, back inside, to the empty room, Ash spat with the fury that gave him a rush of courage, "Whiny, spoiled brat. I wish she was different every day in every possible way she could be! I can't stand her! I don't know why I even bothered to put up with her for so long! I wish she would just be _nice!_" He stomped his foot. "I _hate _her! I hope she _dies_! When I wake up tomorrow…when I do this whole stupid thing better be a dream!"

"Plan part two," Mespirit chimed.

"We're going to kill her?"

"You, sir, are an idiot."

However, Legendaries can only be so invisible. They have a presence, something that sends a chill, a warning to anything that listens. It makes pokémon cower in their balls, and humans tread likely. It quiets their arguments, and leaves them breathing quickly, but in a distant sense, like watching an action packed movie. Of course, if a couple of humans are too busy screaming, it's possible to ignore such stirrings, no matter how pulling they are. But pokémon find it harder to tune out. And, lucky for Ash, he had a pokémon with him.

(_Be careful what you wish for, Ash,_) Pikachu murmured, shuffling her paws. (_You never know what might be listening._)

Too bad he didn't know what she was saying.

Too bad the troublemaking Legendaries had already gone through with the plans.

Too bad our little dumbass Ketchum has no self control, huh?

**

* * *

**

I do love this. I'm not even kidding. I've been plotting to do this for so freaking long. I have this whole thing plotted, every single one of Misty's mood swings, and I'm hoping I'm not the only one who's gonna enjoy this. –rubs hands together- Let the love/hate/noncommittal silence of the reviewers flow to me.

And, as your final note: What the hell _does _Delia do all day? She doesn't have a job or kids around and apparently doesn't need to shop or clean thanks to Mr. Mime so…I mean, does she just read romance novels all day or…? Gees. If nothing else, review or PM me that because I can't stop thinking about that…


	2. Nice

**Nice**

"Morning, sleepyhead!" Misty giggled, shaking his shoulder. "I'm really sorry to wake you up so early, but your mother just _insisted _that I stop by to help you. I couldn't really have said _no_, could I? I'm not that heartless, at least, I hope I'm not. I really like your mom, Ash, she's a real sweet woman. I can see where you get it from! Oh, goodness, I probably sound like I'm being _such _a kiss up! I'm not trying to be, I promise. I honestly just think you're a really great guy, and your mom is so nice to tend to me after bumping into me in some silly pokémon store! Imagine, what woman would see a little girl crying and invite her into her home? Oh, but you know the story. Sorry to be such a bother!"

He crossed his arms. "You're not funny."

Big, teal eyes blinked. "What?"

"You're not funny. I said that I'd wish you were nice, and now you're pretending to be nice, and it isn't funny. I'm not laughing, and I think it's just stupid. So why don't you just go back to my mom, leave me alone, and take a long walk off a short plank into sharpedo infested waters? And drink some poison just in case." He pulled the covers under his head and bunkered down, grumpy at the sun for getting up earlier than he wanted to and grumpy at Misty for not only trying to start a conversation, but making fun of him to top it off.

He heard the rustle of clothes as she stepped away, and then the plop as she settled down on the bottom bunk. He grinned to himself, because she was sulking because her plan hadn't worked and he had won. Then he frowned. Because she was crying. It wasn't soft crying either, like she was trying to hide it, or loud, exaggerated crying, like she was faking and wanted to be sure he heard. No, it sounded like honest, I-hope-he-doesn't-hear-me-but-I-can't-stop-myself kind of tears. Misty was crying. Misty was _crying _because he told her to _kill herself_. It didn't make any sense at all.

He sat up quickly, flipping half his body over the side of the mattress (and almost taking the other half with him), mouth wide open as he stared at her: genuine sadness, genuine tears. She was either an insanely good actress who decided that crying was now an acceptable show of weakness for a practical joke, or she had some kind of psychological disorder and needed to be rushed to the hospital immediately, because Misty didn't cry. Bother were equally plausible answers. Ash chose answer C, which was that aliens had taken over her body and took the appropriate action: to continue staring until she finally looked at him.

"Oh…oh sorry." She wiped away a tear and sniffed. "Mew, I'm probably bothering you, crying and all. It's not what you said. It's not your fault, so please don't feel bad! I just…I just have something in my eye. No, no, I mean…there's nothing wrong. You don't have to waste any pity on me. I'm sorry for bugging you. I'll make you cookies if you want. What do you like, chocolate chip? Those seem pretty ordinary, but I can make any kind you like! I can make you a cake if you want! Anything to make you happy."

He arched an eyebrow. "I want carrot cake, with red pepper frosting and little caterpie figurines all over it."

Her eyes widened for a second with a kind of primal fear, and the tears came harder, a full out sob now. "Alright! I will if that's what'll make you happy! It might take a while, and I've never made anything like that so it might not taste good, but I promise to try my hardest to make it taste as good as I can! Oh, please don't feel bad Ash! Don't take pity on me! I just want to make you happy! I'd feel so terrible if I couldn't bring a smile to your face! What good is a person if they can't make others happy?"

"I'm dreaming," he concluded. "This is some kind of beautiful dream. Maybe I should give Brock a harem."

"Would that really make him happy?"

He snorted. "You know Brock, anything involving girls would make him happy. Hey, you could even run out to the store and buy him an underwear catalogue and he'd be grateful for weeks! He's not exactly hard to please."

"I've got magazines, and some of them have underwear models in them…I suppose I could go out and buy one with nothing but underwear. I wouldn't want to go halfway, right? Does he like the carrot cake too, or should I make him something else? I don't mind. I really like cooking. Sometimes, people teach me how to cook. I think it may be because I'm so sweet to them!" She gasped and covered her mouth with both hands. "Not that I mean to brag!"

He pinched himself. It hurt. So then he decided to retrace his life. He didn't do drugs. He rarely drank and never got drunk. He never drank medicine. He wasn't aware of any memory loss or crazy dreams, but he guessed he wouldn't really know if he was delusional if he was delusional. From what his delusion (or reality, he wasn't quite sure which anymore) told him, Misty didn't do drugs or medicine or alcohol either. There couldn't be any substances influencing this. It has to be something happy, something wonderful that happened to him since he was such a great guy.

"I've gotta go get Brock!"

And he did, tumbling, stumbling down the stairs he found his ethnic friend and tackled him into the grass, practically shouting with unbridled joy. Brock was not sure how to react to this. Ash normally didn't tackle him, not in any universe, and Ash certainly wouldn't normally hug onto him after such a tackle. He wondered if there was something wonderful going on, like world peace, or a call from the League declaring he was a pokémon master. He kind of hoped there was a sale on chili, and thought there was a good chance there could be, because when one so desperately wants an item (such as dragons or pikachus or chili) one imagines that everyone wants it as bad as they do.

"How many beans does it have?"

"What?"

And by the look on his face, Brock was sure this had nothing to do with chili. He rubbed the back of his neck and muttered a depressed, "Sorry."

"Never mind, listen." Ash took a deep breath and hugged the dark skinned boy even tighter. "Brock, it's a miracle. I made a wish and the wish came true. Misty…she's _nice _now. She's apologizing and sweet talking and being, like, _the _nicest person on the planet. I didn't think I'd ever see the day, but it happened. Brock, it freaking _happened_."

Brock laughed, shaking his head and pushing Ash away. "Yeah, alright. It's _so _weird that Misty's nice."

Ash sat up suddenly, cocking his head to the side. "It's…it _is _weird."

"Misty's always nice. What's so different about it today? Don't tell me you've already forgotten after a few weeks away." He laughed and pushed Ash's head again. "You know, Ash, you got me all excited. I thought there was going to be chili or something, but no. It's just something stupid about Misty being nice. Gees, this is the same girl who once gave the shirt off her back to Team Rocket. Not nice…man, Ash! She's so nice it's completely obnoxious! What is it now? Is she so worried that she offended you she wants to kill herself to spare you anymore trouble?"

Ash rubbed his temples, shaking his head. "No…No, Brock, Misty's mean. Misty's a terrible person. Misty's the first to hit someone or yell at someone or…Brock! We traveled with her for years and all she did was constantly call me stupid and tell me I wasn't any good at training and all that other really terrible stuff. You can't tell me that you don't remember it, Brock! I can't be crazy! I mean, how could I dream up, like, four years of my own personal hell with an angry redhead who likes to hurt me on the inside and out on a daily basis?"

Brock raised an eyebrow. "It sounds like a really weird dream. You didn't eat any of those little sushi roll things Misty made, did you? You know she's not a very good cook and-"

"Well," he muttered to himself, "at least some of the things haven't changed. I wonder what could be going wrong."

(_Oh, I don't know. You could be the Chosen One and a bunch of Legendaries have, once again, decided to screw with your life and fate. Can you talk to pokémon though? No. Of course you can't. Why should _that _helpful trait be added to your arsenal? I mean, it's not like I'm intelligent or anything. It's not like I couldn't have pointed out, oh, I don't know, a few hundred times when I actually _knew _it was Team Rocket. What'd I do though? A few weeks in and I said "screw it". You know why? Because you'll never figure it out._)

"Are you okay, Pikachu? What are you trying to tell me?" He picked up the mouse and glared keenly into its face, but gained no glimmer of understanding from its agitated eyes. "Do you know why Misty is acting so strangely? Can you act it out?"

(_My religion prohibits me from doing so._)

"I have no idea what you just said."

He sat Pikachu down and brushed off his pants, deciding that he had to go find Misty and take advantage of this. He was either delusional now, or would probably fall into the delusion of Misty being evil soon. He had to enjoy it while it lasted, but what could he do? Have her wash his underwear? Make her actually learn to cook? Video tape her crying and sell her tears on the internet? Or maybe he should just do a lot of stupid things around her, and take joy in the fact that she wouldn't be able to make snappy remarks about how absolutely stupid he was. It couldn't have been a better plan.

"Hey, Ash?" Dawn asked, ruining all his schemes. She took him by the hand and led him out to the back of his house, insisting the matter she was about to speak with him about was very, very private. "Listen, I know this is a little awkward, but I wanted to talk to you about Misty. She's been acting really, really nice. Nicer than usual, I mean, because she wasn't ever a _bad _person or anything, but she was never this-"

He sighed with relief. "You noticed it too?"

"It's kind of hard not to. She was always asking to help and stuff, ever since your mom first found her sobbing in that supermarket when you were ten" -there went the hope- "and she's always acted like she's had to pay back this debt she had with you, but it seems different now. I mean, different than it was when I met her all those years ago. I think she…Ash, I think Misty has a crush on you, and I think that's why she's been clinging to you so much and actually suggesting things she can do for you. I mean, she practically charged up the stairs when your mom said she could wake you up!"

"Me n' Misty? Even in this dimension?" he shouted, "That's ridiculous!"

"Even in this…Gees, Ash, you sure are weird today. But, still, I know you would never be into a girl like her. You need someone with more spunk. You need someone who would really push you when you needed it, instead of being a real pushover like she is."

"No, that's _not _what I'd need. I _don't _need a girl like that. If anything, I'd need a girl a lot nicer who wouldn't always make me feel bad or push me around or anything!"

"So you _do _like her?"

"Mewda…no! I don't like her! I don't like her when she's nice! I don't like her when she's nasty! I just don't like her, alright? Stop trying to make me fall in love with her because I won't! I don't love her and I won't ever love her and she doesn't love me either so just stop it! Stop it!" And he stomped his foot a few times for good measure, because foot stomping always helps reassure everyone that this is a very serious problem indeed.

Dawn slapped him, however, and that completely overrode his foot stomping. Her voice dropped low, in that furious motherly tone all women save for occasions like this, and scolded, "Ash _Ketchum_! She's nothing but nice to you! I can't believe you'd be so mean to her! She really likes you Ash, I mean, _really _likes you! Do you know how hard she'd cry if she found out you were talking about her like this? You can't be this harsh with her! You know she can't stand it! If you like her, you need to tell her. If you don't…then try not to mention it. I mean, avoid it at all costs. She really will cry if you say anything."

"Alright!" He held his hands up and took a huge step back. "I won't! It's just…I know it's hard to believe, but I'm completely convinced, that up until today, Misty was a mean, sarcastic, manipulating girl who made my life miserable for years. I don't know why, but it seems like everyone else forgot about it except for me. It's like something out of the _Daylight Place_. You know, that weird show where all the weird things happen?"

"Do I need to call someone?"

"No! No! You don't need to call anyone!" he insisted, waving his hands out in front of him. "I just have to enjoy that Misty's so…nice now."

She grinned slyly, holding up a finger. "Well, if you really want to enjoy it we could always set up a date for the two of you. You could go out to dinner together and _she'll _end up paying and _she'll _be super nice to you and you can even go to the movies and just sit in silence. I think you two would make a cute couple, you probably just need to get into the right mindset. Maybe I could even toughen Misty up a little so she'd be a better girl for you."

Ash snorted. "Yeah. Sure. Set up a date! Set up a whole mess of dates! I'll watch all the movies in the theatre! Dinner and a movie! That sounds _great_, especially if Misty ends up paying for all of them. I wouldn't mind going steady at all."

"Seriously? I'll hold you to it if you say yes!"

"Sure, why not?"

(_And this is an example of _foreshadowing. _Foreshadowing is basically a major plot point that's hinted at early on, and then comes back with a vengeance somewhere in the story. In this case, the story is Ash's life, and I have a feeling that the listening Legendaries are _probably _good enough storytellers that they're going to have fun with foreshadowing. Remember to _not _be an idiot, and never agree to something unless you fully understand the conditions._) Pikachu wasn't quite speaking to anyone, not unless she had decided to break down the fourth wall, so her advice went unheeded by her human companion.

So Dawn sent Ash upstairs, telling him _he _had to be the one to tell Misty they would be going on a date that night. Ash wasn't too keen about that, as he was slightly afraid that she was going to be overly exciting or burst into tears from the pressure or, even worse, be completely calm about it though he was freaking out. Not that he was freaking out because he _liked _her or anything, because that would be silly. And it definitely wasn't because he'd never technically had a date before, because that was just plain silly too.

"Hey, Misty, I was wondering if you'd like to go on a date with me tonight."

The redhead froze in her cleaning, which was nice, because it let Ash absorb the fact that Misty was cleaning. After all, Misty didn't clean. She kept her own things cleaned, but she never went out of her way to do chores, certainly not for fun. Yet, there she was, scrubbing an ancient stain out of the carpet. It also gave him time to note that she was apparently _good _at cleaning, because both his mom and the crazy Mr. Mime had attempted to remove the spot to no success, and she was managing it in less than, what, twenty minutes or less?

"You…you want to go on a date with…with _me_?" she asked, a heavy blush rising in her cheeks. "You…you want to…oh _wow_. Oh _wow_, Ash, yeah! I mean, yes, not yeah. Yeah is disrespectful. Yes. I would love to go out on a date with you tonight. That'd be…that's just great. I'll pay, so you don't have to worry about money! Oh, _wow_. Thanks so much!"

"You don't need to thank me. I just thought that…" He trailed off, and focused intensively on the stain. "That's really coming right out, isn't it?"

"It took a second, but once I figured out it was grape juice I knew exactly what it took. How'd you manage that stain anyway, Ash? You're usually not all that messy, except when it comes to your clothes, but I don't wash those." And she blushed yet again, whether she was thinking about his underwear or imagining some kind of nice girl fantasy where she got to organize his lights from his darks, he'd never know.

"It came from…" _We were fighting about who was taller. It was the first time you came to my house, and Mom had set me off by laughing about how much shorter I was. That night, when I brought it up, that was when the fight started, and we stood up and we got too close. I got flustered, because I'd never been that close to a girl before and I stumbled back and the juice fell off the counter I hit and all over the floor. I didn't tell Mom. She found it weeks later, so the stain had set. She was mad. _"I don't remember."

"Well, at least it's not too tough to get out!" she chirped. "Unlike the stains on your pillow. When was the last time you washed it? It looked _disgusting _and it smelled even worse."

"Yeah, at least there's that." There was a lump in his throat, and it was very hard to swallow, so he left her there cleaning.

He turned that over in his mind until the date, because he shouldn't have gotten worked up over a _stain_. It was just a bit of grape juice. Who _cared _if he was the only one who remembered? After all, it's not like his throat had gotten all tight or his stomach had gotten fluttery because Misty was such a girl when he was that close. She was Misty, but when he was just an inch away she was a girl with big greenish blueish eyes and lips and…it was just a stain. A stain wasn't a memory, anyway, so it shouldn't matter. He didn't care about the stupid stain.

"So, dinner or movie first?" Misty asked excitedly, hands fidgeting in her now loosened hair. The hair warranted a look, but only that. It didn't look right, well, it didn't look like Misty, not with a look that…encouraging, he guessed. Maybe idolizing was a better word. It was creepy for sure, that big smile and those seemingly larger eyes looking at him like he was some sort of god or father figure. Definitely creepy.

"Uh, dinner. We can go to a burger place, if that's okay." He was asking Misty if something was okay. He was getting much to used to this new version much too quickly. He couldn't possibly actually…well, she couldn't be the real version, could she? How could he have dreamed up all those years and not remembered any of these? "Or maybe we can just grill something on the barbeque and go camping."

"You know I don't like camping, Ash. I think it's much better to leave the pokémon on their own in their natural habitat. I respect your decision as a trainer, but you know how cruel I find it to have pokémon battle. You know how much I hate any kind of violence. You're not going to take me to a violent movie, right? I don't think I could stand it."

He snorted. "You're a gym leader and you don't like training, sure."

"I'm _not_ a gym leader." Here her tone got just a little bit hot, "I _told _you I swore it off. That's why I was crying when your mom first found me, because my sisters wanted me to be a leader but I couldn't figure out what to do! You know this, Ash, but you've been acting so weird all day. It's like you just got dropped in from an alternate dimension or something. You're asking if I was nice, making me do things you know I don't like, and then you go and ask me out! I just don't understand."

"That makes two of us."

Misty not battling? It didn't make any sense. Misty was practically built on battling. That was what she did, plain and simple. She was a fighter. Always a fighter. She was the last one standing, always got an extra punch in when she could. She wasn't the kind of girl who sat around and tried to talk people out of fighting. She didn't stage a peaceful protest, but went in and did something rash, probably something that did more harm than good but did _something_. The thought of her sitting in a circle, hands laced with other peace loving people just…baffled him. It wasn't bad, he guessed, but it sure wasn't her.

They finally decided on a casual burger joint. He had to order for her, because she spent too much time trying to figure out how not to impose on the waiter or him or how not to be a glutton or eat too little and just all in all be the perfect little girl. It really freaked him out, her constantly thinking about how to please everyone, and he was quite sure he was going to throw a fit if she spent anymore time being that radically nice.

"Hey, Misty," he said, watching her primly cut her burger as he had long finished his. "I understand that you want to…be nice to everyone, but don't you think you should try being yourself a little more? You can't tell me that there's not any…rage underneath that happy go lucky exterior? Sometimes when I look at you, I can't help but think that, you know, there might be a little bit of…I don't know, a really angry girl?"

"Don't be silly." She giggled. "Why would I be angry underneath?"

"Well, your sisters for one."

Her knife hesitated, just for a second as it slid through the beef, then continued its way down. She gave him her best smile, shook her head in a very condescending way, and popped the piece into her mouth. He stared at her, very, very hard while she chewed, until she finished and she finally continued. "I don't know what you may have heard, Ash, but my sisters and I get along just fine. We're very, very close."

"Did you ever tell me what you were crying about that day?"

"What day?"

"The day my mom found you? That infamous story? Don't tell me nobody bothered to check what you were crying about! They just brought you home without asking? Well, if nobody was curious then, I'm curious now. Tell me why you were crying. It's not your _sisters_, right, since you get along so well with them? Don't tell me! You stubbed your toe? Heard about a lost Meowth? What is it, if it isn't your sisters?"

"It's none of your business, that's what," she said, and it was awfully snappy, awfully Misty-like the way she said it, but she was back to her cheerful self in no time, smiling and brushing her hair out of her eyes. "I'm done eating now. Let's go see that movie. I hear there's some cute chick flick out, if you want to see it."

She gave him a smile, the kind he remembered. It was the one she used when she wanted to talk people out of things, to change the subject, to get her way. It worked every time. Even now, even though he told himself very strongly that it wasn't like this was Misty, this was nice Misty and he didn't even _know _nice Misty. That meant it was impossible for that upward turn of her lips to drag him in so that his head felt much to light and his mouth to dry and he would do damn near _anything _just to make her smile like the way she was right now…but it wasn't impossible, and he couldn't help but smile back.

"Chick flicks are funny."

The chick flick they watched was funny, but he couldn't help but compare this new Misty to the old Misty once again. Old Misty talked at the screen, openly mocking any flaw she found or squealing over how romantic it all was. New Misty sat in silence, munching on some kind of healthy gummy candy. Old Misty would have shared popcorn with him and Brock, slathered in fake butter and the flavored salt they kept up at the counter. Most importantly, Old Misty would have laughed with him at the funny parts. New Misty simply gave a quiet little smile and nodded, as if to agree with the audience that it was quite the funny film.

"You don't laugh either?" Ash muttered.

"I just find it rude. If I laugh too long, someone might miss the next line in the movie, and that'd be terrible for them. I'm just having a bit of common courtesy. I understand if people want to laugh, and if something's really funny I can't help it, but you shouldn't laugh too loud or too long. You'll just annoy the other people in the movie theatre. They paid, just like I did, to see the movie. I can't take that away from them."

"It's a comedy. People know you're going to laugh. The movie knows. That's why they pause in the movies, so you can laugh. You don't need to…"

He sighed, sick of it all and shook his head. This wasn't anything like he imagined it would be. He guessed he thought nice Misty…well, Misty could be nice, couldn't she? He liked those little moments when she was nice. He just thought it'd be like that all the time. A happier, cheerful Misty. He didn't think she would be insanely self conscious or ridiculously sweet. Even if she was, he guessed it was weird. She wouldn't even get mad when she was mad. It made him feel weird, like she belittling him with her calm, smiling exterior.

He laughed extra loud and extra loud for the rest of the movie, even though it really wasn't that funny. He also laughed at parts that weren't supposed to be all that funny, and though he thought he might have been imagining it, he could have sworn he saw a few glares cast his way, not just by everyone around him but by the now angelic redhead sitting next to him. She was mostly cheerful, and when the movie finally ended she had somehow managed to return to her ridiculously perky self.

"That was such a great night. Dinner was delicious and the movie was fantastic. Oh, Ash, I had such a great time tonight! Thanks so much for taking me out. I don't know what got into you, but I sure am glad it did."

He humored her, said a few things about how great it was to hang out with her too, and led her back to the house, into his room, and left her there. She wanted to turn in early, since nice girls always did, and he was just fine with that. He couldn't take much more of her. Gees, she was so _annoying_. You couldn't talk to her because she didn't have anything to say. Her whole life was spent making everyone perfectly happy. Could he really spend the rest of his life listening to her tell him how great it was to help others?

Not, he corrected, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. He imagined that they'd drift apart some day, and it'd be casual and he wouldn't think about her because he would have a great life as a pokémon master and she…he never much thought about what she did, but she'd be happy. She'd be with some rich, romantic guy and they'd each be happy, even though thinking about her with that rich, romantic guy made his stomach twitch. He could be a rich romantic guy…not that he wanted too, he'd just be better at it than anyone else was all.

So Ash crashed on the couch with Dawn and Brock, both of them prodding him about his date. He explained to them that it sucked, and he really didn't want to go out with her again. They laughed and asked how far he got, what they did, if they spent the night making lovey-dovey eyes at one another. He continued to explain how much it sucked, and, eventually, they figured out that he wasn't joking, it really did suck, and there was no way to get any fun out of it. They went to sleep, Ash stayed on the couch with Pikachu.

In fact, Ash fell asleep on that couch, petting his mouse all along, and whispering, "You know what would make Misty better?"

(_Don't make a wish, Ash. Please don't,_) Pikachu begged, useless as she knew it was.

"If she was just sarcastic every once in a while."

(_Oh, thank _Me-)

"I wish she was just sarcastic."

(_If I didn't love you so much, I would hate you. I really would._)

**

* * *

**

Ash, you brainless buffoon! What silly antics have you gotten up to now?

So, chapter two of ten, hopefully will be updated Sundays, and I hope you enjoy.

Question of the Week: If any of you have seen that episode where Ash gets possessed by the king guy, yeah, I was just wondering about how Ash continued to battle. I mean, I know the boy is stupid, but don't you think it's pushing it that he's in this weird, dark space, unable to control his body, and he decides to ignore all this and battle for a medal thingy? Really? That almost sounds like a bashing fic kind of plot. All it's missing is Ash's death.


	3. Sarcastic

**Sarcastic**

"Well, Sleeping Beauty, you look _so _pretty on that couch it's _all _I can do to keep from kissing your feminine lips," Misty said, quite sarcastically. The author is going to break this lovely fourth wall, just for a moment, to inform the readers that she would appreciate it if they used their intelligence for just a bit. This is the chapter on sarcasm, and since Misty is going through the changes and she has already pointed out her sarcastic nature, she would appreciate it if you could take it in stride that everything Misty says this time around is sarcastic, unless noted otherwise.

Ash blinked his eyes open, and found Misty bending over the back of the couch, peering at his face with one eyebrow raised. He glanced down at himself, slowly taking everything into consideration. He was fully clothed, which was nice, and he wasn't in his pajamas or in a bathing suit, which was fantastic. Nothing was sticking out, nothing was wet, in fact, it did honestly look like he was just laying down for an afternoon nap on the couch, except he was pretty sure he had spent the night down here instead of just a snooze.

"I think I had a really weird dream," he told her. He decided that it had to be a dream, because Misty was quite obviously back to her old self. She wasn't all creepily nice, and she did have a look in her eye that said she was looking for some competition. Although she was probably aiming for wits instead of pokémon to battle at the moment, a fight was a fight, and nice Misty didn't like fighting.

"You've always been _so_ good at thinking."

"You were nice, in my dream. It was really weird. You didn't like to battle or anything. I wouldn't mind you being that nice, but you'd definitely have to keep battling, and you wouldn't be allowed to cry when I beat you." He settled back into the couch and flicked his eyes over to the clock hanging on the wall. It was seven. If he was traveling, he probably would have been up way before it, but he wasn't, and he was planning to sleep until night, wake up for a few hours, and then sleep again.

Usually, she would care a lot more, want to wake him up and tease him…but she didn't. She walked away, head dizzy and heart pounding. Misty felt…weird, to say the least. Her brain was pulsing, twisting and turning in on itself, questioning everything. When had she met Ash? What was her relationship with her sisters? With Mrs. Ketchum? Brock? Ash? There were answers for all of them, but they were filled with holes and gaps, plain illogical in some places. If she was always sarcastic, how could her sisters so often win the verbal spars? If she wasn't anything but sarcastic, she was nothing but mocking them. There weren't any points they could argue because she didn't _make _any.

Meanwhile, Dawn walked by the other way, chirping a polite "hello" to Misty as she went. She could have sworn she heard the redhead whisper something, sounding frightened and nervous and what's more _genuine_, but that couldn't possibly be Misty. Misty was sarcastic. Misty was strong and biting in everything. But surely…it was impossible for a person to never be sweet, never be kind, never have a moment of weakness or compassion?

"Golly gee, _Uxie_," Mesprit snapped. "You've done _such _a great job screwing with all their heads. Ash can remember freaking everything, Misty's fighting her way through, and even Dawn's trying to figure it all out! She's not even getting all that much screwed with! Why the hell would _she _care? Arceus must have had something else on its mind when it went and made you, because you're nowhere near Legendary level. Gees, you _suck_!"

Uxie straightened, looking rather peeved. "Now, listen-"

"_Suck!_"

"Mesprit!" Uxie demanded, shaking up the other Legendary with a strong Confusion. "You dolt! You have no idea how impossible this is! I cannot delete everything from their minds or there will be nothing to return when this ends. They would be nothing but empty shells! That, or I would have to recreate their entire lives! That is _extremely _time consuming and I shall not waste any moments with it! Everything is going just fine, thank you. And Ash is _supposed _to remember."

"We did agree on the Ash remembering part," Azelf said helpfully, except it wasn't very helpful and it only succeeding in angering Mesprit further. In fact, Mesprit was so infuriated that it teamed up with a few other Legendaries, came to the planet Earth, and robbed a few ancient peoples of their emotions who would later be known throughout history as _stoics_. This only took a few moments thanks to time travel and Azelf could continue, "But it would be ridiculous to deny that, well, something's going wrong. They're all pushing through."

Uxie sighed, rubbing its temples. "Understandable. Azelf, if you wouldn't mind alternating a few wills so they don't try to-"

"That probably isn't the best idea. Wills are tricky, and anything I do I always make sure it'd be okay if they were to stay that way forever. Or, you know, if I'm doing a good old fashioned smiting and that sucker becomes soulless forever. The point is that they generally end up running into things that possess and hypnotize and all that, and it'd be awfully sad if the next time that happens they've got no way to fight their way out."

Mesprit moaned. "All we're good for is _smiting_! We can't help anyone! Ooh, I can't believe we got mixed up in all this love stuff! Ooh! You know what I should have done? Just made them have sex. That's how you solve all this stuff. Then they could have had an illegitimate love child which would be a fantastic setting for the next Chosen One. Yeah, maybe Ash might have to die because you can't have more than one Chosen One at a time, but humans aren't really alive anyway. I mean, when you're that powerless and stupid-"

"I'm going to have to call you out on the stupid, since you can't even seem to remember the day before yesterday."

"Well I-"

"I will strengthen it a bit. Build the walls thicker, if you would. But I do not want to tamper with anything to severely, and by the time this is over they will remember everything. It cannot be too long. No more than two weeks or everything is finished. We will have to move onto Plan B at that point. Mesprit seems more than happy to do its part in the relationship. Hey, even if it all does go well you can at least participate in the making of the next Chosen One."

The creature sighed and used its psychic powers to send a rock flying a little ways, as if kicking it. "Alright. It's not the same as doing it now, and your plan _can _be fun for me too, right?"

"He's a sixteen year old boy," Azelf contributed. "At some point, it has to get fun for everyone."

So walls were strengthened, and although there was a tension in the air, and everyone _knew _on some level that something wasn't right, things continued to go as planned. Dawn prepared for contests; Brock cooked and cleaned and did some disturbing flirting with Delia; Ash trained his pokémon because, well, everyone was yelling at him to do so and there wasn't anything on TV. Misty filled the day with sarcastic remarks, and it was surprisingly late in the day when Ash finally figured out that the remark he had made last night and Misty's behavior that day were matching up perfectly.

"Pikachu, I think something weird is going on. Last night I wished Misty was sarcastic, and today she's sarcastic. I mean, two days before today I said that I wished she was nice and she _was_. But it's not the normal nice or sarcastic like you would expect, but the ridiculously nice and sarcastic, like someone's taking a wish way too far and trying to teach me a lesson. You know, it almost makes me wonder if this is all the work of Walt Dis-"

(_Can you understand me? I mean, at all. In all these years do you really only understand the words 'Ash', 'trouble', 'Misty', 'Brock' and 'ketchup'?_)

"You think that for me to get Misty out of trouble I should talk to Brock, and you should get ketchup for telling me this?" Ash grinned and rubbed her head. "You definitely deserve a treat for that, but what if whatever's doing this gets to him too? I mean, normally Brock would believe me if I told him about anything, but if he's getting messed with his head, like Misty is, then there's no way talking to him is going to help."

(_I love you, Ash. Do you know how many times I have to tell myself _every day _that I love you so I don't kill you? It's a _lot _Ash. It's a freaking lot._) She nuzzled into his palm, gave it a quick lick, then rushed off to find Brock with Ash trotting along behind her. She figured that Brock wouldn't be able to help much more than she would, but she guessed that trying would be better than just sitting back and hoping for the best. If he was going to get through this he was going to need some help.

But they didn't run into Brock, because that would be much too easy for them so early on. They hardly had thirty percent of the crazy thing done! No, instead they ran into the feisty redhead who only seemed feistier today. In fact, even her outfit changed today. Perhaps it was the stronger walls, but Misty was covered pretty nicely now. Long jeans, a hoodie (with the hood pulled up) despite the fact that it was boiling outside. There was nothing to give her, appearance wise, and nothing to be returned. Symbolic, he supposed, if he could try and use symbolism.

"Nice day, huh, Misty?" Ash said, trying to be as pleasant as he could. This mostly consisted of him smiling very widely, raising his voice higher, and standing a little higher. This simply made him look creepy, and not at all pleasant.

"Yeah. It's a friggin' _great _day. I might go outside and pick flowers." She seemed to be looking down, her hands concealed in the front pocket of her hoodie. He wasn't sure, but her shoulders appeared to be hunched, way different from her usual tall, straight backed pasture.

"You should be nicer to me. I don't have a dad."

"_Real _sad, Ash. I'm crying for you." She glared at him, flipping her head fast enough that the hood fell off. "It'll be just _great _if you stand around here all day, looking like a complete dumbass. It's not like I have anywhere to go or anything to do. I mean, like I said before, it's said a great day that I might go outside and pick some flowers. I'll make a crown for you. Ash Ketchum, king of the stairway!" She raised her voice a lot higher now. "Oh, your majesty feel _free _to dawdle!"

Then calmly shoved past him on the way down the stairs. She shoved him hard too, his shoulder aching quite a bit afterward. He wasn't sure if sarcasm made you mean, or if it just happened to make you sound that way. Then again, Misty was mean to begin with and the sarcasm just made it worse. It would have been nice if Misty had kept some of that niceness from yesterday, but he guessed that it was slightly impossible to be both sarcastic and kind at the same time.

He was musing about this, his thoughts running into other impossibilities such as _this statement is false_, _I always lie_, and _all Kantonians _(natives of Kanto, of course) _are liars_ for quite a while after she had gone. These statements always made his head hurt, but he couldn't help himself from thinking about them, as they were much too interesting. He was just about to discover if today really was opposite day when he ran into Brock.

"Hey, Brock. Is today opposite day?" he asked once he had picked himself up from the floor.

"Yes."

"That means it _isn't _opposite day."

"Then no."

"But Brock, there's no way for me to know because if today was opposite day you'd have to tell me no and if it's not opposite day then of course you'll say no! I mean, at least asking someone is a little more likely, but no one can say _today is opposite day _and have it be a true statement because it just doesn't work! Paradoxes really suck, Brock. I don't understand them at all. Do you want to talk about that, or would you rather just go downstairs and play some video games or…huh, I think I was supposed to talk to you about something."

Brock shrugged. "You probably forgot, but I could use some video games."

"I'll probably remember after a couple of rounds of a shooting game," Ash agreed, nodding.

Pikachu began to scream at Ash, a long string of words that would best not be repeated, as they were terrible insults and curses. The mouse could only stand so much before she cursed. Typically, these things were either already explained to Ash (very clearly so there would be no confusion…except for that prophecy thing) or very hard for everyone to guess at and then luckily stumbled upon and then explained. Since there was no one to explain and the answer was blaringly obvious, there was really nothing left to do but scream at people until they tried to figure it out.

As cynical a thought as it was…it worked.

"Oh! Oh, duh. Sorry. Right." Ash laughed nervously, rubbed the back of his neck as he so often did, then continued as seriously as he could, "Brock, I have something very weird to tell you, and you're probably not going to believe me and by this time tomorrow you won't remember anything at all about what I'm about to tell you but I think you need to know on the really, really, really, really, _really _slim chance you can help me out."

"You're the Chosen One, Ash. We've traveled through time and saved the world countless times, ran into ghosts and psychics and supervillians. There's nothing you could tell me that I wouldn't believe at this point."

Ash took a deep breath, speaking as slowly and precisely as he could manage without sounding that he was (as impossible as it can be to imagine a scenario when he would have to) dumbing himself down: "Depending on what I want her to be, Misty changes her entire personality every twenty four hours. I don't know why it's been happening, but this is the second day that it's happened. Each time it does, everyone's memories except mine are warped to make them think that Misty has always been whatever her new personality is. Are you still with me, or are you going to lock me up?"

"It won't matter in twenty four hours anyway, will it?"

"No. Probably not."

Brock sighed and leaned against the wall, rubbing his temples. "Ash, I can't tell you that I think you're making all this up. It wouldn't make any sense that you would, and it's not like it's out there compared to some of the other things we've run into. For heaven's sake, several people have been possessed around us. _You've _been possessed without knowing it. For you to know that something's wrong means it's probably pretty big."

"She was _nice_ yesterday," Ash said. "She was _really _nice. She tried to figure out how not to offend the waiter when she ordered. She cleaned my room and my _pillow_. She got stains out form my rug! She wanted to cook and buy dirty magazines for you, Brock. I'm promising you that was what she was like yesterday. Before all that, I've seen her be sincere and jealous and nice, more than just sarcastic. Two days ago this wasn't Misty. Two days ago, Misty was really, really bitchy but nowhere near as bad as she is right now. I mean, compared to this, she was normal."

"This is really simple and that's why it's so hard for me to believe."

Ash groaned. "I _know _it's hard to believe but I can't give you any kind of proof! Everyone has had their mind's wiped except me, and there's no way for me to even know if it isn't really my memory that's been toyed with. I mean, everyone else seem pretty solid in their beliefs that absolutely nothing's changed."

"What stain did she get out?"

"That set in grape juice stain from forever ago," Ash mumbled. "You probably don't remember."

"By the bunk bed?"

"Yeah, that's the one."

"The one I won't remember?"

"Yeah." Ash sighed, seeming very depressed, and Brock waited. There were very few times with Ash that it was better to wait for him to figure something out than to just explain it to him, as it typically took an awful long time for him to figure it out. This was probably half because Ash never really thought about what he said and he never really remembered what he said. Still, it was expected that he would sooner or later he would figure it out, and there were few moments when seeing the expression on his face would be worth the five to twenty minutes it would take for him to figure something out.

His eyes lit up and, as he was already standing and he couldn't jump to his feet, gave a little joyful jump as he shouted, "Brock! You remember the stain! I can just show it to you and prove it and then we'll know that my story has some basis! Unless…unless it's still there because they fixed that too or it turns out that I'm just crazy."

Brock insisted that they try and off they went to Ash's room. Into the corner, right by the bed, they stood shoulder by shoulder, staring down at the spot. That little bit of grape juice, spilled thanks to Ash's nervous encounter of hormones, was gone. The feeling that he was right was great, that he wasn't crazy and that Brock could now _help _him figure out what to do, but that the stain was missing…how many nights had he laid awake, staring at the corner and the stain if only because he had nothing better to do? How many times had that memory come whizzing back whenever he saw it, and filled him with that warm fuzzy feeling.

"It isn't here," Ash said finally, his mouth dry. "She definitely cleaned it up yesterday. That's…there's no stain. You have to believe me now, don't you?"

He nodded slowly, looking at Ash from the corner of his eye, then slung a comforting arm around him. "Ash, I'm telling you right now that I have no idea how to stop whatever's happening right now. I don't _know _what's happening. This could be anything from Team Rocket to some kind of Legendary pokémon, there's no way to know. But I'm pretty sure there's a very simple solution."

"What?"

"If Misty becomes whatever you wish her to be each day, instead of wishing she was nice or sarcastic or whatever you could just wish that Misty was…well, can't you just that Misty was Misty and you wouldn't have this problem? You'd get the old Misty back and as long as you don't make anymore wishes as to what she should be she should stay the same. And, if you ever do accidentally wish her into a personality, you can just wish her back again. Easy!"

"No!" Ash shouted, stumbling away. "Why would I do that? Brock I…I could have her be _anything _if I figure this out. Do you get that? The Misty from before was terrible! She hit me and called me names and she never shut up! Ugh, she was so stubborn too! I mean, she was too nice yesterday, but if I pick the right personality I could make her perfect! It's better for her too, right? I mean, who wouldn't want to be perfect?"

Brock shrugged. "Maybe Misty. I can't remember, but do you know whether or not she was happy with who she was? I mean, what she thinks is perfect…shouldn't she get to decide who the perfect her is? You don't own her. She's her own person, and if she has as much…uh, _spunk _as you say she does, do you think that she could really hate herself, completely, I mean? She definitely has the courage to change if she wanted to."

"Well, she doesn't have to live with her," Ash argued weakly. "She…she's just…I'm the Chosen One anyway! She was always mean to me and she never did anything nice and she was never a good person! Never! Maybe this is what she deserved for always being so cruel! Maybe all this is happening to _her_! Have you ever thought of that? Maybe _I'm _supposed to help her see the error of her ways!"

Brock glared. "I don't see how that would be the case, since _you're _the only one who remembers anything."

He moaned and dropped to the bottom bunk, putting his head in his hands. "I don't know, Brock. I don't know. But…I can't just wish her back. I…I just _can't_. I'm just so angry at her, more and more every time I see her. I just wish she'd go _away_. She already went away, so I don't understand why she can't just go away for good! And…and it's not like that idea would work anyway. It's too simple. Nothing's ever that simple, especially when it comes to stuff like this."

"Was she really as bad as you say she was?"

"We kept trying to ditch her when we first met her, Brock. I mean, she had her moments but…she's terrible, Brock. Misty's just a really terrible person, and she's only been getting worse lately. I swear, ever since she left the group it's just been getting harder and harder to stand her."

It was at that perfectly timed moment that the hoodie clad Misty stormed past the door and raced down the stairs, obviously having heard Ash's bitter insults. The boy, moaning again, told Brock that he had to go and chased after her. She wasn't anywhere downstairs, and when he went outside Dawn informed him that "she ran off crying that way", to which he let out another very loud groan and chased her down the road, Pikachu hot on his tail.

"Misty!" he shouted as he caught up with her. "Misty! I swear I didn't mean it!"

She spun around, eyes a little red but free of tears. "Oh, _sure _you didn't, Ash! You were just trying out for some play that _happens _to have people named Misty and Brock! It doesn't matter, because I have _so _many friends it's not like I need another one! It's not like you and Brock are the only ones I have! Sorry for the misunderstanding, Ash. I know that you like me so much, I'll be sure to stay around for a while."

"I don't know what came over me," he insisted, grabbing at her elbow. "Please. Don't go back to Cerulean."

"Why do you care if I leave?" she snarled, simply angry and no longer sarcastic now. Her upper lip curling away from her teeth, she continued, "You didn't care the first time, so why would you care now? Just go back to your stupid house and leave me alone. I don't want to hang out with you anymore."

He smiled nervously. "I know you didn't mean the last one."

"Sure I didn't," she snapped, back to her sarcastic self.

"Well…what if…what if I make it up to you?" Ash asked suddenly, hoping that sarcastic Misty harbored the same feelings as the nice one. "How about I take you out tonight? Dinner and a movie. We can go out for burgers and see…see a horror movie. You're into those, right? It'll be on me. You won't have to pay for _anything_, not even snacks. If that doesn't prove I want to be your friend, I don't know what will."

"Yeah, because I'd _love _to go to the movies with a jerk like you."

"You would," Ash insisted, "And you'll be going at seven. Sound good?"

She grunted and stormed back to the house, and Ash took that as a yes. After all, it wouldn't be hard to come up with a sarcastic way to reject him, she'd done it once already, and he couldn't help but feel a bit cocky now. Still nervous about the new Misty, but he had his first date already under his belt, and you weren't supposed to kiss until the third date anyway, so he wouldn't have to worry about that either.

He didn't bother dressing up, since it was still only Misty, and he was relieved when he came down and found her relaxing on the couch in the same clothes she was wearing earlier. It was just like a night out with the whole group…except Brock wasn't there and everyone kept giggling obnoxiously and trying to hide that fact that they were doing so. They both blushed (as it's hard not to when people are laughing at you) and hurried out the door as quick as they could.

At the burger joint, the same one Ash had gone to yesterday, Misty simply pointed at the menu and pushed it his way, making him order for both of them. She ended up with some strange burger with mystery sauce while he stuck to the same cheeseburger he had last night. Thankfully, this Misty ate normally (albeit with her hood up) and almost as quickly as he did. Best of all, they managed to have some pleasant conversation.

"Are you going to take over the gym soon?" he asked.

"_No_. I'm just going to give it all to my sisters after I worked so hard for it." And she plunged a french fry in her milkshake

"Taught you to do that," he said quietly, dipping his own in.

The good news was that this Misty battled, and they were able to talk about that for most of the night. Well, it was mostly him talking with her nodding or making biting comments, which was a bit of a downer, but it was definitely better than nice Misty. He guessed the normal Misty would have had a nice conversation. They could still learn a decent bit of pokémon facts and tricks from one another, especially with new strategies being discovered each day.

They each had snacks and split a popcorn (quite successfully, without a single incident of awkward hand touching) quite happily, and he actually enjoyed the horror movie with her. He got more scared than she did, but he knew he wouldn't be having any nightmares with the humorous sarcastic comments she mumbled to him and the screen. There was nothing better than a stupid girl hearing heavy footsteps, asking if it was her boyfriend, and the redhead next to him snickering a sarcastic innuendo.

"Having fun?" he asked as they both shielded their eyes form a particularly disgusting (and long) murder.

"No, I'm having a _terrible _time." But she was giggling and smiling, and he could've sworn there was a light blush across her nose. "You can tell by the way I'm laughing at the oh-so-intelligent girls who just got stabbed _again_. But I can't be too mean, you know it's awfully hard to get away from a guy with a _giant wooden leg _slowing him down."

A few of the people in the theatre shushed them, though that only made them laugh harder. They couldn't stop until the flashlight carrying employee came in, shining the flashlight directly at them with a warning look. Getting thrown out wasn't part of the ideal date, so they quieted down and kept their jokes and laughter as silent as they could. The movie wasn't anything special, just the typical slasher with no surprises or twists. The acting wasn't very good, the plot was pathetic, and they left it so obviously opening they were practically begging for a sequel. All in all, it was a good night to be sarcastic.

As they were walking back to the house, Ash said, "You know, I had a really great time tonight."

"Well, don't _you _sound like it was everything you expected it to be."

"Sorry, but…I don't know. I thought, after today, you would spend the night glaring at me or testing me…you know, trying to…you know." He laughed. "I thought you'd hate me all night instead being a…a great date. Because you _were, _Misty. I had a _really great _time with you. Out of everything I could have asked for, I never would have imagined that you'd be the one I liked best, but you're a lot of fun."

She blushed and laughed and tripped a bit as she walked. "Sure, and there's _nothing _you wouldn't change and there's _nothing _you don't want me to do for you and this _isn't _just a make-up date so I wouldn't run back to Cerulean."

"That didn't have to be sarcastic. It's true."

She gave a loud snort. "Oh, _really_. I'm just so perfect that there's nothing you would change about me, because a sarcastic boyish looking redhead is everyone's dream."

He shrugged, twirling a bit as he walked and staring up at the sky. "Well, if there's anything I would have to change…I don't care about how you look, and I don't care about how you dress, though I guess it might be nice if you were shorter. Um…I don't know. I wish you would be a cheerleader, you know? Instead of being sarcastic all the time, like if I had a bad day or during a match I'd really like you to cheer me on."

Genuine once again, she repeated, "You wish I would be a _cheerleader_?"

Ash came to a dead stop in the middle of the road. He _wished_. He had just _wished _she would be a _cheerleader_. What was _wrong _with him? Tomorrow he was going to wake up and have a uniform wearing Misty waking him up high school sports style. As hard as he thought, he was quite positive there was no way around this, no way to make it better, though he did mutter that he wished she was sarcastic in hopes that they would take that one instead.

He didn't think they would, but he wished that one extra hard, went back to the house and went to bed promising Misty that he had had a very, very good time.

**

* * *

**

There's probably more typos in this, and it's probably late, but there was a death in the family. I apologize, but I couldn't get the internet.


	4. Cheerleader

**Author's Note: **_Screw the new motto._

**Cheerleader**

"Ready? Okay!" came not one, but _two _voices at approximately seven o' clock in the morning. This was when Ash began debating whether or not suicide was the answer, because both a spunky redhead and a vivacious blue haired girl were chanting and bouncing and downright shrieking in his room while wearing skimpy cheerleader uniforms. "Good morning Ash! It's time to wake and eat breakfast your mother makes!"

"Go," Ash snarled slowly as the blankets crawled up to cover his face, "away."

"One! Two! Three! Four! Get those feet down on the floor! Five! Six! Seven! Eight! C'mon, Ashy, don't be late!"

He fell asleep to this sound, and slept through it for about three hours. Ash was quite the incredible little boy when it came to sleep, in fact, once he was assured that whatever was going on was nothing he needed to be concerned about he could sleep through three billion decibels, if it was possible to even make a noise that loud. He could do the same thing with eating. What was really impressive about the feat was the two girls managing to cheer for those hours on end without losing spirit or volume.

But, when he finally did wake up (and was cheered for waking up), he shuffled past them without a word or a glance their way. He didn't want to talk to this Misty, or the Dawn that was just a bit more cheerful than normal. Pikachu was sweet to him, knowing he was depressed about it all, and jumped up to his shoulder as he continued his shuffling, giving his cheek a little encouraging lick.

"I can't put up with twenty four hours of _her, _Pikachu," Ash groaned. "Out of all the ones I could have chose…"

(_Yes. You're a dumbass. But at least it's only a day and not a week of each one. Legendaries do weird stuff to _loads _of Chosen Ones. Like there was this one story about a Chosen One from ages ago and he ended up with the power to turn things into _cheese_ because he cared about cheese more than his family. He turned all his family into cheese, and then he _ate _them, so the plan kind of backfired. The problem with Legendaries is that they're not all knowing_. _Maybe Arceus. Not so sure about that._)

"I know I didn't hear the word for cheese when we're in this serious of a situation."

(_I'm starting to worry here. I mean, I don't think you're as bad as the Cheese Chosen One, but you're pretty bad. What if you _don't _solve this one and Misty turns into your freaky personality slave? Having a girl under your complete and total control is probably a lot of fun, especially if you consider what you could do if you weren't so…innocent, I guess? Sure. That's the word. That or stupid. Now I'm leaning towards stupid._)

Ash scowled, because all he had really made out was "cheese", "Misty" and "stupid". Misty and stupid were clear enough, but Pikachu had definitely thrown cheese in there again. Giving up on her as she had given up on him (after all, it wasn't a critical life or death situation and wasn't really worth all that much effort), he let his mind wander and focus of all the different sorts of cheese he would like to try, and wondered if he could go to a wine tasting just because of the delicious cheeses he was sure would be there.

Though, he was attacked rather suddenly with Misty wrapping her arms around his waist and cuddling into his shoulder with some strange, happy squeak. "It took you _forever _to wake up this morning, Ash! I cheered all the way, because you know I couldn't just leave the boy I loved asleep for the whole day! I would want you to waste it! There's some much training and playing to be done. Besides, as much as I love to watch you sleep, it much more fun when you're awake."

"What?" Ash yelped, wiggling out of her arms and scrambling away. "You love to watch me _sleep_?"

"Sure I do. I've told you that before. It's why you kicked me out of your room and started locking the doors to your room and the bathroom and _any _room that you're in and I'm not, because you're afraid that you'll wake up with my face right above yours again, but that only happened once and I promise it won't ever happen again." She beamed, putting a finger up in the air. "But you forgot to lock it today! Or did you do it on purpose? So I-"

"No. I _forgot_. I don't want you staring at me while I sleep _or _while I'm awake or when I'm in the bathroom! I mean, those are private times so…so stop being so creepy and peppy about everything." Ash crossed his arms over his chest. "Listen, I don't like you and I don't want to be around you, so why don't you leave me alone so I can live out the rest of my life in peace."

An ordinary person would have snapped or screamed or even burst out crying, but not Peppy Misty. Peppy Misty smiled wider and giggled, hugging him again. "I love it when you be all silly! You know I can't leave you alone. Who would cheer you on if I wasn't there? Who would care for you when you were sick or healthy and just love you forever and _ever_. C'mon, let's go look at the wedding planner I've drawn up!"

"Wedding planner? You can't be planning a wedding at our age! We won't be married for _years_!" His face turned a dark shade of red and he began waving his arms when her smile grew bigger. "I mean, we'll _never _be married. But _you_ won't be married for years! You know it won't be me so you have no idea who it is! You can't plan a wedding if you don't have a husband! I mean, don't you need one of those to have a wedding?"

"Depends on the region. In some places I just need a wife. I've planned for that to, in case I'm gay. I have loads of wedding depending on my future husband's or wife's hair color and eye color. I put the most dedication into the one with black hair and brown eyes. Are you sure you don't want to see it? It really is a beautiful wedding."

"No!"

"Well, why not?"

"Because that's so creepy! You're not supposed to plan your wedding when you're-"

It was then that an extremely audible crash occurred. The teens all rushed outside, towards the danger as years of traveling and battling had taught them to do, and Mrs. Ketchum carefully licked her finger and turned the page, musing on what she needed to get from the store. Eggs, she thought, and probably some bacon. Brock had been carrying on for the past couple days about chili, so she supposed that would be nice to get too. She didn't think about her son, however, because Delia knew without a doubt that her son faced this quite a lot, he had quite a few friends, and he would be terribly embarrassed to have her interfere anyway.

But the teens were outside, the light breeze blowing Dawn's and Misty's miniskirts up and down, making James glare (almost _enviously_) at them. He didn't really notice Jessie was attempting to start the motto, and he tugged and yanked at her, pointing to the twerps and begging and pleading, until the redhead sighed and they vanished behind the trees. The group blinked, knowing the danger couldn't _possibly _be over, when the duo suddenly sprang back out once again, Meowth mysteriously missing.

"Prepare for trouble," said Jessie, striking a Sailor Moon-like pose in her tiny, cheerleader uniform.

"And make it double," James insisted, striking a Sailor Moon-like pose in his tiny, cheerleader uniform.

And on went the motto, the _old _motto, thank you very much. Artistic liberties were also being taken by Jessie and James, who, although doing their original motto, had rephrased it so it was all about Meowth and how he had vanished. Ash muttered a smart remark about how he would reappear in a cheerleader uniform any moment now and Brock didn't even bother to try and hide his laughter, doubling over at the thought.

"What are you two laughing at?" Jessie shrieked. "We've been searching high and low for that no-good pokémon pilfering pokémon and he's nowhere to be found! We don't know what could have happened to him, and _he's _got all the food we had anyway! So you twerps better cough up Meowth or cough up some food or you'll be sorry!"

James, smoothing his miniskirt as carefully as he could, agreed, "If you could give us both, we promise not to try and take Pikachu this time! Preferably the food first, though, otherwise Meowth will probably eat everything and pretend like he deserves it all."

"We don't _have _Meowth and we don't have enough food to feed all of you." Both of which were true, as they had no idea where the cat was and Delia was only _musing _about shopping, and hadn't actually done so yet, though the reason he listed weren't the primary reasons. On the off chance he had had Meowth or the food necessary to feed them, he wouldn't have done it. Bonding with the enemy was for emergencies only, and unless those cheerleading outfits would show bone (instead of James's surprisingly feminine hips) he wouldn't have given them a crumb from his kitchen.

Jessie paused, just for a second, glaring into Ash's eyes with a kind of worry. "You don't…you don't actually have him, do you? We're only asking you because we didn't see him go, there wasn't a fight or anything. He's just…he's vanished, twerp. We thought that maybe you had taken him or…has anything weird been going on here? Other organizations, creepy pokémon, you know, the kind of stuff you usually get into."

"Not really," Ash said, though he seemed to get a rather large crick in his neck and began jerking his head at Misty in between every few words. "It's all…been pretty _bor_…ing if you ask…_me_. Nothing special at…_all _has been _ha_…ppening."

"What's wrong with your neck?" Misty asked, putting a slender finger to her pursed, confused lips.

With another jerk of his head, he said, "Just _stre_…teching."

"That reminds me!" James squealed, rushing over to the girls and taking up their hands. "Blue-haired twerpette, I've been waiting for _ages _to be able to compliment you on your style. All your outfits and everything, I know them all because, you know, we follow you _everywhere, _are so fantastic. If I had the money I _swear _I'd be buying the same designer labels as you. It's such a perfect style for someone so young! It never looks forced or like you're trying to be in fashion, but like the fashion follows _you_.

"And, Misty, I'm so glad you're finally getting a sense of style. Staying at the gym with your sisters has done you good. Look at you! A little makeup and the right clothes and, well, now that you're filling out and actually looking like a girl you could definitely pass for one of them! You even grew out your _hair_! Mew, it looks so much better that way! I just have to say that I'm now much, much prouder to be your arch nemesis!"

"_James_."

He laughed nervously at Jessie's snarl and raced back to her side, both of them tossing out pokeballs even though their probably wasn't any real reason to have a pokémon battle. It was Ash's hometown, and if one could say that he never had an advantage before, he certainly had one now. If nothing else, he could steer his friends far away from the wicked team, knowing the trees as well as Pikachu, and the mouse had grown up with this grass under her feet.

She was all too eager to have it under her feet again, as she leapt from Ash's shoulder and landed gracefully onto the soil. She was facing a carnivine (which she knew she had a slight weakness against, and her electric attacks wouldn't work nearly so well) and a seviper, but all in all felt nicely confident. She knew these pokémon well. She was faster than them, stronger than them, and probably smarter than them too, definitely smarter than their owners.

After all the years, Ash's commands had slid nicely into her mind, practically melding with her thoughts as their battle styles began to match. His words echoed in the back of her mind, and she easily jumped over Seviper's head, who now had its fangs dug into the ground. She landed, then turned to the next, only to find she had to crawl under the vine it was flinging at her. Another twist, another spin, all the while charging up for a Thunderbolt. Her favorite part, being an electric type, was always the charging up, and she loved the looks on Team Rocket's faces as her cheeks began to spark.

A few puns and a blast off later, Pikachu happily trotted back to her friend and leapt onto his shoulder, giving him an affectionate nuzzle as a thanks for the great battle.

But Ash wasn't paying attention. No, Ash was being quite hot tempered. He had woken up early (to _peppy _people no less), lost a _very _interesting version of Misty, and had no clue about what was going on. He had every _right _to be hot tempered, at least, to anyone who was informed to the every changing situations. However, to the rest of the world, it seemed like the boy was having a freak out for a very minor reason.

"You cheered for _them_?" Ash shouted, pointing at the little spot of light in the distance, which pinged rather brightly at him considering the misfortune it held.

Misty, her eyes bigger, bluer, and much more innocent than usual, cocked her head to the side and put a finger to her lips. She murmured thoughtfully, "I cheered for both of you. It wouldn't be fair if I only cheered for one side, and we're on the _good _side. Until I'm getting paid by someone, or unless I join a squad, I can't just cheer for _one _side. That'd be biased! I have to cheer for everyone because that's what _good _people do. What kind of evil person would only cheer for their own side?"

"A _normal _person! A _normal _person only cheers for their own team and doesn't cheer for their _enemies _that are trying to _steal _Pikachu! They've been trying to steal Pikachu for _years_! How could you cheer for them when they've been doing that to us!"

"I've been cheering for both teams—" she paused to giggle at the innuendo "—ever since I can remember! You _know _that, Ash! I hate the sinner, not the sin. People make mistakes, lifelong mistakes, but I still have to cheer for that little part in them that I _know _is good, because that's what good people do. You have to look on the bright side, believe that all people are basically good. That's what I do, Ash. That's the cheerleader way!"

Ignoring the fact that this wasn't the stereotypical cheerleader way (unless you went back sometime near the twenties), it was still so simple and chick flick-ish and _cheery _that Ash wanted to vomit. He couldn't argue with it either. After all, how were you supposed to artfully put that you should screw your enemies because you really _should _hate the sinner and not the sin when the sin becomes so repetitive it practically becomes the sinner? No matter how he phrased it, he still sounded like a jerk and she sounded like a peppy angel sent from cheerleader heaven (probably after cheering an American football team to glory in the Superbowl).

"You're too creepy! You plan weddings for people you don't even know, when you're not even sure if you like guys or girls! You watch me constantly, like I'm some animal in a zoo exhibit, and you constantly are jumping up and down and cheering! You need to lose some _pep_. It's so…it's just plain weird and I can't put up with it! Why don't you go someplace where there's a bunch of girls just like you and you can all dream about marrying each other and finding the perfect guy but you never will because you're so creepy!"

She blinked. "Are you saying you don't like me?"

He whipped his hat to the ground with a vicious shout of: "No _duh_!"

"But you haven't even spent any time with me," she argued. "Don't you think you should at least go on a date with me before you find out?"

"Haven't spent…I haven't spent any _time _with you? I've spent _years _with you! From this _day _I can already tell that I wouldn't want to spend any more than five minutes in the same room with you. If we went on a date, we'd have to bring poison so I can poor it into my drink, because I don't think I could stand spending an entire night and a movie and a dinner with you without going completely _insane_."

She blinked again. "So are you saying-"

"_Fine_. We'll go on a _date _tonight. I'll bring the poison, and I'll prove to you I can't stand you. That simple." He turned and walked away, and about four minutes later slapped his forehead at his own stupidity, because he probably could have told her that they could go on a date tomorrow and then avoided her all day today, wished for Sarcastic Misty back and have everything back the way he wanted it.

(_You know, even if you do things at a Cheese Chosen One level of stupid, at least you realize you're stupid and typically end up fixing it. That's what matters in the end, fixing it. I have faith that you'll fix this. I know that you won't damage things beyond repair and you won't eat your friends and family. You'll realize that family is _better _than cheese, and then you'll wish everything back to normal and the pokémon will sing songs of your intelligence instead of your stupidity._)

"All I heard was cheese again," Ash sighed. "I need to ask Professor Oak if we can get something to translate for you perfectly. A few words are great for dire situations, but for every day conversations it's pretty useless. You're probably explaining to me how using the right brand of cheese could end all this crazy stuff, but I don't get it."

(_You probably wouldn't get it if I spoke English either._)

"Probably not," Ash agreed.

It was then that Brock followed him into the living room, putting a sturdy hand on his shoulder and starting, "Listen, man," before Ash calmly took that same hand and dragged him up the stairs. Though Brock asked a lot of questions, Ash didn't answer them, he figured it would be best just to bring him up and show him the normal spot where the stain should have been, then do the explaining.

Once Ash had brought Brock to the appropriate place, he explained, "You remember that there was a spot of grape juice there, right? It stained the carpet? It's not there anymore. This is because some weird thing has decided that it's gonna screw with my life. Misty is usually really angry and sarcastic and violent and she hardly ever cheers anyone on ever. Every day she gets a different personality because the thingy is screwing with me, and the day she got a nice personality she turned into a super housewife and scrubbed the carpet clean so the stain's all gone."

"Alright." Brock nodded, because there really isn't much else to do in a situation like this. "What are you going to do about it? You've been trying to fix this, right?"

"It's only been a couple of days and I have to start from scrap every morning I wake up. We've had this discussion before and you're probably not going to come up with anything new. Maybe if you had a day to think of it you could help some more but, well, you know. Go ahead and give me some ideas. I'll probably have heard them all though."

"How many times have we done this?"

"Only once."

"Have you tried just wishing that Misty was just plain Misty? You know, just wishing she was the way she originally was and wishing everything back to normal? That's usually how these fairy tales end." He started laughing. "But even _you _wouldn't be stupid enough to avoid _that _for more than a day. The second you figured out what was wrong, I'm sure you tried that, didn't you?"

"No."

"No?"

"No."

"_Why_?"

"It's complicated. Just assume it doesn't work."

After all, asking for the old Misty back would mean he liked her, and he didn't like her. He didn't like her romantically, and he hardly liked her as a friend. If anything, all this was annoying because he had finally gotten used to her. His goal was to find the perfect personality and then just stick it there, which would work as long as he just made sure to wish it every single night. His problem was he just wasn't sure _what _he wanted, and he didn't know how long this would last. He had to be quick about it.

"It's because you'd have to admit you _like _her, don't you?" Brock grinned and elbowed the younger boy in the ribs.

"How could anyone like her?" he snapped as red stained his cheeks. "You heard that there's no way I could put up with this version of her for more than a day."

Brock nodded slowly. "So, you like the _original _Misty and you're too embarrassed to admit it. Until you get over your pride and just admit it you're probably not going to get anywhere. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this whole thing was just a plot to hook you two up. I'd like to give whoever's doing this my gratitude. I always thought it'd be impossible to ever get you out on a date."

"Hey! This is gonna be my _third _date! I'm good at them too! It's her that sucks at them. Every time I take her out, except for the sarcastic one. She was kinda fun."

"Isn't the normal Misty pretty sarcastic?"

Ash made a noise that didn't seem to mean much of anything and collapsed onto the bed. "Brock, what am I supposed to _do_? Nobody's going to let me out of this date and I really don't want to go. She's going to be terrible. She's going to be worse than Nice Misty! I could hardly stand her and…and I don't know what to do anymore. Ever since all this started I've been so angry and I don't even know why!"

"Maybe it's because the Misty you knew and loved is constantly being replaced with personalities that just can't match up?" Brock suggested wisely, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Maybe you're upset because you really miss her and you're afraid to admit it."

Ash scrunched his face up, thinking hard, then shook his head. "No…no that's not it. Come on, Brock, this is a serious situation. You have to help me think about what personality I should choose for her so she can be perfect and not annoying and I can have the perfect life! We already decided that that's what this is all for, not for some character building life experiencing feel good kind of moral of the story! It's about me getting what I want!"

"Are you sure that's not just what you decided?"

"I guess I wasn't really paying attention to you," he amended.

"You're going to have to come to terms with this sooner or later. I'll tell you the same thing tomorrow and the day after that. It isn't right for you to control her anyway. You should just wish for her to be her, let her chose whatever she wants. I mean, you wouldn't do anything like that to _Pikachu _so I don't see why you would do it to her."

Ash crawled under the covers, pulling them over his head like he had done early that morning. "I don't want to talk about it anymore. You can wake me up for the date. Or, you know, if she decides that she doesn't actually like me or gets eaten or something else good happens. Though it's probably going to be for the stupid date. What are we going to see, Brock? I don't want to spend the rest of my life watching the same movies over and over again!"

"They come out with new mo-"

"That's _not _the point!"

The conversation ended there. Well, a few insults and a good whack or two, but nothing that was worthy of typing out. Brock left and Ash fell asleep again (making sure to lock the door just in case). He dreamed, but nothing that made sense to him. There were just strings of memories from way back when, memories that made him feel warm and good and safe inside, generally involving him, Misty and Brock, mostly him and Misty. Though, of course, nothing that made much sense to him.

He was jolted up by the furious jiggling of the lock and loud whines of "_Ash! Open up!" _that sounded an awful lot like the cheerful nuisance. It wasn't quite date time yet. Five minutes early, actually. He decided that he could be at least five minutes _late_, as to be fashionably late (and without getting his butt kicked by several upset friends and family members), and put on a set of headphones (unplugged, because the sound of silence was better than her screeching voices) until the clock informed his it was time to get up and go.

He twisted around and slowly got to his feet, marching like a condemned man to the still rattling door and wrenching it open, staring with pity at the kneeling girl on the floor. She had a credit card out and had quite obviously been attempting to break open the door. It was from this moment that, if he had had any kind of hope before he certainly didn't have any now. It was going to be a terrible, terrible night.

He half-led, half-dragged her out of the house, abusive as it was, but he was sick of her. It was hard not to be. He was sick of everything, sick of the changes, sick of the lies, and sick of the sick feeling in his stomach every time he imagined the real Misty and what _she _would have done. How would _she_ have acted?

When the waiter came at the cute little restaurant, would Misty have flirted? Not while they were on a date, he guessed, unless he had ticked her off. No, she certainly wouldn't be like this Misty, tossing her hair and pushing up her B-cup chest as best she could to make the waiter get her a couple free drinks. She would have ordered like a normal person. She would have treated the waiter like a human, he bet, but kept most of her attention on who she came with. She wouldn't have been so embarrassing. He ordered a beer to try and get his mind off of it.

Would Misty have asked the waiter how many calories were in the food? No.

Would she have spent most of the time talking about herself? Surprisingly enough, he didn't think so. He knew she wouldn't be filing her nails as she did it, and he knew she wouldn't be talking about what conditioner she used in her hair, but he thought she wouldn't have talked about her time at the gym or her favorite show either. He didn't think she'd want to talk about him either. She probably would have looked up at the battles on the television screens and talked to him about those, or maybe about a new species of pokémon or something they both liked. A conversation, not some information download.

If the salad came with dressing, would she have tossed it to the side and refused to eat it? No, because she really didn't care how fatty the dressing was, but he supposed a fairer comparison would be how she would have acted if the salad had shown up with carrots. She probably would have thrown the same hissy fit, with all the muttering and pouting, but she would have asked for a new one instead of just starving and waiting for the main course.

Would Misty have ever gotten chicken? Hell no, not when she was out with him. She probably would have gotten the lobster, freeloader that she was.

Would Misty have-?

_Well, I don't need to finish _that _question, _he thought, smiling to himself. _She _never _skips dessert, and she wouldn't want to share mine. She might try and _steal _some of mine, but she'd definitely get her own. She's got a crazy sweet tooth. There's no way she'll ever be able to go on a diet. Not unless she goes to a chocolaholics meeting._

The thought of Misty sitting in front of a large circle of frail, nervous looking people and announcing, "My name is Misty, and I'm a chocolaholic" was so comical that he burst out laughing and squirted the beer out of his nose (burning it pretty badly) and had to bury his face in his elbow until he managed to calm himself down.

"Are you making fun of me?" the redhead asked, cocking her head to the side.

Still laughing, Ash stood up from the booth. "Yeah. You know what? I sorta am. That's why we're not going to the movies and I'm going to leave you here with the tab. You can take the money that you _would _have used on blonde hair dye or breast implants and French manicures and tickets to the movie tonight to go take some kind of class, because even _I _can't handle you."

Sauntering out of the restaurant, hands in his pockets, and knowing _exactly _what he was saying, Ash declared: "I wish you were smarter."

It would turn out to be one of his better wishes.

**

* * *

**

If a single person tells me that not all cheerleaders are like this, I swear I will smack you through your computer. I'm doing stereotypes here, remember, that's what makes it funny.

I'm sorry if this came out a little sentimental, but I've been spending a lot of time with my family and, as weird as this may sound, they're so emotionally abusive that I need to write happiness in order not to go out and stab someone. It's pretty bad. O.o

Fifth, there's a kiss next chapter, but you have to wait two weeks for it. :P


	5. Smart

**Smart**

He woke up the next morning to nothing. There wasn't anyone cheering or crying or cleaning or doing anything weird, which was weird in itself, because he usually woke up to some kind of oddity even before the whole magic mess went down. The silence frightened him so much that when he first blinked his eyes open to his plain, white ceiling, his shut them up tight once more and grabbed the pillow his hands were already on due to his weird sleeping position.

(_Morning, Ash_,) Pikachu said, nosing his cheek. (_It's not that bad today. I promise it's not anything scary._)

Although he didn't know what she said, he could hear the comforting tone (and the very cold nose) and sat up, rubbing his sleepy eyes. Bending over the bed to see how she would surprise him today, he found nothing out of the ordinary. She had her hair loose for sleeping, snoring lightly, and from the little bit of her shoulder he could see she seemed to be wearing one of her typical yellow outfits. It couldn't be that everything was back to normal, could it? Though she wasn't dumb, he wouldn't use smart as the perfect would to describe Misty.

"Has she gotten up yet?" he asked Pikachu, who shook her head. "So we won't know if there's anything weird going on until then."

At Ash's first question she had twitched her toe; when he continued to talk she yawned and twitched and blinked her eyes open. A stretch or two and up she sat, her left hand rubbing at her eyes while her right reached at the front of her shirt to pull out a pair of slim, wire framed glasses. They weren't ridiculously thick, but enough so that they obviously not reading glasses. Her hair frizzed more than usual, poking up a bit, and her face was a little dirtier with a complexion that left a bit to be desired. A few pimples dotted her chin and forehead, though they weren't too noticeable and definitely couldn't have been worse. The yellow shoulder he saw turned out to be a yellow t-shirt a little too big, matched only by the too big jeans she wore.

"I get it. You're a nerd," he said out loud, which was something he hadn't quite intended to do.

She looked up at him, focusing on his face, then nodded. "I get it. You're an ass."

"Sorry, I didn't-"

"Doesn't matter if you didn't mean to, you did it. Don't know what provoked you into it today. I haven't even gotten out anything like RPG's or turn-based game play or Marvel comics or scientific research." She stood up abruptly and shook her head condescendingly his way. "I've told you a million times before and I'll tell you a million times again: Ash Ketchum, when you've got an IQ that lets you into public schools, you're allowed to insult me. Until then you're just another test subject."

He gawked, repeating, "Test subject?"

"Yeah, test subject." Her eyes lit up and she put a forefinger in the air, like she had just had a jinkies moment. "That reminds me, Ash, there were a couple of things I've been wanting to experiment about with pokémon breeding, and the Professor already gave me some of his books to read up on and some test tubes filled with pheromones, but I was wondering if you'd let me borrow Pikachu for a while so she could tell me which ones smells best to her."

"Pikachu?" He turned his head to her, and she gave a brief nod, leaping over to Misty's shoulder. "She's alright with it, so I don't care. Just be careful with her."

"I will. I might need you later, too," she said distantly, making her way to the door. "There's a few things I need a human for and, well, I'm not exactly going to use them on _me_, am I? That's what I have friends like you for."

There wasn't a giggle to show she was joking, and he wasn't quite sure she was. So he swung out of bed, disappointed at being companionless for the day and ran off to find Brock, only pausing a moment to make sure that the stain still wasn't there. It wasn't, which meant he still had his proof, but it also meant that the proof of that memory was still missing. Maybe it had never happened, and he had never really discovered Misty as a girl that night. Maybe that was all in his head, something warped by the same thing manipulating Brock and Dawn and Misty's memory.

He had to hope that it wouldn't work out that way, that when he found the answer that wouldn't be it, and off he went in search of Brock. He found him in the kitchen, eating a delicious smelling breakfast. Ash wasn't all too hungry, but he ate with him anyway. Dawn was already done and out doing her contest practice while Delia watched and clapped along. Misty was nowhere to be found. There was a brief conversation with Brock, followed with him dragging the other boy up to his room to point out the empty spot. Ash asked if Brock believed him now, and he nodded, this time bending forward a bit as if the stain would suddenly appear.

After he was positive it was missing, they had the conversation they had had for the last few days. Brock offered several obvious ways to correct the problem, and Ash objected even though he hadn't really tried them. This time, though, Brock continued, offering a lot of strange new ways he could try, though none of them made much sense. It was still nice to see him thinking, and Ash couldn't help but wonder if maybe the smarter Misty had affected his friends.

There was another brief argument, once again Brock was requesting that he tell Misty he liked her the way she was, and wishing her back would be the best option, and Ash argued that he didn't want the real her back. Brock did put up a better case that time, but there was no use arguing with someone who refused to use any logic (and Ash was extremely against logic), and the two decided to resumed the conversation after a quick break, a break best spent watching Dawn practice.

But that could only last for so long, and when his family grew exhausted and retired to the living room he decided to avoid another conversation with Brock and went instead to get something to drink.

He didn't know why his throat was so dry, but he knew what he wanted to drink. His first choice was a strong shot of liquor, but as his mother told him never to drink away pain (that's how good men ended up doing bad things), he opted for something softer – grape juice. He had a vague idea of why he was choosing that. It wasn't because the purple color made a nice background against the growlithe painted onto the clear glass cup, that was for sure. The red and purple clashed terribly and made the painting nearly fade away. It wasn't because it tasted good either, because the very first sip tasted so sweet he almost gagged at it.

Still, he kept it in hand and jogged up the stairs, careful not to spill a drop. An hour alone would be a nice break from his friends and mother, and a nice break from Misty's newfound multiple personality disorder and his room would be the perfect place. Pikachu was probably curled up there about this time. The mouse always liked to take a nap in the afternoon, whether on his shoulder or some nice place, though he hadn't given her much of a chance the past few days. Maybe he could lay down with her and talk a few more things out; after all, there were certain things he'd like to talk about in private.

The door swung open and was almost closed all the way when it startled the redhead inside. That startled girl gave a gasp, which caused Ash to stop closing the door, leaving a Pikachu sized way out but decent visual coverage and soundproof shielding.

Though surprised, she hadn't taken the pencil she had been gnawing on out of her mouth, making her look even sillier than she did with just the glasses. Pikachu was laying on the desk Misty was sitting at, cautiously sniffing one of the special test tubes that was laying on its side. A moment later she had jumped to her feet, casting the pencil aside and shuffling to pick everything up, a blush painted across her cheeks.

"You don't have to go," he said awkwardly. "I was just looking for a place to be alone for a while. Uh, maybe I'd take a nap with Pikachu or something, but I can just go crash on the couch or…my mom probably wouldn't mind if I used her bed. You can just continue doing whatever you were doing. It's cool. So, I'll just…" He pointed at the door.

She cleared her throat and picked up a book or two. "Yeah, uh. Listen, Ash, you don't have to. I'm mostly done with my research on everything and it seems that your Pikachu is undoubtedly a heterosexual female and she's more attracted to raichus than pikachus, which is interesting and apparently evolved forms are more likely to get mates than unevolved pokémon so…um, I'll be going then."

Neither moved, each looking to the door then back to each other, and the tension mounting in the room wasn't making the situation much better. It didn't help that Ash was completely baffled as to why there was tension. He hadn't walked in on her smelling his pillow or anything, she was fully dressed and doing something that she always did. They only thing that could have made it uncomfortable was whatever she was talking about before he came in. She was the one blushing and nervous, he was only reacting to it.

"Didn't you say you needed a human for something? I'm free if you still need one."

"I don't." She laughed lightly. "I've gotten everything I need. The human research was optional and, you know, I'm not even sure there's a purpose to it. The pokémon research is much more intriguing and it'd be better to have a male and female test subjects. It's not as effective if I only have you, and you've never been that great a test subject anyway, Ash. Half the time you just try to screw up all my results."

"I won't this time," he promised quickly.

(_She needs help_,) Pikachu encouraged. (_She needs a _lot _of help. The kind of help you two should be alone for and play very loud music to drown out any sound you might make. And lock the doors. I'll leave, so you don't have to be uncomfortable._)

"Pikachu!" Misty gasped.

"You can understand her?"

"Of course, I've been able to understand her for years without a problem. It only took a few months for me to figure it out. I do have an exceptionally high IQ, you know." The blush was still on her cheeks and only darkening as she continued to speak. "She says…she says that I need help, which I don't. The experiment is done with and I don't even know why I'm so concerned over the stupid stuff. I almost never care about mating habits. It's probably because it's spring time."

"Spring?"

"Mmm." She nodded, relaxing enough to begin stacking the books neatly on the desk. "Spring. It's the time when most babies are born, because there's plenty of food and they have time to grow and build immune systems before the hot summer rolls in. Since humans mate all year around and you start seeing babies everywhere and it's just nice enough to make you want to have some sort of romantic fantasy. It's only natural to have romantic fantasies. That was redundant. Damn. I'm terrible at this."

He cocked his head to the side, watching her carefully. "Talking?"

"No, all this romance crap. It's too complicated, too many variables. It's too hard to experiment and test with. I mean, immune systems, pheromones, mental capabilities, physical capabilities, time in the menstruation cycle, age, gender, social standing, the way you were raised all plays a factor! There's puzzle pieces, of course, like everything else, but there's so many little components of it that make it damn near impossible to figure anything out! At least with pokémon it's much simpler. They just want to get knocked up, mostly, and they're always up for sex when they're stressed. It's our society that makes it so impossible to-"

With a shake of her head and a harder blush, she cut herself off and began fixing up the test tubes. "You're not being careful with your grape juice. Put it on the counter so you don't drop it and stain the carpet, you klutz. I'm going to leave all the stuff here because I'm too…too busy to take it all back to Oak's at the moment and I need you to be careful with it. Don't break it like you did the DNA Scanner last year. I had to work for ages to pay that one off."

He moved fast, setting the grape juice on the desk and grabbing her arm, keeping her from leaving and forcing her to look up at him. "You can understand Pikachu. You can…you know what she says. So if she gave you a really complicated explanation that I could never, ever understand in a million kabillion years because I'm not good at that stuff, you could translate for her and give it to me? That's what you're saying."

She shook him off. "Of course, you moron. I've done that for you a million times. I can't do it if she isn't _here_, though."

He let his hands fall to the side and spun around. Sure enough, the mouse had scampered off while they were talking, hoping to give them some alone time. He didn't want alone time, because he had just solved a rather inconvenient problem. He doubted any other Misty he could come up with would have the skill, so he had to do it today before the chance slipped through his fingers. All he had to do was walk a few steps out the door, and call for Pikachu. She'd know right away nothing would happen and the problem would be solved. Unfortunately, he was a bit paralyzed at the fact that he was alone in a room with Misty, with the door almost closed.

Now, he knew what happened when you were with a girl and the door was closed, but wasn't quite sure what to do with a Misty when the door was _almost_ closed.

"She isn't here," he repeated.

"_No_. She _isn't_. She _left _me so I could be alone with your stupid…" She stiffened, blushed, and turned her gaze to the floor. "I don't know what to do with myself for the rest of today. I don't have any more tests to do. I figured this would take longer, but without two human subjects I'm not going to get that half done. I suppose I could always ask Dawn and Brock, but Brock isn't so willing after the last incident and Dawn's so busy training. I could walk down to the lab, I guess. Professor Oak wouldn't mind giving me more work to do. If all else fails I could do research on the internet."

He chuckled, bringing a hand to rub at the back of his neck. "You really are smart, huh?"

That brought her head back up and dropped her mouth wide open. "You…you called me smart. You're never done that before. You were always calling me a nerd or a geek but you never said anything that would be a…well, a compliment. Not towards my intelligence anyways. A few times I may have gotten a look that said I was pretty, but I don't care about that. I mean, it's always nice to hear but it's not that nice if that's all someone likes about you, or it's the final bit about you that makes them decide you're decent enough to date. I mean, they should be able to date you whether you're in bad clothes or good clothes or with or without makeup, right?"

"Mom always told me that if you cared about someone, it's not supposed to matter what's on the outside. You shouldn't judge anyone on the outside, like…" He paused for a moment to considered, then beamed when he thought of his perfect example. "Like Gary! He looks nice but he's really a jerk."

"Maybe I should test that out. See if all those makeover shows are doing it wrong," she said, more to herself than to him.

Her stance changed, just a bit. She became tighter, twitchier, shifting from one foot to another while her hands darted about one another. Two steps and she had gotten in front of him, his back to the desk, just a step or two away. She was close enough that he could see her eyes behind the glasses and noted that they were much bluer today than usual. He didn't feel like it was a very important deduction, but he noticed these things. He also noticed that she didn't have freckles, which was pretty weird considering she was a very light skinned redhead who spent a lot of time in the sun.

"So, Ash, would you like to test it?" she asked.

"Test what?"

She swallowed. "It's a simple test. You tell me if you think I'm better girlfriend material by looking at my face with and without my glasses. Everyone's told me a hundred times I look better without them, so…as long as you ignore the rest of me, it should be a fairly simple test. There's no commitment or anything, you don't have to date me. You just have to tell me…if you were looking for a girlfriend, would you be more likely to ask me out like this," she gestured to her face, "or like this," and she tugged her glasses off.

"I feel like I'm in an eye exam," he muttered. "One or two? A or B? And I never know for sure when those two points are on top of each other. If I can read the bottom row, why can't they just let me leave?"

"One more time, that's it. And pay attention, for Mew's sake. A," once more she gestured to her face, which was becoming redder by the second, "or B?"

She pulled her glasses from her face, cocked her head to the side and pressed her lips to his. He really hadn't been expecting that, and could only think disturbingly calm, logical thoughts for quite a while, like he usually did under stress. He noted that kissing made his heart beat awful fast and made him feel like he was getting his very first pokémon again. He noted that Misty had her eyes closed, and he probably looked silly with them open. He noted that her lips were very weird feeling, and didn't feel like velvet but more like softer, wetter skin, only a little different, which was nice, because he didn't really like velvet anyway. He also noted that he had no idea what he was doing, but he noted that so often that it really only became something notable if he actually _did _have an idea of what he was doing, because he tended to wander around life without a clue.

The important thing was that his hand had slid back and knocked over the grape juice, spilling it in the exact same spot it had all those years ago.

She pulled away, swallowing again. "Sorry. I wanted to try that."

"That's alright," he said, surprisingly calm about it all. "Though I think you look better without the glasses, and I like you better without them. I can see your eyes better, which is important, because sometimes when you're really upset and you don't want to tell anyone they're bluer than usual and I know I'm supposed to be nicer to you."

"I thought you were mad," she said, taking another step back. "You didn't kiss back."

"You might have had more back if you had warned me. It was a really big surprise and I'm not good at those. Maybe if I had known it was coming something else would have happened." He shrugged. "The more you surprise me that more I think, and I don't think you're supposed to think when you're kissing. It helps when I'm saving the world, though. It's only when I get the chance to think and it doesn't really involve me that I do stuff without thinking."

She glared. "I gave loads of signs! We were talking about mating and dating! How didn't you know?"

"I don't know. It didn't have the right atmosphere, I guess. If you ever kissed me, it doesn't seem like it'd be from an experiment. Well, an experiment to shut me up, maybe, but not any other kind. Sorry if I didn't kiss right. We can try again tomorrow if you want. Yup, in twenty four hours we can-Mew! Misty, we need to go get Pikachu so you can translate the story of what's been going on, okay? It needs to happen now before the day ends. Sound good?"

"I'm a little broken up over the _kiss_," she snapped, crossing her arms.

He glanced at his watch. "It's two. I'd give you ten hours before the grudge goes away. In fact, I could push you down a flight of stairs and you'd still probably lose that grudge at exactly twelve o' clock tomorrow morning. But, Misty, this is really, really important. I really need you to come find Pikachu with me and translate for me. It won't make any sense and it won't matter in ten hours. Will you do it?"

"It's obvious I'm not going to get anything from you. An explanation is better than nothing," she growled.

He stepped into the hall and shouted for her, only to glance down and found Pikachu grinning up at him rather cheekily. A roll of his eyes and she had darted to the bed, sitting proudly with her ears straight in the air. She had been eavesdropping outside the door, and since she hadn't expected anything to happen she was thrilled that the two had gone as far as they did. Granted, her master had been a dumbass again, but doing nothing during a kiss was a lot better than screaming about cooties.

Without checking to see if Misty would translate (which the redhead did), Pikachu dove into what she had been trying to say for the past four days. (_Legendaries, powerful ones, three of them. They're out of the Sinnoh regions and I don't really know why they're here, except to screw with you, Ash. I don't know how well you remember them, but they're the lake ones. The stories I was always told said they controlled the three that put us above plants – emotion, knowledge and will. There's plenty of stories about them manipulating people who cross them the wrong way._)

"But I didn't cross them," Ash said when she finished translating.

(_Doesn't matter. Some stories say just laying eyes on them or accidentally touching them would send them into a rage. Ash, there might not even be a way to stop this. This could be a curse placed on either you or Misty, maybe even Brock or Dawn or your mother. There's no real way to know. The problem is we're dealing with Legendaries that I don't know all that much about. You'll need a pokémon from Sinnoh if you want a better story._)

"Dawn's got pokémon from Sinnoh. They'll probably have an idea, especially if they're big enough to still be in your Legends over here."

"Curse?" Misty remarked with a snort. "Please, Ash, I doubt you're being cursed. It's probably all in your head. Every time scientific research has been done in these areas there's been no conclusive evidence. It's generally all in their heads and two events occurring doesn't mean that one cause the other. Tell me what you think is going on and I'll tell you if there's any chance at all that it could be the cause of any known pokémon attack."

He shook his head. "This version of you would never believe me. The regular version of you has a hard enough time."

"Ash, I believe anything as long as it's supported by-"

"Why do you care so much?" he groaned. "Can't you just let some things be mysterious and exciting and unexplainable? Can't you carry around good luck charms like you used to? Maybe you can believe in fairies or something you know can't exist but you believe it anyway? Something illogical and irrational and something to make you like a normal person. Not everything has to be researched. Why do you care if it's been tested in a laboratory?"

"I care because how can I believe something so unscientific?"

"Because it's _happening_!" he cried, throwing his arms up. "I'm sick of having to prove everything to everyone! Can't you just believe me when I tell, you that it's happening? Do I have to get drilled on everything? It'd be so much easier if none of you questioned or cared and just nodded along. Mew, I wish you didn't care!"

A moment later, the words clicked in his brain and he fell to his knees with a loud, "Arceus _damn _it!" Pikachu, always the helpful one, leapt to the bed and dragged a pillow off the side. It dropped onto his head, and a second later he had grabbed it, pressing it hard into his face and screaming with all the strength he could, though he was sure smart Misty would probably be thinking up a way to test his abnormal behavior.

It wasn't even sunset and he'd managed to screw up again. One step forward, two steps back.

**

* * *

**

Oh, how much do you all hate me for that kiss? The good news is there will definitely be more of them, and they all won't suck as bad as this. Ash'll get the hang of it soon, I promise.

This chapter is also eight hundred words shorter than the average chapter. I hope you don't mind, and somehow I doubt anyone will.

Weekly Musings: Has anyone else noticed the freaking weird way Ash sleeps? And they've never even _changed _it. He sleeps on his back with his arms behind his head. Honestly, I've never met anyone who sleeps like that. Ever. It's weird.

Has anyone else ever noticed the more time Ash has to think, the less he thinks? Look at the first pokémon movie. While all the pokémon were fighting each other for quite some time, he had loads of time to think. Did he come up with an ingenious strategy? No. He ran out and got zapped. Let's look at things like his battle with Fantina. Did he have a lot of time to think? Not really. He only had a few seconds before she finished him off. What does he come up with? A great strategy. The boy is only intelligent under pressure.

I apologize that fanfiction comes after school, but I shouldn't have to apologize that it comes after Batman. You should _all _know that fanfiction comes after Batman.


	6. Uncaring

**Careless**

Ash wasn't a spy.

Really, he wasn't a spy at all, but that never mattered much to him. After all, he wasn't a girl but he dressed up like one often enough. He wasn't a genius but he had his moments. He had decided a long time ago that just because he wasn't something, or it was physically impossible to do something didn't mean he shouldn't _try_ to do it because the gain would always be greater than the loss. When you're trying to do something you can't do, you typically end up looking like an idiot. But everyone _already _thought he was an idiot and their opinion on that front couldn't go any lower. He could only earn more respect.

Trying to be a sneaky spy didn't earn him anymore respect. It earned him giggles but he didn't care. The point was about ten minutes after the previous chapter completed Ash rushed off and began hiding in the shadows, observing everyone carefully. He was waiting for the moment when everybody changed. There had to be a time when it happened, when Misty went from happy to sad to creepy to cool and everybody nodded along to it. Now that there were Legendaries involved, he felt safer. He knew what he was dealing with and he had dealt with these plenty of times before.

"Pikachu," he said, hiding behind a potted plant that clearly didn't cover him. "When does everything change? Not all deep and stuff change, but when everyone forgets what happens and Misty gets a weird new personality. When does that happen?"

She shrugged her little mousey shoulders.

"I thought you knew all of this!"

(_I sleep too, you know. It's probably after I fall asleep, after everyone falls asleep. I don't mess with Legendaries unless you ask me to. It's against my religion. You have no idea how badly my mother would tug my ears if she knew the things I had done to the gods and goddesses. The sheer amount of disrespect…and _me! _Saving Legendaries. I was the most promising in my group, but no one ever dreamed I'd do something like that. I'd love to go back and see their faces now._) She sighed dreamily.

"What if I stayed up all night?" said Ash, only catching 'awake' in her little rant. "That's what I'd end up doing anyway. But how would I know? I can't tell when they're sleeping when everything changes. Well, maybe with Misty this time around because her glasses would probably vanish. But what if they don't! What if I stayed up all night for nothing?"

(_The Legendaries will probably _come_. Since they're the lake ones and the pokedex says…_) She froze, realizing there was a better way to get her point across, and bounded into his lap, nosing at the pocket where he usually kept the thing. They had seen them all before, not only that, but the pokedex usually had any information other people had gathered, it was sort of the Wikipedia of the pokémon.

He pulled it out with a laugh, petting her back and pulling her away from her pocket assault. With a laugh of: "Alright, I got it! Jees, Pikachu. Relax a little!" he handed it over to her, and her little paws scrambled over it, slamming onto a scroll arrow and waiting while the pictures went through. Her eyes were better than Ash's, she could see more pictures a minute (it was one of the reasons television was so confusing for her) and it wasn't hard to see each pokémon that flashed by. It was a little annoying that there were so many pokémon recorded and she was quite sure these would be at the end, but she could wait. A minute or so wouldn't make a difference.

The lake creature appeared and she removed her paw triumphantly, staring up at him as he picked the 'dex back up.

He read quietly, "_Uxie, the Being of Knowledge…is said that it gave humans intelligence to improve the quality of your life…_Yadda, yadda, yadda…legends…blah…and _it is said that it can wipe the memory of those who see…_Memory wiping. That explains how everyone wouldn't remember anything! Uxie could erase their memories and fill 'em up with new ones, right? The being of knowledge wouldn't have any problems doing that."

Pikachu stretched out her paw and tapped it again, her heart pounding in her chest, changing to the next pokémon. (_There's two more of them, emotion and will, if I remember my stories right._)

"Two more?" Ash repeated. She nodded once and he plunged on. "_Mesprit, the Being of Emotion…taught humans the nobility of sorrow, pain and joy…lives in a lake…leaves its body to fly…_Nothing else interesting. In here, just about losing your emotions completely, but that's not right. That's not what's been happening. Maybe it can mess up your emotions too. It wouldn't be all that weird considering all the other weird stuff."

Another click from Pikachu and the final being appeared. "_Azelf, the Being of Will…sleeps at the bottom of the lake…keeps the world in balance…_blah, blah, blah. Nothing in here says anything about it! It's got something to do with will. What's 'will' anyway? I don't get that. Anyway, I know it's these guys. So now I know what to look for! I've seen them before too. Maybe they'll remember me."

(_That's probably why they're here, because of those lasting impressions you tend to leave,_) she said, leaping onto his shoulders while he stumbled to his feet. (_I know you don't understand me, Ash, but I wish you wouldn't do this. They could really hurt you, especially if they're as moody as the legends say, you could be really messed up. I wish you'd just wish the old Misty back and move on with your life._)

As always, Ash had only a vague idea of what she meant, a vague notion of the worry in her voice, and gave her a reassuring pat on her head before heading upstairs and sitting on his bed 'til nightfall. He rarely left, twice for a bathroom break and once for a drink break, but aside from that his butt continued to sink into the covers, warming a single spot while the rest would stay cool, not that he thought he's get to feel it. He doubted he would see anything and he was nearly positive he wouldn't get to sleep.

"What are you doing? Misty asked as she walked in the room. "You haven't moved since-"

"Five. That's six hours. I've been playing games on my pokedex to pass the time. I'm staying up because Legendary pokémon are going to come in at any moment and completely change your personality and memory and all that junk. We're powerless to stop it, and everyone but me is going to forget, but I'm really hoping I'll figure it out tonight."

"So…why are you telling me? I'm just going to forget it by tomorrow, right?" she probed.

He shrugged and returned to his game. "Nothing better to do. I was a little lonely because Pikachu keeps coming and going and I wanted someone to talk to. Games get boring really fast. You can't move around enough to keep 'em interesting. It's why I hardly ever use them. Plus, if you'll probably forget all this in an hour I don't really have anything to lose. I mean, what's the point of lying about it?"

She muttered and shook her head at him, "You're getting freakier every _day_."

"If you were sitting on this bed, playing 'Who's That Pokémon' for the forth time in a row and actually remembered everything that's going on, you would think that's really ironic." He grinned at her. "_Really _ironic."

She smirked. "You know what ironic means?"

"Vaguely."

"You know what vaguely means?"

He paused, considering a good way to phrase his definition. He pause caused his score to tick away, the timer counting down as he focused very hard on a black spot on the far wall. "I guess it means you don't actually know, but you think you're smart enough to fake your way through a conversation about it."

She chuckled. "That's not even close."

He frowned back. "That's not what the dictionary says, but it's what people mean when they say it. All I know is that I'll be so glad when you're not a genius anymore. It'll be nice when all you can do is solve riddles again. Even though I probably won't win any of the arguments, it'll still be pretty nice."

She walked off then, because boys were weird and Ash was weird and despite her now genius IQ she was still young enough to forget that she was _just _as weird as anyone else. She changed into her pajamas, fell asleep, and Ash continued to click away on his tiny electronic device. He had at least another hour to kill and after all the time he's spent there a little more wouldn't hurt.

He finally decided he would wait until ten 'til twelve and then turn his game off. He would then wait in his bed, hoping not to fall asleep and hoping the creatures would come soon. Perhaps a better idea would be to lay down and pretend to be asleep rather than risk them poking their head in the window and seeing him wide awake. However, Ash had planned enough as it was and it would have been eight kinds of miracles had he made a perfect plan outside a pokémon battle.

Thankfully, the Legendary was rash and had had it too easy for too long. With caution flung to the wind, Ash watched Mesprit fly through the window and focus its sights on the snoring redhead, reaching a tentacle forward as if to touch her, which seemed very repulsive to him. In fact, it seemed so repulsive he felt he had to stop it immediately. With his heart in his throat and his stomach in knots, he made a hasty plan. He would carefully crawl out of bed, oh yes, quiet as a mouse he would crawl forward, and he would then reach into his bag and pull out a pokeball. The thing would probably pop out, but it would be delayed enough that he could wake Misty up and get her out of there.

Then Pikachu sneezed and Ash was so startled he leapt forward, heading straight for the Legendary beast in front of him. If it had been a normal creature, the force of Ash's body slamming into its side surely would have brought it to the ground. However, with its Legendary might keeping it stationary, the boy continued forward, snapped back by his attempt to bring Mesprit down with him, and slammed into the floor with a very loud sound, though nobody else in the house twitched in their sleep.

It straight, chest puffing out with fury and thundered, "If you weren't the Chosen One-"

"I am," Ash said quickly, feeling like he would be in a heap of trouble if this wasn't the case. "I am the Chosen One, and I'm really good at it. I've saved the world loads of times and the time they told me I was the Chosen One I…I…did what I was supposed to! There were orbs and birds and talking slowkings and I almost died and a prophecy really screwed me over. I really am the Chosen One."

It paused, nodding to itself as it mulled it over. "Sounds like Chosen One stuff to me. You can keep your emotions. If you weren't I would have taken them away and left you a lifeless husk. It really sucks being a lifeless husk, but, you know, you wouldn't really care because you wouldn't have any emotions. I think mine isn't that bad of a curse, really. I mean, you don't _care _anymore so you can't feel bad about it."

"Thanks for not doing the husk thing. I don't think I'd like that."

It beamed, rarely used to being thanked. "You're welcome, but you wouldn't _not _like it. You wouldn't feel anything about it."

"Right and…and I'd be really thankful if you didn't change Misty tonight and just changed her back to normal." he said, smiling his best smile.

"I wish I could, because I really like you, but you have to learn your lesson first. If you tell me why you want Misty changed back to normal, I'd be happy to do it. Then you'd be happy. And you can only feel happy because I gave humans happiness. You should be very grateful to me, for that and for not turning you into a husk. I do that to almost everyone you know. I think I might not do it even if you weren't the Chosen One."

"Really? That's awfully nice of you."

"Though I probably would."

(_Isn't that wrong?_) Pikachu demanded, leaping onto Ash's shoulder. (_Legendaries like you are supposed to be role models. I mean, you're just under Arceus! You should be the creatures that tell little ones what to do. Punish if you must, but don't you think you've gotten a little out of hand? You're using Misty to teach him a lesson, punishing her because of something _he _did wrong. Shouldn't you find a better way to do this than hurting people he cares about? For goodness sakes, even if she _was _his mate she's still a living being! You can't mess with life like this._)

"I don't care about Misty," Ash argued.

(_That's nice, Ash. Well, Legendary?_)

Mesprit hovered unsteadily in the air, seeming to move up and down and back and forth a little faster than usual. "Well, with that in mind, I can't really stop at this point. I have to keep going. I mean, what's the point of stopping now? I've already messed with her so it won't make a difference. And…and I really like people, I really do, but this always seems to be the best way to get their attention! I promise to try extra, extra hard not to screw her up."

(_You weren't trying before?_) she yelped.

"I, uh…See! That's a positive thing! I learned a lesson today and probably won't mess with people like this ever again! I mean, you helped future generations! And…and…and I was trying extra hard before, but, I mean, if I had screwed her up before it'd be kind of sad, but it wouldn't be the end of the world. Now I know it'd be really sad if I did because she didn't even do anything wrong."

"It wouldn't be sad!" Ash cried. "It'd be terrible!"

Mesprit snorted, shaking its head and relaxing a little more once again. "Well, I wouldn't say _that_. I mean, there's so many of you I don't think one would be all that tragic, unless she's the Chosen One. She's not the Chosen One, right?"

"I just _told_ you I was the Chosen One!"

"Maybe she's another one." It shrugged. "Sometimes we accidentally get one or two at once. Stranger things have happened. You would know. Anywho, if you went all this to stop you just have to admit you like Misty the way she was."

Ash's face wrinkled up. "But why would lying help?"

"It's not a lie, you idiot. This is why we're trying to teach you a lesson!" It carried itself higher, prouder, looking like the kid who had just become king of the mountain before he saw the kid behind him crawling up to push him right off. "I'm a Legendary of emotion, you know. I can see your feelings. There's no use hiding anything from me. I'm like an emotion detector, except you can't fool me _ever_."

"So?"

It focused in, double checking. Yes, there was definitely some romantic feelings towards the girl there, and they were just large enough that they had to be noticeable. He had to get excited when she walked in the room, thought about handholding and kissing and all the other silly stuff humans tended to think about. Still, he certainly didn't look like he was lying. The creature tried to clarify, asking, "You're the one who came up with lightning armor? You're the infamous Ash Ketchum who saved the world a million times and continues to come back from the dead?"

He nodded. "Yup."

"I'm the legendary of emotions. I'm going to ask you a question, no one can find out your answer but your pokémon and me. I can see all your emotions and there's _no _way you could ever hide them from me. So I'm going to ask: do you like her?"

"No! For the millionth time no!" he shouted, blushing to the roots of his hair.

"Un_can_ny."

(_Isn't it though?_) she agreed with a sigh.

"Well, I've told you everything I can, and I don't even mean everything I'm allowed. I mean, I told you the answer and you still don't get it. You need someone else to tutor you because there's _no way _I can help you anymore. I have to go and help change everyone for you tomorrow morning. So, well, just do the right thing and everything will go back to the way it's supposed to be, I promise."

"But-" Ash began, taking another step forward.

"Silly boy, stop being so curious!"

With a tap to his skull, Ash suddenly didn't care very much. In fact, he hardly cared at all. The subject didn't seem very interesting anymore. He just wasn't _curious _about the whole thing. With his curiosity gone, he was now able to realize he was exhausted from staying up so late and getting so excited. So up he crawled back into his bunk, curling up and falling asleep instantly, leaving Pikachu to bound over to him, back fur bristling.

(_What did you do to him?_)

"Took away his curiosity. Don't worry. He'll have it back by the morning."

She turned away, giving his cheek a little lick. (_He better._)

"Is that a threat?" it asked. "You're not supposed to threaten me. May I remind you your powers come from-"

She spun back, fur completely puffed out now. (_Arceus! _You _are a minor godling, and my strength did not come from you. I've taken on _far _bigger beasts than you and I've won against them too! Ash comes first, _always_, and much before a godling like you. If Arceus had to make a choice I wouldn't doubt that you'd die before Ash would! He better be back to normal by morning or I'll tell everything I can and they'll come after your head._)

It sighed. "I promise that he will."

(_He _better.) she snorted, then softened as she turned to look at him. (_He'd better._)

Thankfully, he was. He woke up with only Pikachu beside him that morning (who continued to snore on), and he thought for a while about his wish. He was pretty sure he had wished she wouldn't care, and he was a bit nervous as his imagination carried him away. There were a lot of things she wouldn't care about anymore. Maybe she wouldn't care about her pokémon, or battling, and he was sure she wouldn't care for him or any of their friends. Maybe she wouldn't care about living anymore. She wouldn't kill herself, would she? No. Mesprit had promised Misty wouldn't be screwed up.

…Well, Mesprit had promised it would _try_ extra, extra hard, which suddenly seemed much less assuring then it had last night.

Still, he didn't want to get out of bed and find out. Although it was bad enough to see a dead Misty in his head it would be a hundred times worse to see it for real. But he couldn't stay in all day. He had to check things out for himself, had to make himself breakfast, had to move on with his life. These were all things he hated very, very much, and he would have preferred to stay in bed had it even been a normal day. So, grumbling and groaning to no one in particular, he swung his legs out of bed, touched his feet to the floor and wandered down the stairs.

"Morning, dear," Delia said, smiling. "How'd you sleep?"

"Didn't." He walked over to a chair and fell heavily into it, his head falling back and eyes sliding closed. "Couldn't. Not until late at twelve and now I woke up and it's only eight."

"Eight hours of sleep, how terrible." She chuckled. "Didn't you try warm milk?"

"Too tired to move."

Which obviously wasn't the case, but you can't just tell your mother that your best friend has recently been taken over by Legendaries from a far away region who seem to be trying to teach you a lesson or just have some fun and you have no idea how to prevent it all from happening.

After all, when you start saying crazy things like that, most mothers would either check you into a mental hospital or check for a fever. Delia would whistle and reply with a "that's nice dear" in an attempt to shield herself from the many, many times Ash got into trouble. Ash didn't want to make his mother any more nervous (or have any more mysterious gaps in her memory where she had blocked away the bad thoughts) so he politely kept his mouth shut.

"Well, if it brightens you up I made pancakes," she said cheerfully. "I made you smiley face pancakes! There's eggs and bacon and sausage for you too, if you like. Everyone else already ate. Brock and Dawn went off to the mall and I don't have any clue where Misty went. They said they'd be there until late, so you're free to go after them after breakfast. I'm sure you'll have plenty of fun."

"I don't really like shopping," he argued. "I just wanna go to bed."

"I understand, dear."

He paused, watching his mother set the smiley face in front of him. It was a small stack of pancakes with two eggs for eyes, a sausage nose, and a piece of bacon turned up in a smile. After a bit of contemplation, Ash calmly flipped the bacon over so the face was sad, and (although accidental) poured his syrup in rivers of tears flowing down its pancake cheeks. Ash decided the pancake was trying to sympathize with him and would gladly give its pancake life to make him feel better.

Finally, he spoke, wishing he had chosen his words more carefully: "Misty…she's not dead or anything, is she?"

"Of course she's dead, Ash."

"_What_?" he cried, his fork freezing on the way to his mouth and the pancake's egg eyes seeming to widen with alarm.

She chuckled to herself, continuing to clean the plates in the sink. "Weren't you the one who told me she was an emotionless zombie just the other day? If she's a zombie, she's dead. Which reminds me, Ash, have we got an escape plan for if zombies ever attack? I don't think we do. You need to be prepared if there's a zombie apocalypse. I don't think I can let you leave the house again until you're fully prepared."

He blinked, trying to relax. "You want to talk about zombies?"

She smiled again and sat down, ruffling his hair. "I want to get your mind off of whatever made your pancake cry. I think talking about the undead could sway your attention for a little while. Now, tell me, what weapons should we use?"

Zombies were a comfortable topic for him. Aside from the fact that she was an emotionally dead zombie, he didn't have to think about Misty. He could think about his mother and how lucky he was to have a mother as fun as she was, who would sit down and discuss how to protect himself from the undead for an hour and a half, all to keep his mind off something she wouldn't force him to talk about. He really did love his mom.

At the end of the conversation, with his undying love in mind, he told her: "You're awesome."

She picked up the plate with a smile and wandered to the sink. They clattered lightly as she dumped them in and went about her scrubbing. "I love you too, sweetheart. If you still want to talk, I'm here."

"I think I ought to find Misty," he murmured halfheartedly. He traced his finger along the color in the wood. "I should see how she is. It seems to me like she's going to end up doing something bad since she's an emotionally dead zombie and all. I mean, you don't want anyone to kill themselves or something like that, even if it's someone you don't know. It's always really sad."

She sighed, scrubbing a dish a little harder than it needed to be scrubbed. "You can't crack her open, Ash. I know it's exciting to try and fix someone as messed up as she is, but there are some people who just can't be changed."

He chuckled. "Oh, I'm pretty sure she can be changed."

"Ash," she said warningly.

"I hear you mom," he said, swinging out of his chair. "I hear you loud and clear!"

He heard her, sure, but he didn't really listen. He immediately rushed off to find the zombie, but he couldn't think of a good place for an uncaring person. If you didn't care, there really wouldn't be somewhere you wanted to go. She could have been deep sea fishing for all he knew. The only place he thought you could find someone uncaring would be in front of the TV, but she wasn't there when he checked. After searching the house and the grounds, he raced back to the kitchen, then tried to think of a good question that would help him locate Misty.

His mother was sitting at the kitchen table, biting a nail absently as she focused in on her romance book. She looked up at him briefly when he charged in, then turned back without much thought. "She said it was too hot, if that helps. She might have gone some place to get cool."

"Maybe she went to the beach."

"No. She would have gone with Brock and Dawn. She left at the same time as them. The beach is on the way to the mall, remember?"

"Not really."

"I'm surprised she wasn't in the cellar. That's where she usually is, especially when it gets hot like this. It's the coldest place we have."

"The bomb shelter? Why'd she go there? It's so creepy down there! She hates creepy places like that!"

"Oh, Ash, didn't you check?" she sighed in an exasperated tone, setting her book down. "She _always_ goes downstairs!"

"Aren't there bugs down there?"

"I don't think so. She probably wouldn't see them if there were." She blinked, her hands coming from the book and coming up to her mouth, which had slowly fallen open. The thought had never occurred to her before, but she did remember that Misty was afraid of bugs. Why would someone with a fear of insects go some place that had to be teeming with them, if not of the pokémon then of the animal variety? It seemed awfully illogical.

"Yeah. Real strange," he agreed, missing the point as he almost always did. "Who hangs out in a bomb shelter?"

"People being attacked during a war and Misty. I just can't believe I've never thought of the bugs before! You're right, Ash. It doesn't make any sense for her to hang out down there. We should hear her shrieking and running around every few minutes if she's hanging out down there."

"If Misty really doesn't care about anything, she'd make a great soldier. Too bad there's no way we could ever test it out. I bet you could shoot her and she'd just keep going until her body wasn't capable anymore."

"But she wouldn't have any drive to fight because she wouldn't care." She chuckled at her son's surprised face, proud that not all her logic had slipped away from her. "Go check in the cellar, Ash. It's where you should have checked first."

"_Bomb shelter!_" he cried back, rushing out the door.

The air was fresh and bright, but he wouldn't get to hang out there for too long. He had to race around to the back and yank open the two metal doors that led down to their basement. Down there, the air was thick with humidity and smelled old and rotten. He could hardly stand staying down there for too long when he was a kid and had to make frequent trips outside during his bomb shelter games. But, he guessed, if she didn't care it wouldn't be a bad place to get cool.

He glared into the darkness. There was a light bulb in there, but he guessed she hadn't care enough to bother to turn it on. If she wasn't down there, he didn't much want to creep inside. The smell would be worse, and after the time he found a dead something or other he held a slight fear of the place. So, instead, he called out and hoped she would care enough to call back. "Misty, you down here?"

"Yeah."

"Shouldn't close the doors behind you," he reprimanded, looking at the shadows to try and find her. With the direction of her voice, he guessed it was on the wall to his right. "You could get stuck. You could end up dying before anyone would have realized you were down here. You can't hear much from outside when the doors are closed."

"Whatever."

"Not whatever, I'm serious. Mom used to yell at me about it all the time."

"Okay, I could die, whatever. It was hot and it's cool when the doors are closed. So I closed the doors. It's not rocket science. I only do whatever my basic needs are. Eat, sleep, go to the bathroom, get cool. I'm not gonna put a lot of effort into it." She sighed. "I don't care enough for that."

"Well, don't do it anymore. It's really dangerous, and _we _care if you die." He still couldn't see her, and he wasn't sure if his eyes were adjusting or not. Either way, he didn't think it would matter much if he could see her. She probably would have an expressionless face. Still, there was still a spark. She wasn't a lifeless husk today, and she had to care about some stuff if she wanted to get cool and eat and things like that.

"Alright. I'll try not to since you're so worked up about it."

He frowned. "I hate you."

"Great."

His frowned deepened more, and he tried a different strategy: "I love you."

"Even better."

"Let's get hitched."

"As long as I don't have to move, pick a date."

"You really don't care, do you?" He sighed, sitting down on the grass. "I can't believe there's nothing that you care about. Everyone has to care about something. You'd just die if you didn't. I mean…come on, Misty. Isn't there anything you care about? Anything that'd make you _react _somehow. There's got to be emotions that are extreme enough to push through all this! I mean, they can't change everything!"

"Don't care."

"Don't care, huh? Don't care about me, don't care about how anyone. You don't care about what they say or think or what you say or think and you don't care whether or not fairies are real or what the square root of negative one is or anything. You don't even care about the spider on the ceiling right above your head."

A moment later, she had shrieked and streaked across the room to hide behind him and his cocky smile. There were definitely wide eyes and an open mouth and deep fear in her face. There was definitely emotion there. She still had her fear, and that hadn't changed. Despite how radically different the uncaring Misty was from the regular one, there was still a shred of her left. They had to leave her something in order not to screw her up.

"It's funny how it sounds an awful lot like you care."

"Get it out! Get it out! Kill it, put it outside, I don't care! Wait! Don't put it outside! I'm outside! Just…just make it go away!" she cried, clutching to him tight.

"Scared?"

"Terrified!"

"I think I found a mistake in this whole crazy plan. I can't wait to tell Pikachu."

"Could you just kill the damn spider already!"

"Misty, I can't _see_. It's too dark in there." He turned and grinned at her frozen face. "Not that you care, right?"

"I _don't_ care."

He smirked. "Liar."

And with that, he left. He was very proud of himself, having figured out that there was quite a loophole in the Legendaries' plans. He felt very smart, and immediately raced up to tell Pikachu about it. No need to tell Brock anymore. He didn't want to have to convince Brock every day. Sure, he couldn't understand pikachu speak perfectly, but he still thought that she was more helpful or at least _better _to talk to. She seemed excited enough when he filled her in, and was happy to go to the mall with him so he could meet up with the rest of his friends.

He discovered that he still hated shopping, but he didn't mind it as much. He was much too excited to be grumpy and both his friends picked up on it. The mall became a playground soon enough, and a lot more fun was had than just picking out items to waste their money on. It was, in fact, the kind of fun that the mall didn't like and kicked them out for, but the beach tolerated just fine. And when the sun went down and they were through splashing in the surf, they raced back to the house, where they went to bed.

"I cracked the case and now I'm going to catch the murderer. I'm like the best detective there ever was and no one's ever gonna remember or believe me when I tell them what happened, but it won't matter, because you'll know and I'll know, right Pikachu?"

(_Hopefully we'll both remember, but you won't do much of anything if you sleep in until night. You ought to go to sleep, Ash,_) Pikachu scolded, curling up by his hip. (_If I'm this tired you have to be twice as much._)

"Careless Misty was way too boring. I think I want her to care," he remarked to himself, closing his eyes. A moment later he sprung up straight, crying, "I wish she would _care! _I want her to _care _about me!"

(_And you wished again,_) Pikachu pointed out dryly.

"Mewdammit, I just wished Misty would care!" He slammed his palm into his forehead. "And that means there's something wrong with me on _loads _of levels."

(_I can_-)

"No comments from the peanut gallery," he muttered, falling back in bed and glaring up at the ceiling. "I may have wished, but it doesn't matter, because I'm going to solve the mystery. I'm going to put everything back the way it was and everything's going to be perfect. I'm going to play the game my way, and I'm not going to let them push me around. I'm going to set all this right, Pikachu. I have to."

His heart fluttered nervously in his chest and he tried to breathe slow to calm it. It wouldn't settle down. It wanted to get out of the situation as bad as he did, and he really couldn't blame it. He didn't know if he could win a mind game, if that's what this was. He wasn't good at mind games, and it didn't make him feel right that it was someone else's fate he was gambling with. He didn't want Misty to lose out because he wasn't good enough. He had to win it, because he couldn't pay the price if he lost. He just had to win.

"I _have _to."

**

* * *

**

One of my stories was stolen recently. :D That's so friggin' awesome! Not only was it stolen, but people knew it was stolen! I feel so famous! Thanks to everyone who reviewed the stolen story! I really love my reviewers, I really do.

**TO REVIEWERS: **You don't need to give me ideas for the next "emotion". I have this all laid out, it'll be ten chapters, and I need these specific ones. This is because I'm A) trying to get Misty farther and farther from her actual self and B) it's not all that easy to give something Ash would suggest in the dialogue. I have to lead into it, and that's a little more challenging then it looks. I'd appreciate it if everyone stopped suggesting it.

**FOR THOSE WHO CARE: **-sniffles- Why do all the things I hate get the most praise? I mean…you all know this story is basically crap, right? In terms of description and character development and plot and in characterness and all that jazz it sucks. I knew it would too, because it's a fun idea, an interesting idea, but I wouldn't call it a good idea. Heck, for the past few chapters it was the same basic formula (get a new emotion, react to it, talk with Brock, go on a date, wish for a new one, hate self) and then I tried to change it up…and everyone freaked on me! I love you all to death, I really do, it's just thought provoking.


	7. Caring

**Caring**

He woke up that morning incredibly warm, warm enough that he fell right back asleep. Sure, he was usually a comfy temperature, but something was different about it today. Something was definitely better about it. As he woke up for the second time, he tried to figure out what it was. He knew it was definitely warmer than usual, almost hot. His bed seemed comfier too, softer. As he woke up further, he realized there was something that felt like ropes wrapping around his waist and holding him tight. As he thought about it further, he realized they felt an awful lot like arms.

With that revelation and the idea of a caring Misty in mind, Ash became much too petrified to even think about opening his eyes. Contrary to the common boy's perspective, a girl in his bed was by no means, a nice present to wake up to. He was quite terrified of anything that had to do with love stuff. It made you weird and stupid, and he was well aware he couldn't afford to get more of either.

(_Morning, Ash. How's the latest wish?_) Pikachu chirped, eyeing her obviously awake and frightened master.

Ash tried very, very hard to convince himself that he was asleep, that he was dreaming and this was some sick and horrible, horrible nightmare. He did this by closing his eyes very tight, clenching his teeth, and tightening up all his muscles so he could relax and fall back asleep. Maybe if he managed to do so, the next time he woke up she would have been bored with him and would have moved on.

(_You're awake, Ash, promise. Misty's cuddling with you._) She began to fake cry, burying his head in her tiny little paws. (_I feel just like Delia! My little boy is growing up so fast! Soon you'll be holding hands and kissing and making love in cornfields and I'll never see you again!_)

Understanding enough to catch her gist, he attempted to sit with a violent: "Shut up!"

"_Ash! _Don't go! I thought you were comfy! You hardly ever do this!" Misty cried, cuddling closer. Her head dropped to the base of his neck, giving her the perfect spot to breathe down the slight opening in his shirt and send goosebumps all over him. She murmured, "It's alright, Ash. I'll watch the clock and you can sleep as long as you want. We can just lie here together if you want."

That soft, sugar sweet voice she used was strangely soothing and his body seemed unsure of how to react. First, he was very intimate with a girl, which was very exciting and nervous making and frightening. Second, that girl was acting very sweet, almost as if she was peanut butter or chocolate or some other comfort food. These were two very conflicting emotions, and he needed to decide which to act upon. His brain was no help, as it had stopped working all together, and his body wasn't quite ready to leave yet. This left him sitting stiffly on the bed, staring intently on the spot on the wall and focusing intently on her cool breath.

(_Why don't you ask her why she's in your bed, Ash_?)

"Whuh…" he began, swallowing thickly. He forced himself to ignore her body resting against his, her soft arms clinging tight around his neck. "Why did you…?"

"Come into your bed?" she supplied. He dipped his head the barest centimeter in confirmation. "We didn't do anything, don't worry. We all know that you didn't sleep well last night and tonight I noticed you were shivering. I thought I could come into your bed and warm you up. You were" – she giggled – "_very _responsive to say the least."

"What's that supposed to me-oh. Oh, um, I'm awake now so you can go," he said with a nervous laugh, attempting to pull away.

She only clung tighter, getting up on her knees so her ducked down head was at his ear, whispering, "What if I don't _want _to go, Mr. Pokémon Master? And what if I was pretty sure you didn't want me to either. It's been such a long time since we've seen each other and you could probably use a little _training_. I don't think you've forgotten your strategy last time, hmm?" She giggled again and sat on her heels, gently kissing a bare spot on his collarbone.

He yelped loudly and twisted away, falling off the bed in the process. "Misty! You shouldn't…you…you can't-"

"Why not?" she pouted playfully from his bed, legs kicking over the edge. "We do this all the time and you've never been _this _nervous before. Well, except for maybe that first time. You were a _wreck _then. It was hilarious!"

"Wait! Before? How long?"

"Since we started going steady!" She laughed. "It's been at least four years now."

(_Oh, _wow! _I did not think they would have thrown a curve ball this late in the game. They're really driving the point home!_) And she laughed too, much to his dismay.

"This isn't funny! This is serious! I'm not any good at this romance stuff! I don't want to hurt you, Misty, but I can't do this stuff. I think whatever relationship we've been having for the past…_four years _needs to end now because…I'm no good at this." He smiled reassuringly, attempting to quote every break up he'd ever seen. "You could do better than me."

"Oh," she said softly, climbing off the bed and striding towards him. "It's _that_ again.'

"What again?" He asked. His voice was shaking, and he didn't like it.

She sat in front of him, hands on his shoulders, and said very slowly and importantly: "I love you. I've _always _loved you. I don't want you to be stronger or faster or smarter or better at all the romance. I want you for you. I know you think you're bad at kissing or bad at feeling me up or whatever, but I like that you still have trouble getting my bra off. It's cute. I think it's funny that every once in a while you forget how to kiss. I like that. You're not a fairy tale but things are much, much, more interesting with you."

His throat clenched. "You sound like you've done this before."

"Too many times to count. I have it written down in case I need to email it." She smiled and rested her forehead on his.

He backed away, not too far as her hands were still on his shoulders, and stumbled out yet another excuse: "Misty, listen, you don't understand. I mean, I'm really, really no good with this romance stuff. I'll say something wrong and you'll get upset and I don't want that to happen."

"And how many times do I have to tell you I don't care? We're only kids, Ash. The fact that we're in love is more than enough in a relationship."

"Love?" he squeaked. "Don't you think this is all a little…a little fast for that?"

She chuckled and, ever so delicately, tilted her head and kissed him, hands sliding up from his shoulders to his chin. She hadn't slammed her mouth onto his, nor was so light he didn't know she was there, but a practiced, perfect pressure as her tasteless lips kissed his. She had done this before, or thought she had. This wasn't a real first kiss, he guessed, but he didn't think the last one counted either.

Still, this one was Misty. This wasn't the weird science version of her, this could _be_ her. This was Misty on a good day. Here was the girl that comforted him after a major loss and danced with him at parties. What's more, this very real Misty had a very real passion. This swept away his mind, like a real kiss would. This was where his heart stopped beating and his eyes closed and his palms got sweaty. This was where she began to pull away, but he would push forward, kissing her until he had to take a breath.

"That felt like love." She sighed a bit dreamily, then opened her eyes. "Don't you think?"

He didn't want to open his eyes, he didn't want to lose the tingling feeling. He knew she would be gone in a moment, and he'd probably lose the chance completely in another twenty four hours, but his first introduction to romance was definitely more than enough for him. "That was _incredible_."

"Thank you." She giggled, giving a little kiss to his nose. "Glad you're feeling better. You get some more rest and I'll come check on you later, alright?"

(_You really enjoyed that then?_) Pikachu smirked as Misty's footsteps faded down the stairs.

"That was…wow." He fell back on his carpet with a childish giggle and stared up at his ceiling. "It's like flying on Charizard."

(_Can't believe you liked a kiss. I never would have thought you had it in you. When she pulled away I thought you'd wipe your mouth on your sleeve, you know? You really are growing up, aren't you?_) She sighed and settled down feeling like the world was pressing down on her shoulders. (_Growing up, spending more time on romance and falling in love with…It's not that I want you as a mate, but I can't help but be a bit jealous. I can't help hating her a little._

(_I really think I might lose you._)

They were both very quiet for a while, every once in a while Ash would mumble something strange about how shocked he was that kissing wasn't disgusting. The fact that kissing wasn't disgusting took much greater priority over the fact that he had finally kissed a girl and had enjoyed it very much. For years he'd been instructed by all his male companions that kissing was gross and a way for girls to control guys like crazy slaves. He didn't want to be a slave to a girl, but it didn't feel like being a slave. Not at all.

(_Ash!_) Pikachu cried suddenly, leaping to her feet as she gawked out the window. (_Ash, you'll never guess who's walking up the road!_)

"I'd say Gary, but he'd be driving in his hot red car. Y'know, I bet he _lied _about the kissing. I bet he likes it too, and he just didn't want to tell me because he knew I'd like it too. Gary's such a jerk. I can't wait to rub it in his face that I kissed a girl."

(_And you liked it. The point is it's _Daisy _walking up the road. Come on, you know the words for 'walking' and 'road', you've got to know Misty's sister! _Daisy! _Come on, it's a flower!_)

Pikachu spun in a circle and gestured madly towards the window, but Ash was now very focused on Gary lying to him. It was as if it was an entirely new phenomenon. It wasn't, but she knew that Ash tended to be a bit too gullible for his own good. So, with a good, strong charge up, she zapped him to a nice blackened state and continued to call and beckon him forward until he finally groaned and rolled to his feet, crawling to the window.

His eyes immediately widened. "That's _Daisy_!"

(_Yeah. It's _Daisy._ Whoever would have thunk it! _Daisy _showed up and I was telling you that _Daisy _was walking down the road! Of course you never noticed, not in your hormone crazed state._) She stuck her cold nose in his ear, making him shriek in a feminine manner and leap into the air. (_Don't you think you should greet her?_)

"What's she going to say when she sees Misty?"

(_What the fudge have you done to Little Sister?_)

"She's going to kill me!" he wailed, collapsing back to the floor. "I finally found out kissing doesn't suck and now I'm going to get killed. You…you know I bet sex is fun too and the guys were lying about it! I bet it isn't just a way for girls to control guys and I bet it's more for just making babies and now I'm never gonna find out! I finally get why people keep crying about how they don't want to die a virgin!"

(_As a boy, I have to say that you're supposed to discover that younger than this. Honestly, do you even realize the fun you can have with that thing in your pants?_)

"I don't want to die a virgin!" he shouted, covering his eyes with his arms.

It was convenient that he did so, because at that moment Misty wandered in, doing her best to keep the giggles in. She crept around him, sure to step close to his head but off to the side, and carefully leaned down to his ear to whisper, "Don't you think _that's _a little fast, Mr. Pokémon Master?"

He shrieked in a feminine manner again, sitting up quickly and hardly missing her head as he did so. Misty was broken. He had been kissed. Her sister was going to kill him. He was going to die a virgin. All in all, he was having a pretty bad day and he really wished that he had just stayed in bed and played video games all day. Well, she had turned up in bed with him, so that wouldn't have worked. Maybe he should have just never made the wish.

Or maybe he should have just paid her back for the damn bike a week in so she would have left him alone and he wouldn't have this problem. Why couldn't he have been dealing with Celebi? Why couldn't he be dealing with…well, Celebi was the only one that'd be useful. Maybe he should have just taken any other legends because none of the others would ever do something so cruel and unusual to him.

"Gees, you're jumpy. What's wrong?"

"_Nothing_," Ash blurted. "Everything's going fine! Hey, wanna make me a sandwich or…or something that involves you doing something else?"

"You hungry? I can make more than a sandwich, but I'd really like it if you could come with me." She leaned forward and kissed his nose gently, ignoring his low, quiet whine. "I want to keep an eye on you, see if I can figure out what's making you jumpy. I can't do that if you're up here and I'm down there."

(_Hey, Misty, your sister's here. You should go down and say hi to her in a really loving way,_) Pikachu hummed, leaping to the floor and wandering to the door. (_Oh, Ash, we're going to have fun today!_)

"My sister's here?" She got to her knees and peaked out the window. "Daisy! _Daisy's _here! That's weird. I didn't think she'd…wow. I wonder why she's here. Ten to one says it's probably because they have to tend to the gym. It's not like they're _terrible _at it. I don't know what they can't just handle this stupid stuff for a week. It's _fun_."

She got up to leave with a sigh, which turned into a scream as she was tackled into the floor by a terrified Ash. He honestly had no idea what to do anymore, and though clutching to her ankles didn't seem to be the best idea, and it didn't seem like it would slow her down much, all he could do was clutch to her very, very tight, stare at the far wall, and throw the switch on his brain into hyper drive as to what he could do. Nothing seemed to arise from this cramming for a while, and he was too consumed in thought to listen to her complaints.

He finally decided he would jump up, run to the door, slam it close to slow her down, race outside, grab Daisy, drag her into the woods and talk all of it over there. It sounded sound in his head, so he attempted it. The attempt did not go well, as he tripped when he jumped up, and Misty simply escaped down the stairs before he could catch her. He jumped up again, not tripping this time, raced down the stairs as planned and witnessed the extremely awkward, one sided meeting of the two.

"Hey, Daisy!" Misty threw herself into the elder, hugging her close with a bright smile. "How are you?"

The blonde stood awkwardly, staring down at her sister's head. "I'm…fine. Are you…did you eat something weird?"

"No."

"You sure?" She winkled her nose.

"Yes! I'm very sure!" She laughed, releasing her. "You're being as weird as _Ash _today. Speaking of weird, what did you come over for? You never come over here. You don't know Ash well enough to come visit him and I don't know if you've even seen Mrs. Ketchum. You don't know Dawn and I can't see what you'd need Brock for."

She snorted. "Like, what do you _think_? You've been here for a week, Mist. I, like, came here for you, but I didn't want to run into you acting all weird. You're not playing some joke on me just because we had a stupid argument, right?"

Ash jogged the few steps to close into Daisy, tugging her down and going up on tiptoe to whisper in her ear: "I know she's weird, but it's because there's Legendaries screwing with her head. She's caring today, and she's got a different personality every day, whatever I wish for. And, I mean, I just keep wishing even though I don't mean to. She's just so frustrating! I mean, not that she's a terrible person or anything but-"

"You're, like, rambling."

"Right," he said with a nervous cough. "Point is, Misty's only messed up because of the Legendaries, and she'll get better soon, so you don't need to worry and she's definitely not mad at you. She doesn't know she's screwed up, and neither does anyone else, because the Legendaries keep erasing everyone's memories and making them think she was always whatever way she is now. Does that make sense?"

"No," she growled.

"Told you he's been acting weird," Misty said, slinging her arms around him and pulling him to the table. "You should sit down. You haven't been able to stand upright all day. You're probably getting sick."

He sat down, and Daisy sat down, though her actions were a lot rougher. Misty hadn't let him go, however, not to make a sandwich or do anything else that might leave him and Daisy to discuss it alone. It only made the entire situation tenser than it should have been, with her cheery, loving attitude spicing up the things unsaid.

"Why are you all clingy to Ash?" Daisy asked uncertainly, suddenly beginning to chew on her bottom lip. Her body had stiffened, and Ash could see the muscles in her arms tighten as she grabbed her jean shots tight under the table. "Did you…you, like…you, like, lost a bet or…or something, right?"

"No!" She laughed, cuddling closer to the frowning boy She tapped her nose to his cheek, tenderly closing her eyes before focusing back on her sister. "Ash has been feeling down about the stuff he's usually down about so I thought I'd try to cheer him up. I mean, look, he's still frowning! I know it might seem a little…" She paused, trying to choose the right word. "It's _open_ for me, but it's not crazy."

Daisy hissed, lowering her chin to mere inches above the table, as if doing this and dropping her voice would somehow only allow Misty to hear, though Ash was technically closer. "But you don't…you don't, like, _do_ this kind of stuff in public. And you'd never do this much for Ash! It'd, like, be pushing it if you did, like…like all this for the pokémon or _us_!"

"I told you." Ash sighed and attempted to shake Misty off a bit. She didn't move, so he sighed again and plunged on: "They changed her, and if you stop here tomorrow night you'll probably forget in the morning too. It's been like this for a while now. I can't figure out how to stop it.

"Well, you'd better! That's my sister! How could you just roll over and, like, let them do that to her? You're Ash mewdamned Ketchum! This should be _fixed _already if it involves you, so fix it!" She shouted, jumping to her feet.

"Calm down, Days! Don't yell at him. Even if he _was _coherent, he's not some supernatural hero. He's just a boy just like you're a girl and an ordinary human. It's doesn't matter anyway. He's been delusional all week, practically. He doesn't know what he's talking about. Poor guy's been rambling about how bad he feels about everything all day. Won't let me kiss him anymore either."

'What?" she shouted. "You're Little Sister! You don't kiss boys! You hit them! We don't _want _you making out with every boy that walks past! You're the special one! You're chaste and no one's even going to see you in a low cut dress until marriage and all that crap and Ash _Ketchum_, what the hell did you do to her?"

"Nothing! It's not my fault! None of this wouldn't have happened if she had just stayed in the Cerulean gym!"

"Oh, so now it's my fault!" She gasped, clenching her fists at her sides. "Don't try to turn this around, Ketchum! It happened under _your_ watch! You should have been looking out for her! You should have locked her up in a box and thrown yourself off a cliff! That's what you're supposed to do with all your stupid friends because _you're _the Chosen One and _you're _the hero and nobody else should be hurt because _you're _a moron!"

He jumped up now, his shoulder clipping Misty's chin as he did so. Still, despite the concern from both sides, neither seemed to care very much for her bruising skin or throbbing jaw line. "I'm not going to lock everyone up just because they're trying to help. I didn't even know anything was going wrong! I can't put them all in a cage all the time! And I'm not trying to blame you! How was I-wait!" He pointed an accusing finger. "_You_ said something to her!"

She took a step back. "I…I didn't!"

"What'd you say to her that made her leave? You did _some_thing that sent her over here." His eyes narrowed. "What'd you _do_?"

"Calm _down_. Gees, you two are getting worked up over nothing! All she said was that I was a mistake. She didn't really mean it anyway, and, besides, what's wrong with that? How many people were planned? Practically never happens, and it's not like anyone ever plans to have four kids, especially not four _girls _in a row."

"Mom always said there was a difference between a mistake and a _surprise_. I was a surprise, most people were _surprises_. You told Misty she was a _mistake_. There's a huge difference! That means they didn't _want _her, that it was _wrong _to have her. It wasn't! I bet they loved her like my mom loves me, so she was only a _surprise_."

"It was…what's the word? Semantics. It's all _semantics._ I might have said it but she says…she knows…You've said and done worse than that!"

"Yeah, but I'm not her _sister_. I'm just a friend. It's completely different when you're related. It matters more then, because you're not supposed to lie. Maybe I could say it, but you can't. I mean, it's not a joke if you say it."

She scowled. "Well, what am I supposed to do? It's not like it mat-"

"Take it back. Tell her the truth."

She glared down at her feet, breathing slowly. "But that _is _the truth. I really wish it wasn't but it is. They really didn't want her. They thought it'd be nice if they had a boy but…it was another girl and…and they didn't want her. I can't lie about that. But…but I was a mistake too, and when the twins came they had meltdowns too. My aunts told me. They were, like, really crappy parents."

"You have a really screwed up family, you know that, right?" Ash asked awkwardly.

"You _still _ruined my sister, so you better change her back so she can kick your ass for stealing a kiss." Her eyes flicked to the redhead and she began to shake. "She's, like, my little sister. You, like, can't ruin her like that. It's not _fair_."

"I'll get right on it. Now that, you know, you explained it to me I should do something. I'll definitely get on it. Because I didn't know there was a problem _before_," he snapped. "What do you think I've been doing all this time! I've been _try_ing to get her back. I don't want her to hit me when she gets back, but that doesn't mean I don't want her back!"

"Calm down, both of you." Misty groaned, rubbing at her jaw. "Gees, Ash, want to hit me harder next time? Whatever the problem is, it won't be solved if you stay all worked up on it. So calm down and you'll get through it. Talk it out or write it down or whatever, but I'm not going to have my family at odds with my boyfriend. Settle it." She didn't sound angry, though, anything but. Sweet.

It made him wonder if they gave her magical powers this time around. Her voice had the same effect as it had that morning, like warm water sliding over his head, down to his feet, but it sure didn't sound like anything _but _Misty. It reminded him of moonlit conversations now, and talks after losses. It felt like comfort and home and _right_, and it felt like Misty was there again. A little more mellow than normal, but still _Misty_.

"We're worried," he told her.

"About what?"

He held her eyes for a moment, mouth hanging open awkwardly. There wasn't any reason _not _to tell her. She wouldn't hit him now, and she probably wouldn't believe him. But, he guessed, there was just as much reason not to tell her - in his mind, more. She wouldn't believe him, so she couldn't help, she'd only help tomorrow, and it was a nice thing to do not to worry her, wasn't it? He hoped so, and answered accordingly: "Don't worry about it. We'll take care of it."

Daisy slammed her fist on the table, seeming strikingly like a blonde version on the girl behind him. Well, at least until she talked. "I think maybe she _should_, like, worry about it! Don't you think it's _her_ problem too?"

"Well, it's not like she can do anything about it. So, you know, we can handle it," Ash mumbled.

"You _should _be able to handle it, Ketchum, considering who _you _are." Daisy stopped her accusations for a moment to try and think, staring fixatedly at the table. "I mean, it shouldn't be hard to do. You've tried wishing for her back, right?"

"Yes. I said, 'I wish Misty was back to normal'." Ash wasn't quite sure if this was true, but he was saying it now and he _thought _that accounted for something. A wish was a wish in any context so far as he knew. "Yeah, I wish Misty was back to normal. Should work, but it doesn't."

"Are you sure?" Daisy insisted.

"No. I sat down and thought for a while, then I decided that I wish Misty was depressed. I wished for her to go back to normal _loads_ of times." Well, he had already started lying, there was no point in stopping anymore. "I wished for her to go back to normal and again and again and again. If she doesn't go back to normal with all of that I don't know what to do. Maybe if I just tried not to make _anything _like a wish."

"You could run if it does work."

Ash wrinkled his face up. "How would that help?"

"Because if she's not back to normal soon I swear to Articuno I'll _kill_ you." She was bent forward over the table, her narrowed eyes on his, her golden hair washed around her very flushed face, her plump lips pulled back thin to reveal deadly white teeth frozen in a snarl. Her hands clenched the table tight, and Ash was once again caught up in the idea that Daisy could very well be a blonde version of Misty.

"You shouldn't be here tonight," he said awkwardly. "They'll probably erase your memory too."

"I won't forget."

"How are you gonna remember?" he cried.

"I'll find a way!" she snapped, eyes unblinking but glistening with tears. "I swear, Ash, I _swear _you better fix this. I want my little sister back and if you don't get her back to me I'll _kill _you. I don't care if the whole world dies with you, it doesn't matter if you're so stupid you can't even save _her_. We already screwed up, we know we screwed up, but none of us had it _easy_. It doesn't mean you did but…"

"Daisy, what if I _can't_?" he whispered.

"If you wanted her back, she'd be back by now! You've gotten everything you ever wanted once you set your mind to it! You're incredible, Ash. Brock thinks you're incredible and we can never get Misty to, like, shut _up_ about you." Her voice cracked and she finally dropped her gaze. "So, like, no, I don't think you do."

"Why wouldn't I want her back? She's my friend!"

"Good question. I know she'd do _anything_ for you, and I…I _know _that you can't…she's, like, a really good girl, okay? You can't live with yourself if you, like…like, you _can't_…" She broke off and spun away, pressing her hands to her eyes to mop up the tears.

He swallowed. "I'm sorry."

With that broke the dam, and with that went the sobs.

**

* * *

**

Ick. That sounded funky in some parts. I don't know how to smooth it out. –sigh-

Today's Topic: Did anyone get a "what the hell" factor from Candice this week? That was just _illogical._ You can't tell from the first two words "Abra is" what the rest of the question is going to _be_. There's _no way_ to know! Not unless you've heard the question before. That was so stupid! I could understand if it was just trivia or you actually had to critically think, but it _wasn't _critical thinking, it was pure guesswork! The question could have just as easily been, "Abra is a pokémon that has an IQ of X. How high is Alazakam's IQ?" That was so incredibly _stupid_. Screw you, Candice. I thought you were awesome in the games and then you _sucked _in the anime. I can't _wait _for Ash to kick your ass with his wicked battle skills!  
I agreed with Brock's little gem of wisdom when he went off on that, but Candice tested it wrong. –pouts-


	8. Depressed

**Depressed**

It hurt like hell, and she wasn't sure why, because Ash _couldn't _have wished for this. He wouldn't have. Regardless, he couldn't have. She'd been with him for most of the day, and he would have been frantic if he'd made another stupid wish. He would have torn down the house if he had wished for this hollow, empty, world-on-her-shoulders feeling. It was a bad one. There was no way he wouldn't have realized it, at the very least Pikachu would have.

Sad wasn't the word for it, she thought. Sadness was different from this absolute pathetic feeling. Suddenly, she wasn't thinking of herself as uglier than her sisters, just ugly. She didn't feel smart anymore – she felt like a moron. She was worthless, pathetic, weak and cruel, and above all, she was so…so this. This feeling, this emotion, whatever it was. The idiot. What had he wished for?

"I don't want to die a virgin," wasn't a wish, "I wish she was normal" didn't work, because she definitely wasn't normal, but…"…like I'd wish she was depressed." _That _would do the trick. Depression would cover the symptoms. The idiot. The jerk. She was going to _kill _him the next moment she saw him, wringing his neck until he went blue. He had her life in his hands and he couldn't think to choose his words so carefully! And she couldn't even hate the moron for it because she was trapped inside her own body. Unable to scream or laugh or cry when she want.

She could see it all, too, feel it all, know that happened, feel the words she didn't want to say tumble out of her mouth. A prisoner in her own mind, and she hated it. She couldn't fight it. She didn't know how though she'd tried everything she could think of. Her body never trembled or twitched at her command. She might as well have been trying to control all of Ash's movements. Oh, and how she heard and _remembered_ it all. She was saving it for when she got out of her bodily prison. Ooh, how she planned on killing that boy, making it bloody too. He was _dead_ for what he was doing to her.

Her body was alone in Ash's closet (as a consequence, so was she), and now it had started to cry. She had to admit, whatever was controlling her body was much better at crying than she was. Her sobs were typically loud and hiccup filled, but this Misty hardly had more than a whimper, clogged nose and tears. She'd still get pretty red and blotchy, that was the price of being a redhead, but she wouldn't mind figuring out how to cry like this. It would be plenty easier to hide when she was having one of those once a month days.

Hiding. That reminded her of Daisy. She had stayed, her with all the others, and they all had a grand old time playing board games. Bored games, more like. Daisy should have gone home, so she wouldn't be stuck inside like everyone else, Daisy should have been _hiding_ at least. She hadn't. She was asleep on the couch and there was no doubt she would have her memory changed by morning. So Ash had hurt her sister as well. Great. She would certainly have to make his murder _extra_ bloody.

So, while her body continued to sob, she turned her attention to her hand. Just a twitch, like she could do the first couple of days. Struggling through to speak, or show her own feelings had become impossible, that was huge steps away. It was best to work on the hand for now. Maybe if she found a way to do that, everything else would become easy. _Clench it…clench it. Don't open, clench _tight_er._

"Hey, Misty?" Ash whispered from the other side of the door.

_You ass! _she spat in her head. She could practically see him, imagining him on all fours, twisting his head so he could try to see through the small opening that ran along the bottom of the door. Once he got sick of that, she bet he would begin moving his head up and down along the side, looking through the slit on the side. She glared at that imaginary Ash, and continued, _Tell me something stupid, just tell me one dumb thing and I'll kill you. I'll hit you so hard your _kids_ will feel it._

"Go away!" her body shouted, curling up tighter. The words had unhooked her enough so the hiccupping sobs started, and Misty sighed that she definitely couldn't take lessons from the body controller now, not if they couldn't keep the crying quiet. "I don't want to talk to you!"

_At least this one'll cause him trouble. Can't believe that last one kissed him, and he kissed back! _

"Why not?" he asked. He sounded nervous, and it served him right.

Meanwhile, Misty was still going on her mental rampage. There wasn't much else to do but fume, because she definitely didn't want to pay attention to her sobbing counterpart. _It's not even _me, _the jerk. That's molestation, I bet. I could probably get him tried in a court for that. First I'll sue him, spend all his money, and then I'll kill him for what he did to me. He deserves it. Hope he gets eaten by a pack of rabid bidoofs._

"Hey, Misty, you're…you're back to normal, right?"

_Yes, Ash. It's so like me to cry in your closet. You're such a freaking moron._

"Yeah, normal as ever." She sniffed and stifled her sobs, taking a second to bite down hard on a shaking hand before she had enough control to continue. "It's not as bad this morning, alright? I'll probably be fine by the afternoon, you know how it goes. Just go away, Ash. I already took my meds."

_Fantastic! I need medication. You're going to make a crack out of that, aren't you? I don't think this me'll like that, but you're going to do it._

"I always knew you needed medication but-"

"You jerk! Get out!" she screamed, slamming her first against the door. Her sobs burst free again and she slid sideways to lay down on the floor.

She heard him jump, and she heard him creep away with his feet light on the floor, like he was trying not to upset her again. She wouldn't have heard his faithful Pikachu leave, but the mouse had just woken up and was a bit clumsy as she went.

They left her alone, crying in the closet. She went back to her hand twitching goal. They were shaking a lot more now, and the right one was a bit sore where she had struck out. The first goal would be to make a good twitch. No point in trying to stop the shaking. She couldn't do that if she had full control. A twitch, one little twitch, was that so much to ask? Apparently so. She was frustrated and frightened, and her mind pounded with the thought, _Why can't I do this?_

To switch from Misty's hand twitching goal to something a bit more interesting, Ash had stopped running about three fourths of the way down the stairs and curled up there, breathing fast. Though the perspectives have changed, Ash's thoughts were pretty identical. What had he wished for to make that? It couldn't be his fault, could it? No. He hoped not. It had to be because he hadn't wished for anything. They just chose the worst thing they could because of it. They just wanted to torture him, all of them. That was the only explanation. He would never have wished for _that_. Who would wish for a friend to be sad? And angry. And need medication. Not him.

(_Ash, are you alright?_) Pikachu asked sleepily. She sat a few stairs above him to rest by his head, almost as if she was sitting on his shoulder.

He blinked up at her then back down at his lap with a sullen whisper of: "It wasn't me."

She thought before speaking, choosing her words carefully though she knew he could barely translate what she was saying. (_It's the Legendaries that did it, really, but you must have wished for it if it happened. It probably wasn't anything on purpose, and you didn't mean it I'm sure, but these things happen._)

"I wouldn't _wish_ for this. Who would wish for this?"

(_Who would do it, more like. Even if you had wished for this, and you had meant it, you would never build a machine to make it happen or catch a pokémon who could do it for you, even if you could. Most would know better than to take a fleeting comment and turn it into something terrible and semi-permanent, especially when it affects several innocent people._)

"It's all my fault," he moaned.

She licked his cheek. (_It _is_ your fault, but it's not all your fault, and there's a big difference in that._)

"I don't get what you said," he whispered.

(_You can fix this. I know you'll be able to fix this. You might have been stubborn in the beginning, but there's no way that you don't want her back now. If you want it, you can do it. That's the way you've always been. I swear, they're just screwing with us now._)

_"_What do they want me to do? I said it, and even if I didn't say it right before I'm saying it right now and I _mean_ it. I want Misty back. I wish I had the real Misty back and I don't want her all messed up. I don't want her changing every day. That's not fair. This isn't fair!"

There was a loud groan from downstairs as the blonde woke up, rubbing the heels of her hands against her eyes. "Life isn't fair. Gees, you really _are_ a whiny teenager, all of you. I hope I wasn't this bad when I was your age. Like, what the hell are you moaning about now?"

He jumped to his feet and started shouting at the top of his lungs, not caring that his mother and friends would wake up and think he was crazy, not caring that no matter how much he yelled at them their memory wouldn't magically come floating back. "Your sister's still screwed up, that's why! You don't remember anything and she's crying in the stupid closet upstairs! All I want to do is just get this over with and it won't stop!

"But Misty doesn't cry…" she said wonderingly. "And…and I do remember. I swear, I remember everything! Misty was all, like, lovey dovey yesterday." She appeared, almost from nowhere, at the bottom of the stairs, practically falling down and gripping the railing like it was her life line. But she had a huge smile to combat Ash's frown, and it was a hopeful one to boot. "And if she's, like, like me, she isn't gone, Ash! She's still here She's stuck but she's still _here_."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean she's, like, really okay. We can get her back and I bet anything that she, like, knows what you have to do to get her back forever! I mean, Misty's smart, right? She knows all the useless stuff like what a greenhouse is made out of. It's not green bricks, it's _glass_, but who needs to know the answer to that stupid riddle anyway?" She shook her head. "Sorry, back on topic, I think I can, like, bring Misty back to normal!"

He laughed, shaky as the excitement began to take over. "It's that simple?"

The smile flickered for a bit, and she stood straighter, choosing to lean against the railing instead of hang off it. "Well, like, almost. There's a bit of a, like…See, for me it's really easy, and I, like, know what I need to do because it's sorta like what you do to meditate, but because it's Misty and Misty's like, complicated and stuff, there's a, uh, like kinda a glitch."

He gulped his stomach back down his throat. "What's the glitch?"

"To, like, uh…to, like, break out of this, like, control thing. Uh, like, you, uh…" She blushed and rubbed the back of her neck. "Okay, don't make fun of me for it, but you have to get into like, this, relaxed state thingy. You sorta have to clear your mind and not really think about anything. Trance-like, y'know? Let your subconscious take over."

He glared. "So you want to throw in you have to eat a bowl of fried maggots?"

"Okay, so it's not Misty's cup of tea, but-"

"Not her cup of tea? It's like the opposite of Misty! Brock told me that my _mom _said she worries too much! She worries more than a _mother _and she's supposed to _calm down _and _not think _when she's already a crazy person to begin with, apparently a crazy person who knows what's going on, and a crazy person who knows what's going on and probably knows I'm the cause of it." He froze. "Oh, Mew, maybe I don't want her back if she remembers."

"Don't _joke _like that!" Daisy snapped. She jogged up the stairs and sat down beside him. "Listen, we've got to at least try, don't we? There's no way you'll figure this one out and I can't help you. I'm not going to pretend I'm smart, and you better not try either. We've got other things. I've got looks and you've got that saving the world thing going for you. Still. I mean, like, when's the last time you solved a riddle?"

His brow knit together, thinking furiously, before his face relaxed once more with a sigh. "I don't think I've ever solved a riddle. In fact, I think I've done the opposite of solve riddles. I looked up gullible in the dictionary because Gary told me it wasn't there. It was there. I didn't get what that meant until somebody told me. Being right wasn't so cool after that."

"And I, like, looked up when Misty said the sky was falling."

"Been there."

"I was inside."

"Ouch. You win."

"I always win stupid contests," she chirped, sticking out her chest with pride. "I win a lot of beauty pageants too. I bet I'd win more if I answered the way they want you to. I never do. I'm not going to lie and say that I want to win the pageant for the starving children. I want to win so boys will send me flowers."

Ash tapped her shoulder, stopping her ramble. "We're supposed to be talking about how to fix this."

"Right. Sorry. So it's, like, pretty obvious that there's no way we're going to solve this on our own. We can't even keep a conversation going straight. We just have to get Mist to calm down and the problem's solved!" She sighed and fell back against the stairs, sprawling her arms and legs out as far as she could. "I've been saying that since she was, like, two and it's never happened."

"That's great. I'm sure this'll all work out just perfect," he muttered, burying his head in his hands. "I don't think she really wants to talk to me, so you go do it. She's crying in my closet and she gets really mad if you try and talk to her. Apparently she needs medication, and she doesn't like it if you make jokes about it."

"You made a joke about her needing meds?"

"Yeah."

"You're a _mor_on."

He glared over his shoulders. "So, I've heard that Tracey only likes girls that have brains in their heads instead of air. Bet you're out of luck."

"You _are _mean when you want to be. Misty was right," she grumbled, pushing up to her elbows. "It doesn't matter anyway. I know she doesn't want to talk to me. She has a freaky stalker crush on _you_, bike wrecker, so you better go tell her. She'll forgive you for anything."

"She doesn't like me, and she won't forgive me for anything." Everyone politely ignored the blush crawling up his cheeks. "She needs to talk to you. You have to apologize. She already knows that she got her stupid bike back and there's no way I'm going to pay for it. At least you know what you're doing with the whole remembering thing."

"And you don't? You remember too!"

"That's because they don't change my memory! I'm the hero, _remem_ber? Gees, you're _dumb._"

"Don't yell at me! I can't help being stupid, okay? You're not supposed to yell at me if I can't help it!" she cried, tugging at a long, loose curl.

"I can't help yelling! I'm upset!"

"I'm more upset! She's my sister!"

"She'd my friend!"

"She's your lover!" she sniggered.

"She is not!"

"Yeah, like, whatever, lover boy."

"I'm not-"

Pikachu flicked her tail and narrowed her eyes and made the fur on the back of her neck puff in hope she would catch Ash's attention, which she did. (_Misty. She's supposed to talk to _Misty_. She's trying to avoid it. I swear I can feel my IQ dropping when I sit between you two._)

"That's right! You're just trying to avoid seeing Misty but you can't do that! You need to help me and you need to apologize for what you did! Go _fix_ Misty so we don't get stuck in this stupid endless cycle where I make a stupid wish and Misty becomes it and no one remembers and the next day we do it again until I finally go crazy or something!"

"Why the hell isn't anyone waking up?" she shouted back, glaring up the stairs. "_Helllloooo! _It's morning! We're yelling! Get uh-up!"

"Just go talk to her!"

"Ugh," she muttered, jogging past him up the stairs. "You owe me big time."

"You're doing this for Misty, not me!"

"Still owe me," she retorted, slamming his door closed behind her. Her eyes did a quick sweep of the room, small, boyish, kiddish, with a bunk bed. Her little sister slept in here. Her little sister slept in here with a _boy_, and suddenly this didn't seem like a very good idea. "So, Misty, we need to talk."

"No! Go away!" her body shouted, no longer crying but simply sulking in the closet.

"I'm talking to Misty, not whatever the hell you are. I think you're a Legendary. I don't mean any disrespect if you're an important one. You're probably not anything _we _worship though. We're more of a Birds family, and none of them are really psychic, except Lugia, I guess. Don't think you're Lugia though."

Inside her little mind cage, Misty perked up. _I can't believe you're okay! You're as ditzy as ever, but you're okay!_

"I want to tell you how to come back, even if it's for a little while but…I think we should talk about this other thing first. How, uh…how you're in this tiny room with Ash. You better not be locking the door. You…no, dammit," she sighed and stared at the closed closet door. "I called you a mistake and I need to say I'm sorry."

_Oh, great. If I could leave, I would. But I can't. Because Ash is a jerk._

She took a deep breath, thanked Mew for the door that hid her sisters face, and said, "See, I can't take it back, even though I really want to. You weren't, like, planned, and Mom and Dad really didn't want you, but Mom and Dad didn't want any of us. They didn't want kids and they didn't like kids and they had at least wanted a boy so dad would have someone to bond with, except you were a girl too, so they were really upset."

"Oh yeah, that makes me feel loads better. Just get the hell out."

"Not talking to you. I'm talking to Misty," Daisy snapped. "Misty, they didn't have much room or time for you, but that doesn't matter, because it's _their_ loss. We were great kids, you're a great kid, and they were the ones who were stupid. They don't matter, we matter, me and Violet and Lily and you and we're a real family. Our parents were morons and better off dead." She paused. "Is that a little harsh?"

_Yes. They weren't parents, is all. They weren't bad people. I could have told you that. I _know _that._

"I like that you were born, and so does Lily and Violet and all your friends. That's what matters."

_Very inspirational._ _Now tell me how to get out of here._

"You're probably rolling your eyes and being sarcastic, but I really mean it. Just remember that you've got lots of people that care about you, so…yeah. Mom and Dad sucked, but that shouldn't matter. So…sorry. Hope you feel better. You were a mistake, but a really awesome one, like silly putty, y'know?"

_Great. I'm silly putty. That makes me feel better, oh wait, no it doesn't! Because I'm depressed because Ash is a stupid moron. Now tell me how to get back into my own body._

"Okay, and if you want to get back to normal you…you need to stop thinking and stop worrying and just _do_. Don't plan anything out, just go, like Ash and me. Just let your autopilot take over. You can't get mad or anything because you'll get dragged back in. You're not good at not thinking. I am, so I can basically do whatever I want!" She laughed.

_So, because I'm not an _idiot_, I'm stuck? That can't be right. You're just _not thinking_. As usual._

"It's the truth, Misty. I know it's hard to believe but I swear it is. If you just calm down and stop thinking or overthinking or whatever it is you do you'll manage to break out and tell us how to stop this. Just try and get relaxed, like when we go in for those massages from Ramon." She scooted closer to the door, lowering her voice. "And I think Ash really wants you back. I really think he likes you but, like, it's not doing _any_thing. We don't know what to do. What does he have to say?"

_He has to want me, really want me back. That's all I know, that's all I've _heard_._

"He's really, really wants you back. I swear. He's really beat up about this. He's practically crying. Sure, he cries easy but he's not a total crier. It still means something when he does." She groaned and sprawled out on Ash's floor. "I know you're in there, and you can hear me. You have to be, because if you're not then none of this matters, and it's _got _to matter because it's, like, really _hard._"

_It's got to matter because it's, like, really hard. Wow._

"And once you figure out what he needs to do, calm down and tell us what's happening. If you just calm down it'll work."

_How am I supposed to calm down when I could kill myself as any given moment? I can't control my body at all and it's all his fault! I'm going to wind up dead because of him! That kiss-stealing, no good, dirty, rotten, little bast-_

"You're probably getting riled up now and getting mad at Ash because it's kinda his fault, but, please, just try to calm down once you've got the answer. It's better than nothing and it's working for me. You trust me enough to believe me, don't you?"

_Hey, Misty, have you ever licked your finger before touching an outlet? Do it! It's fun! Yeah, Daisy, those were good times. Sure I trust you._

She shrugged. "You think too much to begin with anyway."

_"I hate you." _Her body echoed her mind's sentiments for once, though she was positive she hadn't controlled the words.

"Love you, really." She pushed to her feet and rapped her knuckles twice on the door. "So, like, try not to think so much. Well, except to, like, you know…get the answer, I guess."

_You've got such a way with words. _But, as awkward as they had been, the words stuck. Ash wanted her back, said he wanted her back, and it wasn't doing anything, so there had to be something else. She couldn't imagine what it would be though. They were doing this to teach Ash a lesson of sorts, the whole "be careful what you wish for" spiel, she bet. Realizing he had wished for the wrong thing should have instantly brought him back to normal.

What could they be after? He already said he liked her, that he wanted her back. Well, not that he liked her like _that_, but…but…her thoughts came crashing down to one phrase, and she slammed her mental head against a mental wall: _Mewdammit._

(_Hey, Ash?_) Pikachu asked while Ash made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. (_What's going on with everyone? They haven't left yet and they should have woken up with all the screaming. I'm starting to get worried.)_

"Nothing to worry about, they're probably just really heavy sleepers today."

Daisy skipped down the stairs a moment later, flashing her wallet out to him as she went. "Listen, I'm not heading back to Cerulean until Misty's better and _you _are the only person who won't be a total downer to hang around with. I have lots of money from beauty contests winnings, so what do you say we ditch the creepy Misty upstairs and we go have a grand old night on the town? There's stuff to do in Pallet, isn't there?"

"Movies and minigolf," Ash said around a mouthful of sandwich.

"I like movies."

"I saw all the movies."

She scowled. "I'm _not _playing minigolf. Do you have a mall?"

"I'm not going to the mall," he cried. "I hate that place! Once a year is my limit, and that's been used up! I don't know what _you _like to do, because you're a weird girly girl and you're not anything like Misty. It's not like you battle or anything."

She laughed. "I don't battle? Whoever told you that? I'll have you know that I battle just, like, _fine _thank you. I don't go anywhere without a pokémon, and if you'd like, like, want to spend the whole day embarrassing yourself while I kick your butt across the yard, that's cool for me. I haven't met anyone worth embarrassing since you and your group of Pallet Townies came to the gym."

He looked at her suspiciously from the corner of his eye. "And you're so good?"

"Who do you think taught Misty how to battle?"

He finished up his sandwich and rushed outside, already thinking about what pokémon to use against his new opponent. And, while he did so, Brock, Delia and Dawn stayed sleeping in their beds for the whole day, for the whole night. The trio had thought it best to simply keep the others out of the way. No more distractions from them, he simply had to focus on finishing his goal. Daisy would prove to be awfully distracting too.

They were impatient.

Things needed speeding up.

**

* * *

**

Alright, two more chapters left! Everyone excited? I've read this chapter over eight zillion times, but I feel like I'm missing a lot. Guess my brain's frazzled, but next chapter should come out smoother.

This Week's Episode: If you didn't see it, watch it on youtube or something, because there's a part where I think Ash was starting to believe he was psychic, honestly. "I knew he was going to do that! I knew he was going to do _that _too!" I was waiting for him to go, "Do you guys know what this means? I can see the _future_!" I had to pause it for laughing. Oh, and Paul's character got developed, which we kinda already knew, but it got more specific, which was fun. I'm glad he's a jerk with a cause now, instead of generic jerk number one.


	9. Sexy

**Sexy**

Ash was proud of himself. He didn't make a single wish all day, not one. He was very careful with his words and did his very best to not say anything that had to do with Misty. He was pretty sure the Legendaries wouldn't let her kill herself, so he left her alone in the closet all day after that, spending the bulk of his time with Daisy. The sleeping others never crossed either of their minds, as both managed to find they had a lot in common (such as battling and swimming and other physical activities (which is not to be taken in a dirty way)), and after a couple of weak attempts of reminding them of the situation at hand from Pikachu, she stopped trying.

At the end of the night, they collapsed on the couch and turned on an old sitcom that wasn't very funny and relaxed. Ash's mind had managed to drift back to Misty and what he was supposed to do to make the Legendaries stop. Most of his plans involved him attacking Legendaries through his classic run and scream technique, but all of those typically ended with him getting blasted to bits with a psychic attack or left a spineless, emotionless, empty headed shell of a person, so those were out of the question.

Daisy, on the other hand, didn't have any good plans either. Well, she didn't have any plans at all, to be fair, except of how she planned to take Misty's place and kill Ash if the boy couldn't save her sister. She came up with some good ones, but reluctantly admitted to herself that they really wouldn't help much, and she still couldn't have her sister back. As annoying as Misty could be, she would like to have her as normal as she ever was. If not because they were related and because he did care about the crazy redhead, then at least because she didn't want to have to do anything around the gym.

"Hey Ash," Daisy said, not moving her eyes away from the television as a young boy quizzed his black and white father about why his body was beginning to act so strange. "I was just wondering if after all this time you, like, ever grew up any."

"I'm taller. It's pretty noticeable, I think."

She rolled her eyes. "Not _that_. I mean, like, emotionally and stuff. Did your mind ever mature? I mean, like, obviously you're not any smarter but…well, did you ever grow up or are you still, like, the same little kid you always were?"

"Being a kid isn't a _bad _thing, I think. I know a lot of people who told me to stay and kid and never lose my kind-like innocence and awesome stuff like that." He fiddled with the popcorn bowl in his lap, not feeling very hungry at the moment. "I'm not a bad person though, and I'm responsible and I think about other people and all that. I think I'm a pretty good person, and I don't think I want to be an adult if it basically means I'm just supposed to stop going on adventures and have a family. I think I'd rather be a kid."

Daisy nodded. "Makes sense, I guess. I don't think I know what I'm asking, anyway. I think I basically wanted to know if you hit puberty yet."

"Oh, that? _That's _happened. _That _sucks. Girls are a lot prettier now. But you'd know all about guys and hormones, 'cuz, you know, you're you. You wear your tight bathing suits and do your weird water ballet things and dance and do all that other stuff. Misty says you guys get a lot of fanmail and marriage proposals and, uh, requests." He laughed awkwardly. "That must be a little weird, guys asking you to dress up and do stuff for them."

She shrugged and grabbed a handful of popcorn for herself, a little grossed out by the fact that Ash has poured on a little too much melted butter and her hand was now slick with it. "It was awkward at first, but after a while you just accept it. I even, like, tend to think of it as a compliment. Misty still hasn't gotten used to it, but I, like, don't really think she ever will. She just doesn't seem like that type of person. Feel bad for her, though."

He shook his head. "Misty doesn't get those kinds of mail. She gets fanmail, but she doesn't get anything bad."

"Yeah she does. What planet have you been living on?"

"Misty never _said_ she got those."

"Of course she got them. She's a girl. She a gym leader who wears a wet swimsuit to battle in. She's got _me _for a sister. Trust me, she gets _plenty_. Mostly asking her to dress up in costumes and stuff because we asked her to be in one or two shows and now suddenly she's the costume girl and then she yells for us opening her mail and blah, blah, blah. I don't see what's so wrong about looking in someone's mail." She finished her handful and snatched up another, snorting as the black and white character participated in physical comedy.

"I don't think you're supposed to do that."

"Well, legally we were good until she came of age at sixteen and took over the gym and all that. Morally, I guess it was always kinda wrong."

"Then why do you?"

"I want to see what she has in the mail, duh. By the way, you have _really_ bad handwriting. Misty was the only one in the house who knew what you were saying, and half the time she couldn't make it out." She swallowed the handful and went back for more, ignoring Ash's stunned expression. "It's good you switched to email because it was pretty much impossible to read. Now we can all figure out what you're saying, and you have a very exciting life. Much better with emails."

He blushed. "_You _read my emails."

"What's the big deal? It's not like you've said anything like 'I think you're hot, Misty, marry me' or anything embarrassing, well, except for the whole dress up as a maid thing. That one was pretty funny. You should have sent pictures with that one."

"Why? So you could look at them?"

"Duh. What else do you do with pictures?"

He nearly stood up in alarm, but the warmth from the popcorn was enough to remind him to stay seated, so he stuck to simply hissing, "Those were _private!_"

"Yeah, we don't _do _private. Misty yells about that all the time. It's her _private _diary, it's her _private _mail, it's her _private _email, it's her _private _underwear drawer. She's really bad at sharing."

She finally finished her handful of popcorn and leaned back, leaving Ash to stare at her as if she had gone completely insane. His mother didn't peak at his things or read his mail. She did touch his underwear, but she packed his bag for him mostly so that was okay. He couldn't imagine living in a family that did, or that the family was bold enough to read _his _private emails, some of which _were _embarrassing.

"You shouldn't have read those," he muttered, sinking down in the couch a bit. "They weren't for _you_, they were for Misty. Just like the ones I send to my mom and the ones I send to Tracey are only for _them._"

"Sorry. You're actually a lot more fun than I would have thought. I can see why Misty likes you so much." Daisy grinned and did a small sitting down dance on the couch. "Lover boy."

His blush came back and he glared at her, temper flaring ever higher. "Listen, I don't know why everyone keeps saying it but I'm _not _in love with Misty."

"Maybe everyone's saying it because it's true. Or 'cuz everyone's wrong. I don't think everyone's wrong, but they could be. You know, like the planet being flat thing."

"It's _not _true."

"I think it is, and I think she likes you back. Maybe I just don't know anything about her, you know, since I'm her sister and all, but whenever I see how she acts around you I think it looks like she's got some sort of crush on you." Daisy looked away from the television to let her eyes run up and down him once. "I can't blame her. You _are _a little cutie."

"I'm _not_. And just because you're her sister doesn't mean you know everything about her! You could be wrong."

"All I'm saying is if everyone thinks you like her back and they're right about her liking you, they're probably right. If you're as weird as I think you are I wouldn't be surprised if you couldn't figure out that you've got a crush too. I mean, you're not too smart so it wouldn't be that-"

He cut her off sharply, sitting up. "I don't like her. I would know that. I can't be that dumb."

She took another handful of popcorn and turned back to the show nonchalantly. "Oh really? Would you? I thought you sucked at love stuff."

"Yeah, I do, but I'm sure I would know. I mean, you have to know, don't you?" He frowned, more to himself than to her, his eyebrows dropping low on his face and his brain going into overdrive. "Yeah. You've got to know. Who _doesn't _know?"

"Who saves the world?" she retorted. "You're a special kid."

"Guess you win there." He shrugged and sighed. "Still, I think I would know. I mean, I don't think I'm that stupid. Do you think I'm that stupid?"

"Yes," she snorted in a very Misty-like fashion, snatching the popcorn bowl from his lap and laying back in the chair. Her feet dropped onto the table and she cleared her throat of the itchy pieces of popcorn that stuck to it. "Listen, if you can't figure out that Misty has the hugest crush on you ever, you're a complete moron. Honestly, she's fallen for guys before but you're totally the hardest."

"That was _my _popcorn. I _popped _it."

"Not to mention she gets all cranky because she keeps trying to get over you and she gets a new crush and then you show up and suddenly the other guy's not hot anymore. Then she complains. Mew, she complains a lot."

He blushed deeper and began rubbing the back of his neck. "I really don't think she'd like me. Girls don't like-"

"Ha! Girls don't like you. Don't go there with _me_!" she corrected snappishly, looking back at him and pointing a very accusing finger his way. "I have news for you, Ash, girls fall all over themselves to get to you. You're the type of kid who needs an older sister to explain all this to you since you're such a love moron and all. I've heard the stories, kiddo, girls flirt with you all the time, and Mew did Misty ever get jealous."

"Nuh-uh. When?"

"Too many to explain. Trust me, Ash, loads of girls like you. If I was a few years younger, I'd be hitting on you. Seriously, you're, like, a really charming kid. If you started going out with Misty, I'd be jealous she got a catch." She tossed a piece of popcorn into the air and caught it perfectly in her mouth. "Tall, dark, and handsome. Well, dark and handsome. Have you, like, grown at all?"

He glared. "You're all freakishly tall."

"Not _freak_ishly. You should have seen the girls at some of the beauty competitions I've been to! They were Amazons. You might catch up though. Your mom's not too short. Don't know about your dad. Still, you never know. This fresh air and water here in pristine Pallet ought to be good for something, right?" She giggled. "Maybe you're just extra fertile."

"Extra what?"

"Good at babymaking," she said. "Between our family's thing for multiple births and your Pallet fertility, you could be like that world record family that had sixty something kids."

"That's scary."

She yawned and set the bowl on the table, snatching up the remote at the same time to click off the show, right when the black and white child was about to learn a very important life lesson. "Anywho, I think I'm going to turn in for the night soon. I'll crash on the couch again, if you don't mind. I can sleep through pretty much anything, so if you want to just grab a chair and keep watching the-"

"Nah," he stood up and stretched. "I'll go to bed, since you already turned it off. Want me to take the bowl back to the kitchen?"

"Would you?" she asked innocently, fluttering her eyes in a way he assumed a lot of men found charming, though he just found it weird.

He would do it anyway, just to be nice. Thanking her for the good conversation, he picked up the bowl and walked back to the kitchen, setting it in the sink as lightly as he could. He then headed up the stairs, taking care to turn all the lights off and checking to make sure the doors were locked. He took the stairs three at a time and crept into his room. Misty was snoring in her bed again, and the clock said ten. Two more hours and he was home free, and he was going to go to sleep anyway. He cheered and did a little victory dance.

She threw a pillow at him, interrupting his happy dance, and he leapt into bed still fully clothed.

He fell asleep rather quickly. It wasn't a dreamless sleep, as unfortunate as that was. Ash was a sixteen year old boy, and even with his aversion to all things love related he still had his moments. So, as all boys are likely to do, he had a sex dream. At least, he figured it would be a sex dream. He never actually got to the sex part, and it was mostly just a lot of making out. It was as close to sex as he would go, even in his fantasies, and it was decently fun for him.

In fact, it was fun enough that he didn't wake up screaming (though he did wake up a bit nervous as the dream girl had attempted to touch him under his shirt, which was a definite no until he was at least twenty five) and once he had stopped panting and his frightened, turned on breathing had returned to normal, he stretched comfortably and stared at his ceiling for a little while, contemplating on his dream and shuffling his socked covered feet.

"I wish she was like that," he sighed to himself, then froze and sat up quick. "No! No I don't! I don't wish Misty was like that and I…I didn't mean her either way! Don't change her! Please, please don't make her like that! Come on, creepy Legendaries, it's not right. You know it's not right! It's already tomorrow anyway!"

He looked over at the clocked and groaned. He had lied. Eleven fifty three. Ah, well, he'd been close.

(_Ash, what's wrong?_)Pikachu asked drowsily, waking up to his yelling. _(Did they do something anyway?_)

"I wished."

That did the trick. She was on her paws instantly. (_How the hell did you wish? We had just a few minutes! You were sleeping! What the hell could you wish while-_) She stopped her rabid squeak and narrowed her eyes at him. _(Ash Ketchum, you didn't! Tell me you didn't!_)

"I'm going to get Daisy. Maybe she'll know what to do," he said, jumping to his feet.

He sprinted down the stairs to the couch, where she'd fallen asleep just a while earlier and shook her. He didn't get a response. He shook her a little rougher, starting to get nervous. "Daisy? Come on! You beat the system by being stupid. Don't tell me you're so dumb you can't wake up! Come on, Daisy. I think I wished for something really bad and I'm nervous and please of please don't leave me alone today!"

(_Calm down, Ash. It can't be that bad,_) Pikachu tried to reassure, catching her balance on his shoulder. (_So she wants to have sex with you? How bad can that be? The whole "just say no" thing usually works out pretty well, doesn't it?_)

"But I wished she was like my dream and…and after what I talked about with Daisy it…I'm a healthy boy and it's normal and I don't want to do this! What do I do?" He tugged at his hat. "Pikachu, I'm really scared."

(_Leave_._)_

"Leave," he repeated, catching the word. "Right. I can leave. What's keeping me here? Nothing. Right. I'll just leave and I can come back once the twenty four hours are over and I can try and figure out how to save Misty!"

"Don't leave, Ash. You'll make me feel bad after I took all this time to dress up for you," came the low, soft reply from the nearby stairwell. He would have to turn to see her, and every part of his brain (well, every part except for _that _part) told him to just make a run for the door, that he could beat her there if he just ran like hell, but his body wouldn't listen. It stood there, stiff as a rock and breathing very rarely. "You won't leave me all alone, Ash, will you?"

_"Pikachu_," he whined.

(_Ash, I'm seeing it and I'm telling you to run. You're not going to like it. Run._)

"Only cowards run, Ash. Ignore her. Don't be a coward. Besides, it's not like I'm out to hurt you. I can be as gentle as you like. Or rough, if you're into that. Whatever you want, it's all yours." She chuckled smoothly. "Doesn't sound like a bad deal, hmm?"

He shut his eyes tight and whispered, "I'm not a coward."

"You are too! You won't even look at me. That's brave, isn't it? Not looking at your friend. It's not like I'm naked, Ash. All my parts are covered pretty well. Maybe we can talk about this. No action, just talking. You don't mind talking, do you coward? You talked enough with my sister last night."

He clenched his fists. "No. And I'm not a coward. Just because I don't like love stuff doesn't make me a coward."

"Does to. You made me this way. This is your wish, your dream and you won't even look at it. I came from your head. Let's see how imaginative you really are." She dropped her voice even lower, a snarl now. "Ketchum, look at what you did. Don't run away like the coward you are."

(_This isn't Misty. Misty would tell you to run. Misty would know you don't want this, that you've got every right to be scared._) She stuck her cold nose in his ear, hoping to wake him up a bit.(_Come on, Ash. Make a wish, run away, and we'll deal with an easier one tomorrow. Please, Ash, I don't want you hurt. I don't think the trio is playing anymore._)

"I'm not going into town. She's right. It's my fault."

She growled. (_Oh, now that she doesn't make sense you listen. Good job, Ash. At least don't look. Just don't._)

It was too late, of course. It wouldn't be the second to last chapter if he hadn't. He had already turned and there she was, not naked (as she had promised), but he wouldn't call her clothed. Socks, sneakers, shorts were a little shorter but fine, and he really didn't mind his old hat on her head, but he did mind his old vest and bra being the only things on her top half. He didn't much like the makeup either, because she was very good at looking pretty and not like a clown.

"Told ya it wasn't so bad."

"It's not your body, and she's not a doll," he mumbled. "You shouldn't be doing that."

"It is my body."

He clenched his fists tight. "No. It's not. That's Misty's body and you're not Misty! Just because you can dress it up and make it act however you want doesn't make it yours. Give Misty back her body because I'm not interested!"

She giggled. "We both know you're a little interested, or else I wouldn't be here."

"That's not what I mean!" he cried, taking a bold step towards her. "I didn't mean the wish and you know it. I want the real you back. Please, Misty, I want the real you. I know you're in here. Daisy told you how to get out, so please come out."

"It's very sweet, but I'm just as good as the Misty you're thinking of. I'm better, in anything." She took a step closer as well, though hers wasn't jerky. She glided across the floor with all the skill and practice that a thousand year old Legendary would have. "You don't ever have to get sick of me. You can make me whatever you want, make me do whatever you want. What's the downside?"

"You're…you're supposed to be all…temper and fiery and stuff."

"Oh, what do you know? You're such an idiot!" she shouted. Then, she smiled and laughed a cute little laugh. "See? Not a problem. I can be that too. You just tell me when you can't take it anymore, or I'll just learn what you like. I'm not brainless. I can learn too."

He swallowed. "But it's not…it's not right."

"What's so wrong about it?"

He shut his eyes tighter and began to shake. "It's not right. I _know _it's not right."

She walked forward slowly, gliding again. Misty wasn't a klutz, but she didn't glide like that. People didn't glide like that, not unless they were in dreams or movies. Still, wrong as it was he couldn't move, and didn't want to, on some level. "I'm a good kisser. You can try. You've kissed her a couple times before. This won't be any different."

"Yeah, it is. I know it's bad now. Before I didn't realize but now I…" he swallowed, her body centimeters away from, radiating heat and pheromones. "I…uh, eyes. They're big and pretty. They're really green. Bright, bright green. Let's just look at each other's eyes like nice people and not do anything."

She laughed lightly. "You know what the funny part is? As scared as you are, if I kiss you, you won't stop me. You'll enjoy it, and you'll hate yourself for it. But you don't need to, because I'm Misty now. I want whatever you want me to. So, close your eyes and just…just enjoy yourself."

She tilted her head and leaned forward, and still Ash was froze to the spot. But Pikachu was there, and Pikachu zapped them both, and that was all it took. Ash woke from his terrified trance and ran, not towards the door, he realized. He cursed himself for running the wrong way. He stumbled through the first door he found slammed the door behind him, backing up and leaning against it.

"Ash," she whined, slamming into the door just as it locked. "We had something there. Don't just run away, please. Let's finish what we started!"

He shouted, "Give back Misty!"

"I am Misty!"

"No you're not! Misty wouldn't do this! Misty would know that I'm scared and she'd be scared and there no way she'd ever do that. Not her."

"I am her, Ash, a better her."

"You're not better, you're worse!"

"I'm better and you better get used to it! Now open the door so we can do this!" she shrieked, fists beginning to pound at the door. Rhythmically, smoothly still. Even in that she managed to be graceful. It wasn't real. It was definitely better than reality, but it didn't change that twist in his gut that told him something wasn't right.

"Misty," he tried again, turning his face to the door. "I know you're in there. Please, just try to calm down and help. Please, Misty. I'm so damned scared and I can't do this. I can't do this to you."

He closed his eyes, panting with fear and hating himself for crying. "I don't want you like this! I don't want to do this now! I don't want to go through this anymore and I don't think I wanted it to begin with! I thought I could fix all your problems but you're just as annoying without them! When you were caring you said you liked me for who I am, even if I am bad at stuff! You were always so much smarter than me and you…you were pretty and you could be so nice and…and I was jealous of that. So why would I want more?"

"Ash, what are you talking about?"

"I thought I could make you perfect, but I never thought that I would want you to be. I don't want you to be. I'd be so jealous of you if you were perfect I couldn't stand it! It's your faults that let me actually stand you and get close to you and have fun with you!"

"Ash, that's so sweet," she murmured. "Though I'd rather you just get your pants off."

He choked on a sob. "Damn it. I really hoped that would work. What do I have to say?" He gripped the handle tight. "Misty," he tried again. "I know you're scared too. And mad. I am too, but you have to calm down. Just think of something calming. Like a river or a lake or an ocean or whatever else you like."

He hiccupped and paused to try to breathe again. "Think about me and Brock. Remember that one cliff? The one we really loved? Remember how we all just sat there and relaxed for hours? Think of that, please. Think of that and calm down. Please, Misty. I know you can do this. Just tell me what to do."

"Tell me you _love _me," she whispered, her voice trembling.

"They'll know if I'm lying."

"Say you'll have _children. _You'll keep your line going. There will be another Chosen One when you die." She breathed deep. "Say that."

He pressed his forehead tight against the door. "I love you. We're going to have lots of children together, and one of them is going to be the Chosen One and is gonna save the world."

"Oh, thank _Mew,_" she gasped, her voice cracking.

He heard her slide down the wall and collapse to the floor. He heard her breathe deep and hiccup three times, then abruptly burst into very loud sobs. He didn't help her though. He didn't move. It wasn't because he was heartless, and it wasn't because he was scared he'd hurt her or that seeing her sobbing would make him feel guilty. He wasn't even scared that she would hate him. He was just scared at the moment, and decided to do some crying of his own.

* * *

Whole fic reread and reposted, moving onto chapter ten. Hope it's everything you guys are after.


	10. Game Over

Loved. That. Movie. Anyone else with me? Rockin' movie. Probably because it had Arceus, and that makes everything better.

* * *

**Game Over**

He stopped crying as quickly as he could (which was only a minute or two at most, he was proud to say) before he opened the cabinet door. He expected to see Brock or Dawn or Daisy or his mother by Misty, or breaking in to see him, but there wasn't anyone there. Well, no one but Misty, who was sobbing pretty loudly all things considered. That made him nervous. Shouldn't she have been getting mad? Shouldn't she have clobbered him the second his head poked out the door? That's what she would have done normally. Well, he guessed. This had never happened before, so he wasn't quite sure how she would normally believe in a situation like this.

"Oops, she broke," Mesprit sighed, either appearing in the room or having been so silent before Ash hadn't noticed. It made him jump either way, and made him boldly crawl from his closet to glare at the now present trio. "I hate it when that happens. Don't worry though, Azelf can fix it. This has happened a lot before. She's only a little broken after!"

Understanding who the 'she' was Ash jumped to his feet and stood defensively in front of the girl – who was still crying – Pikachu on his shoulder. He braced himself, tightening his shoulders and bending his knees to spring forward if need be. "What did you do?"

"We did not do anything," Uxie said highly, refusing to look down at him. "Your little _mate_ was the one who did it. She was so terrified she managed to throw me out of her mind. She broke into _my _mind, in fact. Not the first time it has happened in risky situations like these, but it is rather unpleasant and I would much like an apology for the very rude intrusion."

"How'd she break into your mind? You're a lot stronger than-"

The creature sighed, and spoke slowly as if Ash was stupid by potato standards rather than by human, "Any living creature with a brain could have done it. It is not difficult when I am so restraining my powers as to not harm a person. We were intertwined, she managed to get the upper hand, and now she has to deal with the psychic powers that no human could handle, even though any human could quite easily obtain it."

"All people have psychic powers?"

"It is very complicated, but I shall try-"

"Everything's psychic, kinda, in the sense that they can get psychic energy in them, like conductors! Most things just can't use it. Since she doesn't know how to use it, there's just a lot of psychic power getting channeled through her and it hurts, like if there was a bunch of electricity going through," Mesprit explained.

"Yes, perhaps in an oversimplified way that is what is happening, but-"

"Why would being psychic hurt? Lots of people are, and things are even flying around," Ash asked, still standing guards. "Why's she crying?"

"Instantly becoming psychic and being intimately connected to every creature and the planet can be a bit stressful. Let me break the psychic connection we are currently sharing, which she made because she pushed too hard, and let her return as normal as she'll ever be. Every second you wait holds more torment and a greater chance of her going insane. Do not make me leave your friend in pain."

"Pikachu?" he asked uncertainly.

(_I don't think they're lying, Ash. Either way, we know Misty can break out now. So even if they are being tricky it'll be okay._)

Mesprit floated a bit closer, talking quickly with a happier lilt in its voice. "Well, any of your friends could of, if they have the right motivator. You have to be scared out of your mind to do it. Or not think. I have to say, I _never _saw anyone do that before. I did _not _know you could break from being that stupid. That's awesome."

"Daisy!" he cried, stepping aside to let Uxie tend to Misty, though mostly just to try and get a look at the couch the girl was still sprawled out on, fast asleep. "And Mom n' Brock and Dawn! They're all dead or something! What happened to them?"

"Oh, nothing. They're just knocked out."

That didn't calm him down in the least, his voice only going higher in pitch and getting quite a bit shakier. "Why'd you knock them out?"

"They were very distracting. You needed to focus so you could mate with her." It crossed its little arms irritably. "You were supposed to mate. A normal boy would have mated. I knew we should have just made the two of you fall madly in love. And now it's too late! Arceus came and ruined all our fun! We're not allowed to me again. Apparently you're not supposed to mate yet. Not the right egg and sperm and all that. It's all about timing with getting the right baby."

"Don't I get to chose when I'm ready to mate?"

"Technically yes, but Arceus and a few other all-powerfuls have already chosen every point of your life. They know how it works, how everyone works, and easily know what to do to get a certain result. In this case, for you to mate with her and get the right child to be the next Chosen One."

He calmed a bit, his curiosity caught. "My kid will be the next Chosen One?"

"Yeah. Maybe skip a generation or eight but it'll eventually happen."

"So I don't have any choice?" he asked, a little disappointed that fate wasn't nearly as exciting as it seemed to be.

Azelf smiled affectionately. "Well, you do as you know it. The concept of choice is an illusion. A nice one, and nothing wrong with thinking of the world that way, still an illusion though."

"Choice is an allusion?" he asked.

"Illusion. A trick. Allusion is a reference inside a literary or media device to another literary or media device, in its loosest definition."

Ash glared up at them. "So, I'm going to have a baby with Misty? I don't have a choice?"

"You have a choice, but you don't have the choice in making it."

"I don't get it."

Uxie snorted. "I did not expect you to, as you are not the smartest boy ever created. If nothing else about you, I know that much. Still, Misty is fine now. Unconscious, but she will wake up in a few minutes like everyone else. Good luck with it all, Chosen One. Try not to be too moronic."

They vanished and he blinked at the place where they had been, feeling very confused. He wasn't so confused as to how they suddenly vanished, as things did that every so often in his universe, but about how he didn't have a choice in having children with Misty, or a choice in anything, and how becoming suddenly psychic could somehow hurt. Finally, he turned to the little mouse beside him. "I have no idea what just happened, but I don't want to have a baby."

(_You probably will. Most people do. After all, people wouldn't be here if they didn't make more of them,_) she said lightly, leaping to his shoulder and nuzzling his cheek. (_Why don't you celebrate a little? You saved the day! After you almost destroyed it, as usual, but you did save it._)

He stared at the girl on the floor in front of him. Then, he gulped painfully and took a nervous step back. "Misty's going to _kill_ me when she wakes up."

(_Always the negative with you. Can't you ever look on the bright side?_)

"I wonder what being psychic was like."

(_Even just being able to _focus _would be nice._)

"Feeling everything all at once would be scary," he mused, voice and body trembling, "A lot of people would go crazy. I'd go crazy. Hope Misty's not. Daisy wouldn't like that."

(_You better be rambling because you're nervous and not because you're a complete moron who doesn't care._)

"Pikachu, I'm feeling lightheaded. I think I might faint."

(_Why?_) she gasped, looking at him strangely. (_We've been through much worse than this before!_)

"I really think she might kill me. Really. I've seen her mad over really small stuff compared to this. It's the dying a virgin thing all over again. I'm too young to die. I've never even seen a real girl naked. You know what's even more important? I've never won a championship. I never beat the Elite Four. I'm nowhere near close to becoming a pokémon master. I still haven't caught them all."

(_One of your goals is seriously catching them all?_)

"Okay, so I don't exactly catch a lot of pokémon, but I might have if I wasn't going to die," he moaned, sinking to the floor and burying his head in his hands. Pikachu poked at him, doing her best to console him, though he wasn't keen on moving and was quite exhausted from the wild week. He sat like that for quite some time, until he heard a quiet groan beside him. Looking up revealed Misty rubbing at her head and looking a little irritated.

She bit her lip for a second, then whipped her head around fast to look at him. The action was more than enough to make him jump, and her voice asking, "Do you have any idea what's going on?" was enough to bring him to his feet, looking around awkwardly before finally dropping his eyes down to his feet.

"Do you?" he asked hopefully.

She narrowed her eyes. "_You_, I'll get to. First, we have to go to your attic. The Legendaries have been staying up there with Meowth. They stole him when they heard him making plans against us, and Kara Kingsley just had a baby in the Hoenn region. It hurt, because it was in the field and it was a breech birth and they had to turn the baby around inside her." She blinked. "I've got little bits of people in my head. Wow, this is creepy."

"Are you still all psychicy?"

"No, thank Mew." She rubbed her head again, as if that might shake the remnants of experience and memories she'd never had that had stuck inside her head. "Thanks for crying, by the way. It got me scared enough to break through. Well, until my head exploded. Acreus, that was _horrible_. My head's still reeling."

He leaned closer. "How'd you-"

"Like they said, I got scared. I freaked out real bad, then everything was clear, then I cried, then my head exploded. Nobody else got really scared, just angry. That was the problem." She looked at him to see if he got it. He hadn't, so she sighed and continued, "You had to be scared to break free. No matter how much you said you loved me it wasn't going to do anything, not even if you meant it. They just wanted us to have sex so we'd make a chosen baby thing, but it's not the right time so they're not going to keep trying anymore."

He nodded. "They told me that."

"It was sex, stupid, or scared stupid. Nothing else would have done it. I got out of their control because of you. Even though it was your fault to begin with, I'm at least going to thank you for being the one that fixed it. Even if you had no idea what you were doing." She got to her feet as well, and strode off towards the stairs, pausing for only a moment to look back over her shoulder as him. "Everyone else should be waking up soon. No more than fifteen minutes tops."

"How'd you know about Meowth?"

"Scary psychic moment. We really should get him out. No one else knows where he is."

He blinked. "They kidnapped him?"

"Yup. They heard them planning to steal Pikachu, and even though they wouldn't mind stealing her too they couldn't because she was so important to your they figured you would have dropped dead if she wasn't by your side. So they kidnapped him. They wanted to go back for Team Rocket, but then I was a cheerleader so I'd be rooting for the other side so you'd just jealous and hopefully sleep with me_ because_ you were so jealous."

"But what about everyone else?"

"Friends and breeding stock. You could live without us better than you could live without Pikachu. _I'm _the breeding stock, in case you haven't guessed." She glared, crossing her arms at him. "You, however, shouldn't be the all important Chosen One because you're an ass who has no feelings for others and should be thrown off a cliff into a pit of poison types."

"Misty, I didn't mean it! Mist, please," he whined as she stormed off, spinning sharply on her heel and stomping up the first couple of steps. "Ugh! You're so impossible! I wish-"

"Wish whatever you want!" she screamed, turning back to him. "It's not going to do crap because the Legendaries are gone!"

"I'm happy about it!" he shouted back. "I don't want you to change every day! I want you to be you!"

She growled in the back of her throat, hands gripping the railing with all her might. Her mouth opened once or twice, looking for the best words to say, but had to settle for a venomous, "That's such a _lie_" before continuing up the stairs once more.

He followed her, scowling. "It's not. I wouldn't have wished you back if it was!"

She gave a half sigh, half sobbing sound and threw herself against the railing, rubbing at her temples. "I know, but I _hate_ you right now. After everything you did to me…after everything you did you just can't…Can't you just shut up and let me yell at you until I feel better? You already did enough, can't I just have this!"

He curled up his fists in front of his face, leaning forward in a terrible fighting stance. "No! I'm sorry so you can't yell at me! That's the way things work!"

Her hands pressed harder on her temples, hoping that it would be enough to counter the shouting match she was in. It only made her head throb harder which only ended up with her getting angrier. "Yes I am, you ass! You screwed up and badly so I should be allowed to yell at you as much as I want for being a screw up, moronic, complete jerkface idiot! After everything you did to me I'm allowed to hate you for that much! I'm allowed to hate you for a little while."

He didn't think about what he had to say, as usual, and tried his best at the words that he thought she wanted to hear. "Misty, I'm sorry I didn't realize that I liked you for who you are and-"

"You think I'm mad about that?" She shouted, clenching her fists. "You think I care about this after school special be-who-you-are crap? Who cares about that? I'm going to be the same person whether you like me or not! The whole world doesn't revolve around your opinion of me! How can't you see the problem?"

"I just don't!" he cried back. "It's not about me liking you?"

"No, Ash, it's the mewdamned respect you should have for me as a living being! I was your doll! You did with me what you wanted and I didn't have any say! For a day or two I could understand, but for over a week, Ash? Day after day you would come up with new personalities like this was a game! It's not! I have feelings and thoughts and dreams! Who are you to chose who I get to be? Don't you think it should have been on my head?"

He narrowed his eyes. "It's not like I came up with them on purpose! And what did you want me to do? There wasn't much-"

"You could have told me" she shrieked, her arms wrapped around her stomach and she bent in half, trying her best to hide any tears that might have been fighting into her eyes. "Instead of running to Brock you could have told _me_! I remember everything and the one time you told me it was a _joke_! You could have wished the very first day for me to be whoever I want to be. You never did!"

"You're right."

"No duh I'm right! And I don't want-"

"-to see me. I get it. What I did was wrong and you shouldn't forgive me for it, but I really…" He cleared his throat and rubbed at his watering eyes. "I was being stupid and I didn't mean to do that to you. You should hate me."

She stopped and slammed her fist against the railing bars, groaning darkly. "I don't hate you. Your human social skills are on a borderline autistic level, Ash. If I couldn't put up with this I would have left you long ago."

"That's not comforting."

"It's not _supposed_ to be. I'm only telling you the truth. When I signed up to travel with you I knew you came with your own special brand of insanity. It's not a surprised and it's not anything you haven't done a million times before in little ways. You seriously have to have everything spelled out for you to figure out how to have some sympathy. It's just a big screw up so I'm extra mad."

He swallowed and stared at her, still bent in half but looking a bit more relaxed now, more like she was hanging with exhaustion. "But how could you do that? How could you forgive me after everything I put you through? You said I used you like a doll!"

"And you did. And I hate you," she agreed softly. "But I'm getting better at forgiving and I can't take anything you do wrong seriously. You never mean it, you just screw up at everything. I don't really hate you for this and I'm going to come back normal as ever." She sighed. "I'm just really mad at you and I hate that I'm going to end up forgiving you even though I really don't want to. It's frustrating because I let you get away with murder. I should have had you killed long ago."

"Oh." He paused awkwardly. "So why haven't you?"

"Why do you think?" She snorted, shaking her bangs from her eyes as she stood back up. "You heard it often enough this week."

"That you hate me?

"That I _like _you." Misty rolled her eyes, though on their rolling journey they managed to catch Ash's confused expression. She stared at it for a moment, feeling her face become redder and redder as his only became more and more baffled. "I told you all week! You had to know!"

He blushed. "The Legendaries were-"

"And I just _told _you!" she gasped, clasping a hand over her mouth in a very teenage fashion. She started to race up the steps once again, with an even more teenaged kind of cry of, "Oh my _Mew _I'm going to _die_!"

Being the hero, Ash raced after her, catching her elbow and shouting "Wait!".

He spun her around, causing her to trip, landing hard enough to bruise her back on the uneven surface of the stairs. Ash, clutching to her elbow still, was dragged down on top of her, slamming his forehead against hers but refusing to roll away. She had frozen, staring up at him like he had walked in on her naked, and he fought the urge to do anything romantic. He wouldn't touch her face or fix her bangs or kiss her, especially not on the lips. Not even if he had to stop and refocus himself because his body was so intent on doing just that.

"You don't have to…to be embarrassed because you like me," he said awkwardly.

"That's easy for you to say. You don't like someone who doesn't like you back. You're not an idiot who keeps falling for the same guy six years running no matter how hard she…" She breathed in quick and squirmed beneath him, but her back was caught against the rails and her arms were pinned too strangely to push him off. "Can't you just promise not to make fun of me and let me go?"

"I'm not going to make fun of you, but you're just going to run away if I let you go. I'm still not good at this, but I think we should at least talk about it."

"No, we shouldn't. I'm happy just leaving it alone."

"But we should-"

"Unless you're going to say you like me back, there's nothing to talk about!"

He stiffened uncomfortably, mouth dropping open for a second (to respond with an ever convincing silence) before moving back, hanging his head with a sigh. "Fine. There's nothing to talk about. Let's go get Meowth."

"I don't want to get that stupid cat anymore!" she shouted, hugging her knees to her chest. She screamed at first, but her voice softened as she went on, her head falling to rest on her folded up knees. "You go do it! Just leave me here you insensitive jerk! I hope you fall out the stupid window up there and crack your stupid head open. Because I hate you."

"Misty, please-"

"I don't want to talk to you," she said, her voice cracking. "Don't you think this has been hard enough on me without your stupid rejection to top it off? It's one thing to think it but it's another to go and say it out loud."

"What do you want me to do?"

She turned her head quick and kissed him, only a second on his lips before breaking away and glaring down the stairs. "I want it to mean something because I'm _me_, not just because I'm a girl. I want you to _like _me, but you can't do that and it's not your fault." She dropped her head again. "And more than anything else I just want to go to sleep, because I'm tired and I'm sick of all this stupid stuff happening whenever you show up."

She thought it might have been nice to put his arm around her, or touch her shoulder, but he wasn't quite sure. Instead, he sat there awkwardly and tried to think of what to say. He still didn't think he had any feelings past platonic for her and her sentiment of being just a girl only went to reassure him that he didn't. Still, his heart was pounding loudly in his chest and he felt guilty that he would rather kiss her than hug her.

"Is there anyone you like?" she asked.

"Huh?"

"Do you have a crush on anyone, if you don't like me? You like girls now, so…so if you have a crush on someone it's okay. I won't try to kill her or something like that. I mean, I know you think I'm crazy and I know that I'm kinda crazy but I swear I'm not _that _crazy." She bit her lip to hold back some tears, then continued, "I just want to know if there's a reason why it couldn't be me."

"I definitely don't like anyone."

"You sure?"

"Yeah." He nodded. "I think so."

"So you don't get especially excited to see a girl? I mean, you don't look forward to it or think about calling her or arranging to see her or stuff like that?"

"I get excited to see you more, but that's because I was always closer to you than any of the others. We hung out the most, and you were the first one there, so we spent the most time together." He said, getting comfortable as he imagined this would be quite a long conversation.

"Yeah, but you don't think about kissing me more than you do any other girl. There's got to be someone you play favorites with."

"I don't really think so. It's mostly been you, because you're the only one that's actually done it." He paused. "Well, I guess we always got real close, so I thought about it some more then. I never got that close to other girls."

"But not more than any other girl," she said, brows knitting together.

"Well, yeah, I guess."

"And…and if you think about girls nak-"

"I don't think about that!" he cried, which was most likely a lie, but he certainly didn't want to discuss it with her if it wasn't. "Okay, I don't ever picture you naked. I mean, it freaked me out enough when you came down like…"

He swallowed, his eyes slowly drifting down. Her outfit hadn't changed, he realized. He still saw that white underwire bra. He still _really _saw and _really _focused on that white underwire bra, and a second later he'd been slapped across the face and Misty was hiding in the upstairs bathroom, ranting to herself (and, had he been listening to any of it, the boy on the other side of the door) about Ash being a horrible pervert.

"I can grab a shirt for you! One of my shirts! Something really, really loose!" he promised, wishing his face would stop feeling so hot. "I'm sorry!"

"It's not your fault! It's those damned legendaries!" she cried. She opened the door enough to peak her head out. "And _excuse me_, Mr. Pokémon Master, how'd I end up like this if you don't think about girls naked? Did Brock talk you into wishing this up? Or even better, Pikachu!"

Ash glanced at the mouse, who had been hovering at the top of the stairs for quite some time, enjoying the show. "I've…I've thought about you a couple times, honest, but it's not like I do it on purpose! I can't help what I dream and it's not like I…like I…" He flushed scarlet. "I can't help thinking about this stuff! You have to think about it too!"

"Of course I do," she said quietly, blushing riding up her cheeks as well. "I…I just…it's kinda embarrassing but a lot of times, when I'm feeling like…that. But, you know, I know I like you because most of the time I'm…I'm thinking of you."

"Really?" She nodded. "Um, am I good at it?"

She gave an embarrassed little yelp and slammed the door, leaning heavy on it. "Get a shirt for me, you pervert!"

"Right, I'm sorry, Mist! I'm go-"

"Mist. There you go calling me _Mist_, Ash! You're encouraging me and you don't even mean it!"

"I'm not encouraging anything! What's wrong with calling you-?"

She poked half her face out the door once more. "Are…are you absolutely sure you don't have a crush on anyone?"

"Positive."

"Not…not even on me? Because it sort of sounds like you might. I'm not saying you do, or anything, but…I mean, can't you even consider it? It sorta sounds…oh, dammit, Ash!" She slammed the door shut. "Could you just go get a shirt for me?"

"Right," he said, stumbling to his feet.

He darted back to his room and, for a second, reached for her red bag. Then paused recalling the last time he had gone into her bag. He'd found many different feminine things that he had liked and disliked, and then he'd gotten his head smacked in. Her bag was out of the question, especially with the mood she was in now. He turned on his heel and went back to his drawer, shuffling through until he found a shirt that smelled like fabric softener instead of grass (because girls tended to smell more like fabric softener and less like grass), and walked back to the bathroom, knocking twice and jumping when her hand darted out and back in quicker than he could see, the shirt seeming to vanish from his hand.

A moment later she was back out, tugging at the shirt she had on with a frown. "It's big on me."

"You don't want me to go in your bag, do you?" he snapped. "Last time I did you-"

"It's not about you getting the shirt, Ash," she whispered, tugging at the edge of it. "The shirt's big on me, and not just because it's a boy's shirt. You're not taller, but you're…your shoulders are all broadened out and you've got biceps and…and I don't know where we're standing anymore. I've was always in control, Ash! I was older and smarter and even though you may have pouted and got your way every once in a while I could still take you. I don't know if I can take you."

"You can still-"

"Look at yourself, Ash." She stared at him, and he looked down at himself as if there would be something crawling on him. "You're not a kid. It would be hard for me to win. I mean…if I don't win, does that mean that you're in control now? This whole week you controlled me without a problem and I don't think I can handle this. I'm Hester Prynne, Ash. I can't go back to society wielding their power over me because my scarlet letter goes from able to adulteress!"

"What?"

"Right, you don't read. It's about-"

"No, not that. I ignore you whenever you talk about stuff I don't know." He frowned. "What's the whole 'control' thing?"

She frowned back. "We've been in a power struggle for years, you idiot. This is one of the few times you managed to be in control. You're bigger than me and definitely a better trainer than me and you're probably stronger and faster and the only thing I've beat you at is smarter but if you've finally got the brains to not try to enter a battle of wits with me it's not like I'm ever going to be able to win anymore. What am I supposed to do?"

"I didn't know we were fighting for control. I thought we were just arguing."

"That's what the arguments were about!"

"I thought the arguments were about whatever we were arguing about," he said awkwardly. "Was it supposed to be about something else?"

"Yes!"

"Oh." He paused awkwardly. "Well, you're smarter than me."

"Fat lot of good _that _did. The only way I was able to get out of this was to be stupid or scared. Being smart has been so helpful lately. All I can do is solve riddles. When was the last time you needed help solving a riddle to save the world? Or just to do your freaking taxes?" she growled.

"You're probably still stronger than me. I still don't know how to fight anyway, so you'd probably still win."

"I wouldn't."

"What are you being so hard on yourself for? I thought you thought you were _so much better_ than everyone else. That's what you were always saying."

She shrugged and looked away. "Better than you. I know I am, but that doesn't mean I don't get worried sometimes, especially when I'm not the one in control anymore. I hate not being in control. It makes me feel like I'm back with my sisters and they're making me do whatever they want and I can't do anything about it."

"So what if you're not in control? I'm not your sister!"

She looked up at him under her lashes. "You're an awful lot alik-"

"Who cares who has the control? I mean I was never fighting for the stupid control! I thought we were friends, not…not things that fight for control!"

"Warring nations?"

"See? Smart!" he said, throwing his hands toward her. "You're smart. You're smarter than I am, even if I win at other stuff, what's it matter? We're friends. I'm not going to control you and you're not going to control me. Why can't we just be friends?"

She smiled a bit. "You're talking about being equals."

"Yeah, I guess."

"That's really good in a romantic relationship," she said softly, then blushed. "Not that we're in one. It's good in a friendship too! I just…Ash, I don't know. I want to kiss you and kill you at the same time! And before it always used to tilt towards killing you but the older I get the more I just want you to stop being an idiot that can't figure out how to use a decimal point by putting my lips over yours so you'll stop talking."

"I know the feeling," he said, then repeated, eyes a little wider, "I know the feeling."

It was quiet for a moment, right before Misty broke it. Ash's final statement was hanging in the air above them, too big and too obvious to leave alone.

"It's so safe here, in Pallet. It's like a nursery. It's sweet and pure and beautiful, and we're all alone in this country cottage because everyone's still sleeping. And…and if we're going to resolve this, it's now. I've got to…got to say that I love you, because I do. And I have to say that…that there's so much to talk about, and so much we have to work through, and that you're just…_such _an idiot." She laughed breathlessly, nervously. "But I have to trust you. I have to stop thinking of this whole thing as a game and think of it as…as something real."

"I have to think before I speak," he muttered.

"Yeah."

"And I need to stop lying about wanting to see…" He blushed. "I need to tell you that I want to kiss you, too."

"And you need to realize no one can hear you say you like me, and that if you do and you're not ready it can stay right here. No one but me will ever know you'll like me, we can talk about it in shadows or never talk about it again, or maybe we'll get together when you're ready. But…"

"But you have to know," he finished.

"But I have to know. I know you've told me before, but not really. Not without all the stuttering and I don't know's and blushing. Just look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me right now. Don't tell me if you think you can love me one day or can't ever love me, just tell me what you feel right now." She swallowed. "So I can get over you if I have to. Because if you don't, I really do have to."

He took a deep breath.

Truthfully, wishes and denials gone, he answered.

And once they had had a brief conversation they trotted up the stairs to release Meowth. He'd been slashing at the door to the attic, which was locked from the second floor. They stopped for a moment just below it, listening to the now frantic scratching. With the Legendaries gone, nothing was keeping him quiet, and hearing the footsteps had only encouraged him. He added cries for help to his scratching. The two below exchanged looks, and Misty courteously allowed him to be the one to hop up and hit the latch, immediately moving out of the way as it flew open, Meowth landing hard on the ground.

"Hey Meowth!" Misty chirped, leaning forward to the panting pokémon. "You want us to help you find Team Rocket? They shouldn't be too far from here. They came around here not too long ago looking for you."

He looked up, eyes round with fright, then raced away with a frightened yelp. Down the stairs, out the door, tail raised high and fur puffed out as if that would save him from the embarrassment. There was a loud thud as he crashed into the door, then the sound of the door handle rattling, and finally the door creaking open. The sound was perfectly matched by the near hysterical giggles of the two teens, who found themselves unable to stop until they were caught by several of the previously sleeping others.

"You guys alright?" Brock asked as they calmed.

"Meowth was stuck in the attic," Ash giggled, pointing to the pull down door that was laced with scratches. "When he tried to get out he ran into the door."

"But you're all back to normal?" he pressed, looking back and forth between them. "Misty's not changing and everything's settled?"

"I'm not changing and Ash is dumber than ever," she said lightly, grinning at the boy across the hall, then back to Brock. She got to her feet with a stretch. "It's nice to be back. The other me's haven't been keeping up my workout routine though. My body's all tight. You couldn't have wished for someone with an athletic personality?"

He shrugged. "I had bigger things on my mind, and some of them should have been athletic. The cheerleader one should have."

"Too much of a stereotype, apparently. She just starved herself instead of working out and stretching to keep limber."

Brock put his hand on her shoulder, one eyebrow raised suspiciously. "Misty, are you really back to normal?"

"Sure, why don't you think so?"

"It just seems like you should have killed him by now."

She beamed and winked. "Don't worry, Brock. I'll get back at him some way or another."

It doesn't seem like much of an end, one would imagine, but it's hard to find one. Where could the line be drawn? Perhaps it should end with Misty talking to Daisy, sorting out their issues. Maybe it should end when the starring couple has the time and courage and ability to date one another, or when they're married, or when they've popped out a few children. Maybe it should end with Ash going on his journey again and Misty heading home.

Or maybe the very course of it should have changed. Perhaps Ash should have been making out with Misty at the end of this, realized they were in eternal love and made his confession. One would imagine that at least what Ash had said should be written down, but that can't be shared. There were secrets in that hall that only the house heard, that Ash and Misty never did share with anyone else, as it never needed to be told. Maybe all of that's enough to make a stomach turn, and it would be better if Ash ended up with May or Misty with Brock or if there was simply no romance at all.

But it ends here, because anything further starts another story.

To talk with Daisy opens up old wounds, brings up a mother in a mental ward and a father in a coffin. To talk about dating leads to the ever changing highs and lows that come from a couple as exciting as this. To go to their marriage brings up all the debates, what Misty wanted, what Ash wanted, what Delia and the Sensational Sisters chased after in the union. To talk about the children opens up thousands of stories, being children of Ash Ketchum. To go on about his journey or Misty heading home only leaves it all hanging.

No, the story was of the Legendaries and their plan. The story was of how cocky a Chosen One can be, and him getting a bit of a better grasp of how far to go with the near unlimited power he obtained. The story was of the game that came to a close the second Misty decided to start a new one, to get her revenge. The story itself was weak and frail, made only strong by the hundreds or even thousands of little tales the filled it out. To find an ending suitable for every one of them would be impossible and, besides, it does take place in Pallet. It's hard to find an ending there.

After all, Pallet is a place for starting things.

**

* * *

**

You know, I already know that a lot of people aren't going to be happy about this, but I'm satisfied with it all. I wrote this over and over and over again, and you know what the problem was? Trying to get them together. When I first wrote this I was never really going for it. In fact, for the longest time before I started writing, it was just friendship. Later on the relationship was added, but at the root of it all it was friendship. It was about Ash treating people as people.

Of course, the biggest reason for writing this is the reason that's always ignored. In fanfic after fanfic I've read these where Ash or Misty or Bob or Jill or whoever makes a wish that the other person would do this or that, and then the person who wishes realizes "Oh, I don't want their love if it's not real!" Er…what about the fact that you just turned someone into your doll and stripped them of all basic living creature rights (because I wouldn't do that to my _turtle_, let alone another human being)? And, in return for doing this, all you can say was, "I wished for the wrong thing"?

That's just plain sick to me, and I honestly couldn't look at any more of these before I pitched a fit. The sheer irresponsibility, disregard for personal freedom, the ridiculous hubris of it all. It's emotional and mental _slavery _for Artemis's sake! I just don't know how so many people write this and can't think of that. I mean, it's no different from drugging someone! It's sick as hell, and this fic is my protest.

Stab me with flaming swords if you must, but after a month of writing this as best as I can, I am one hundred percent satisfied. I will take your criticism, I will use it for future stories, but I am content in this.

Happy Christmas, Hanukah, Kwanza, Bodhi Day, Winter Solstice, Saturnalia, Festival of the Birth of the Unconquered Sun, and any others I might have missed! ;)

Hugs and Love,  
Natty


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